:)

I think i've found the perfect guy to marry. maybe not the cutest but definitely the kind of guy that i think would make the perfect husband. he does not really need to be rich $_$ or good looking but someone kind at heart--- seriously. today i went to the Magic of Love at Expo with jr and the tuition kids and i asked Dear dear along so that we can take care of the kids together or maybe coz i dint want to go there alone haha.. yeps. when we were gg to have dinner, the way he looked after the kids, volunteered to help them buy dinner just showed how much love he had. seriously. the kids were quite troublesome after that but he dint say any word of complaint. :)) can u believe this. i was like cursing coz the kids were very very noisy and not very cooperative i must say.. haha but still luckily i had dear dear with me. thanks dear.. u made today a very wonderful day.. *HUG*

:)

i shall touch a little on the day WE went mount faber.. haha WE walked all the way up to the top and by the time we reached WE were sweating like pigs. seriously no where near the 'r' word.. romantic that is.. i mean it's nice that WE were able to spend some time together and managed to catch a glimpse of the sun set but that's it. full stop. i dont even want to think about the juicy mosquitoes that attempt to suck OUR blood but i smack it in time haha and the 1000kg bag that i had to lunge with me when i climbed the steps up to the peak. but at last.. WE made it to the top.. haha and saw the long awaited GIGANTIC christmas tree HE saw. it's nice when night falls coz the whole tree is lighted up but when u see it in the day it's like -_-'' haha serious. but i came up with a list of things to bring when u go mount faber on foot:
1. mosquito repellant
2.FAN
3.water bottle
4.camera
5.umbrella (in case it rains)
6.$$$ (in case your legs are breaking)
yeps that's about it.. but still i enjoyed my trip to the famous Mount Faber Park.. haha :)) thanks dear oh yes, guys, i'm only gg korea on the 27th so maybe we can still meet for christmas celebration? haha and i can celebrate it with dear dear *YAHOOOOOOO* lolz oh yes.. caleb, i'm really serious about setting up a business so i only wanna rope in those really interested to discuss yeps.. got a lot creative juices bursting in my brain le.. haha.. just received a email from the school saying that we have to pay our exam fees in jan and guess how much?? it's a whopping $2000.00 WAH! so cheap arrgh i hate it man.. and i think my brain is going to burst. i cant help but feel squashed when i want to study ibm.. it's like 10 chaps in 2 months.. izit possible man?! but i'm still gonna mug hard and i know i can if i bother to put in the effort.. :)) i think it's the same for all of us.. went for hockey training twice already. it wasnt as good as i had expected coz i'm sort of rusty already so long nv play but i'm still able to hit the ball just that i get breathless haha and the guys dont really pass the ball to me coz they like to play among themselves.. or izit coz they know i'll miss the ball?! muhaha but yeps. i must continue to go jogging.. have been slacking for the past 2 weeks le and the week i'm gg korea also slack but maybe go korea can fast.. haha wonder what's for the meals la.. they had better not bring us to some chinese restaurant where i'll stuff myself silly.. haha yeps. yesterday went to meet our dearest SANA nisar.. haha aka Mrs Umair.. lolz so long nv see her le.. and apparently we were embarrassing ourselves at coffee.. i could feel the stares on us ( or izit just on me?) haha but who cares? i really had an enjoyable time yest with fishy and ah lua.. we went to town ( i so long nv go le) and went on a shopping spree! haha i bought 3/4s from mambo.. i must go on strict diet again if not the 3/4s will burst during CNY.. haha k la.. blogged long enough la.. must go call HANDSOME tan now.. haha bye peeps. miss ya all! :))

something's wrong with blogger AGAIN..

arrgh this is so 'put put'.. i think it's either blogger's problem or mine.. cant change the time leh.. anyway it's 13/12/2005 today and arnd 1130 maybe after i finish blogging it would be 1145 le ba.. yeps tmr it's officially our 3rd month together.. hehe 3 months seemed to have passed so fast but still, the thought of us getting together on 14/09/2005 just brings a smile back to my face. seriously. all those things that we have gone through together.. i must say.. it wasnt easy. from strangers turned friends and now lovers will we become family someday? haha i dont know and i want to know if we would. i dont think it will be easy but i want to try. haha sounds as if i'm gonna get married but NO! haha i'm not i'm actually married already to Jay and Daniel that is. lolz.. sigh so confirm now gg overseas le.. and i'm gonna spend christmas all alone ok, maybe together with happy family but far far far away from u my dear :( but yah la.. still i gonna try to enjoy it A-L-O-N-E. sigh we've got so many activities planned up next week.. I CANT WAIT.. I CANT CONTAIN MY EXCITMENT!!! hahahahaha.. :)) ok it's 11.43pm already and i havent finish blogging yet.. so long nv blog le but like very lazy to blog still coz just now i was typing my socio assignment.. almost went blind.. haha so disgusting.. lolz oh yes i was told by Mr Aloysius Tan to come up with my goals for the year 2006 so i think this is a few first.
Shuan's 2006 GOals to be achieved..
1. Get into NTU
2. Sit and discuss the business plan with evofus ( or izit just caleb?!)
3. Continue to go jogging regularly and DIET.. DIEt.. DIet.. Diet..diet.. hahahha :P i must.
for now, that's all ba i guess.. maybe i should come up with a christmas wishlist too? haha
1. spend it with dear2 (not possible anymore) this was the first thing on my mind, seriously :(
2. ******meaningful gifts******
3.my grey nike bag
4.some nice clothes
5.more $$$$$ " please santa.. cant u see my waving at you??" haha
yah la.. that's all i guess i dont think it's a lot right? lolz ciao ppl 7 more mins before the clock strikes 12 and it's 14-12-2005.. 6..5..4..3..2..1.. *jiang jiang jiang jiaaaaaannnnngggg* hahahah

:(

Ok. it's final. I'm gg korea and hong kong from 25th-31st.. and i'm not feeling excited simply because i cant spend the first Christmas together with dear dear.. sigh.. what the heck. :(

mixed feelings

Yest went for the asian television awards saw the MEN of my dreams.. ALLAN WU, ZHEN JIA YING AND TIN CHOKKAMOLKJI ! oh man.. i was yelling like a mad woman there when i saw all the hunks.. haha oh yes if u have a hard time deciphering the thai guy's name i'll pronounce it for u next time.. haha oh yes i'll update our pic some time later.. haha i was sooo excited that i couldnt sleep last night.. haha oh yes have to keep this entry short coz i'm busy chatting now.. yeps. bye babes and dudes~~~~

:(

What's wrong with me? I need to learn how to control my temper. When two people are together, they really need lots of patience and be accomodating. But i think i lack of both. Sorry i'm just pissed. Leave me Alone. :(

:)

Arrgh just now the post that i typed halfway was deleted.. @Q&^@@#^%$@#!^& yeps so i have to start all over again.. so i met dear dear at holland today for dinner at SUBWAY (slurpz) and we were early so we decided to walk around first before eating. just when we crossed the road, we saw this super duper old man pushing a suspiciously-looking-like cold-storage trolley and he was like so super frail. dont know why suddenly i turned over to him and ask him (as in dear dear not the old man yep) if we should help him.. he had his address printed on a piece of paper stuck to the trolley so initially we wanted to just help him across the road coz he said he wanted to go home but if we just left him at the traffic light there like super evil so end up we send him right back to his home. my heart just went out to him lor i mean he is so old and frail and living all alone. sigh i wonder if i'll be lidat when i grow old already.. all alone and waiting to die in a one room flat. the living condition isn't good and it was my first time doing such stuff.. sigh i really pity him. so i was telling dear dear if we should engage in some sort of volunteer work together? i mean we can do meaningful stuff together and most importantly, spend time together? haha one stone kill 2 birds.. but the both of us must have the time and commitment first? lolz we left H.V early coz i tot i could come home and eat my econs notes but apparently my heart fly away already and i'm feeling lazy to study. maybe now i should get going? yeps. i should. ciao peeps. :))

what's my purpose in life?

Today i was on board 970 on my way to dearie's place then suddenly this thought struck me. " why are we born when we have to die eventually?" then i tot that i had actually read this book " the purpose-driven life" but the thing is that i hadnt found the purpose in my life,that is. And i know that the only way i will know why the heck i was born is through accepting Christ but the time is still not ripe yet. seriously. i know many of my friends out there are hoping that i've already accepted Christ but Queen.. yeps u should know la. Some of the ppl out there also tell me that i shouldnt let my mum be the deciding factor of me accepting Christ but i really lack the courage to face the music when she knows that i've accepted Christ.. i think she'll kill me and she will not let me go out ANYMORE.. that's the end man.. seriously. So now i think the best solution for me is to wait till i'm 21 when i'm an adult already and i'll make this important decision promptly. :)) i guess this is not a wise decision to make coz i shouldnt put this issue off anymore but i guess it's the best for the time being and i hope u peeps will understand too. so i was thinking about all this on board 970 then i saw this european lady carrying a cambodia looking kid. i guess she has adopted him? then i tot of how fortunate i am to be born in singapore where i'm given good food and education so i was thinking again if i should adopt a kid next time. True i may have my own kids(hopefully) but i may still want to adopt another not-so-fortunate- kid and let s/he have the privilege the other kids in his/her country dont? haha think what i'm blogging today a bit profound. but yah la this is all what i think from the bottom of my heart. :)) Today's IBM class was quite alright.. boring though but i actually laughed at DOM's lame jokes.. he was practically reading all the stuff from the notes and making weird noises hoping to catch our attention and he is really DOM lor.. he was like telling all the skimpily-dressed girls who came like so damn late to walk down the stairs slowly and not to fall down me and vivien were like -_-'' .. sucks man. woa lao so tiko.. and it's super obvious that he's bias against those who dress normally like me and vivien and will give extra care to those that wear skimpily and show off their ASSETS. damns but aiyah i dont care also.. haha i'm in school for a purpose.. not to fashion parade. haha.. yeps. k la blogged long enough for today already. Prince is back and IMMEDIATELY needs to hog the com so i have to "xiam" already.. haha bye peeps~ outta here :))))))

:/

This is getting bad.. i'm supposed to be studying for socio test tmr but my heart is not there.. shucks man.. i was doing well in the morning but i decided to give myself a break and so i was reading my diary which i used to keep from sec 3- sec 4 and after that i slacked already.. i really must pia later.. cannot slack anymore *slap myself* shit man.. i'm like so distracted over what? i also dont know la.. but just that my mind wondering off when i'm studying and i cant really absorb the stuff also. partly i think coz it's just super DRY and BORING. yep so yah la i must force myself to stay focused and after tmr everything would be back to normal.. yep. fri i'm gg for an encounter camp till sun hope i would gain an insight and yep. it's BACK to the books again! i miss u dear dear.. :/

:(

Dear dear.. i'm so sorry that such a terrible thing had to happen. U must be strong ya.. for the time being let's put all our plans aside first. Wait till everything is settled le then we discuss again okie? I will always be by you if u need anything yepp? Just want to let u know that i care ya.. Take care and I love you :))

(:

Oh man.. i got my long awaited wish come true today. Not to get into NTU but to teach at pei hwa primary.. all the squeeky high pitched voices---> made me have headache but i simply enjoyed myself.. tmr during DOM's break time, pei hwa called me up and asked me if i could go down for class to relief for pri 1 and 2 class.. i dint want to miss another chance so i decided to go for it! yeps.. haha.. i was so excited that i finally had a chance to do down there to teach.. i was waiting to see all the chubby faces and i wasnt disappointed.. haha just that i dint get to pinch their faces.. haha if not wait i kena complained then can say BYEBYE le.. haha so yeps i relief-ed from 12-630 and after that i was like super shagged le but still had to meet jr and tay at city hall to discuss tuition stuff.. my head was throbbing like mad le but i felt better just by being in company with them. yeps. but still it's still hurting and it's all from the squeeky kids.. they are really super cute " teacher, teacher, can i drink water?'', " teacher, teacher, can i go toilet?", "teacher,teacher, can i go over to my friend's table?" haha so cute.. all these small little acts really reflected their innocence and how much i really love them.. haha i think this is the best present i received this year besides the WONDERFUL card dearie made. yeps haha i just took 2 panadol to suppress the headache but apparently it's not getting any better coz my head is still throbbing arrgh! sigh.. MON! haha our 2nd month and i got relief classes too.. muhahha $_$ so happy.. cant wait for mon to come. yep yep that's all peeps.. i feeling a little stoned already... Bye~~~~~~~~~

woW~

*sings* Happy birthday to me.. Happy birthday to me.. Happy birthday to Royal Meeeeee... Happy birthday tooooo Meeeeeeee *applause*
haha think i'm not so alright.. anyways yest i celebrated my ROyal 19th birthday and it would be the last year i can count my age starting with number '1'.. sigh next year will be 20 le.. getting real OLD.. haha yeps yeps but i think this year's celebration was the BEST i ever had.. haha because of my royalty *shy*, celebration for princess peh's birthday actually started on the 2nd of Nov.. haha i went to meet dearie for dinner at Fish and Co..(the glass house as vivien calls it) yeps and he bought me a bouquet of Daisies.. haha so nice.. i thought that was the end and he also bought me a care bear(the one with the four leaf clover on the stomach de) and famous amos.. (slurpz) that's not the HIGHLIGHT.. haha the highlight was the card he made.. oh man.. it's really SUPER DUPER nice.. i was so super touched by it.. he used little bulbs to make a heart shape and it was connected to batteries so when i on it the heart would light up.. oh man.. i cant believe he could actually do it. So proud of him!!!!! and so proud of myself to have such a BOYFRIEND.. haha tsk..tsk.. peeps reading this must be so jealous of me.. *shy* haha if got chance ask me to show u the MASTERPIECE.. lolz.. it's really B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!!!!!! haha.. yeps so we headed home after that and i washed up.. least did i expect evofus + kelvin were ambushing at west mall already waiting for me to come home and gave me a surprise! haha they were all at my place when i was watching my Jay Chou's MTV.. lolz i was really really surprised and touched too.. haha but the sad thing was that they only stayed on for a while and we dint really have a good chance to chat about stuff.. yeps got lots to share but NO!!!! time.. arrgh.. haha they left at about 1230 and i cleared up and zzzz.. haha the next morning.. i was awaken by dearie's phone call and he called at around 9.30 and i was shocked coz i slept so well that i dint realise that it was so late already and we were meeting at clementi at 11 to go picniking at West Coast.. haha i've never gone picniking before.. maybe except cum sun tanning but yest we were like intensive picniking.. ok. whatever -_-'' the weather was super good.. not very sunny but it started to drizzle a little but it couldnt dampen our mood.. haha dearie bought me a slice of BLACK FOREST CAKE (are u reading this TAY?!) haha but i think the cream melted under the intense heat and it was quite sick but still.. Greedy me ate the cake.. haha yeps there were many ppl flying kites.. and were.. hmmm CoOL but we dint know how to fly a kite so we played frisbee instead.. haha it was quite a day.. luckily we brought lots of fruits or else i think we would have died of dehydration.. lolz i went home around 5+ coz at night i had BBQ with the Royal family mah.. lolz we ate and ate and ate just like PIGS.. lolz *snort* finally got to rest at around 9+ almost died.. what a hectic day.. today is not good too.. i had IBM class in the morning then at night i have socio from 6-930 @_@ maybe i'll fall asleep in the lect.. sigh.. but miraculously i paid attention in class today.. haha i knew what DOM was talking about and maybe i did laugh at some of his lame jokes... haha yeps so now i'm one year older i must be more Matured.. haha lolz.. that's all folks got any other stuff when we meet up i'll update ya okie? take care peeps! Miss u all :))

I really feel very blessed when i have my friends with me. serious.. all my peeps reading this.. some of u guys messaged me and asked me what i want for my ROYAL birthday but i told your that i dont know what i want.. and apparently the first response that you guys gave me was to ask me not to act shy.. but P-L-E-A-S-E since when has Shuan Shuan will act shy one?? lolz.. yeps so i really mean it when i said that i dont know what i want okie.. hehe $_$ maybe cold hard cash? hehe.. what i really want is some time for us to gather, sit around the talk. since we have not been doing that for a long long long long time le.. :)) alright? Also, what i wanted most in my life.. my dearie.. is there for me.. what more can i ask for? haha but i still welcome MONEY$$$$$.. lolz haha i just read a email from my friend i guess it's really true.. "You cant make someone love you. All you can do is to be someone who can be loved,the rest is up to the person to realise your worth." woW it's like so inspirational.. lolz gotta go.. dearie just called to say that his class is cancelled so we're going out.. WoO hoO! byebye :P

:))

long long time never blog le.. i'm really lazy these days.. please forgive me my loyal readers (that is if i have any) yeps.. today's officially the last day of my tuition!!! wahaha finally all the torture is over.. but i guess maybe i'm gg to miss it just a little.. hehe oh yes.. something to mention.. just now dearie gave me a BIG surprise.. and the surprise is HIM.. hehe apparently i called him after jogging and he was already at my house the bus stop but he lied! he said he gg to buy something for his sis.. then when i left my place for tuition he suddenly appeared from nowhere and surprised me and send me to tuition.. i felt quite bad la coz he came all the way down from home and he bought me kinder surprise also.. tee hee but we only spend like 10 mins together? arrgh but the surprise was.. Heart warming.. really it brought a smile to my face and i suddenly felt that tuition wasnt that bad afterall.. haha :)) thanks dear dear i really appreciate that.. heez.. oh yes.. evofus when u guys want a gathering huh?? keep me updated if any ya? i miss u guys..

:))

Long long time never had chance to blog already coz handsome PRINCE is always hogging the com playing his games even when he's having exams.. i wonder if he'll do well and if he do well i think he is really God. serious.. hai WTH today's sociology class was alright only only managed to adsorb like maybe say 70% of what she taught and i got back my test paper.. wasnt as good as i had anticipated la.. i only got 19.5/30 but the passing grade is like 11/30 but still meiqi got 24/30!!!! oh man and she's the highest in the whole lect.. can u believe it?? haha maybe i'm lazy la that's why.. oh yeah yest caught european giggolo with dearie and it was quite funny.. i felt quite bad coz dearie wasnt feeling well and kept coughing but BAD me had wanted to go watch the movie.. hai sorry dear and the worse thing he had to send me home :( something embarrassing happened in the theatre though.. haha at the starting of the show.. A couple came and started looking for their seats..
US: -stares-
Me: i was thinking to myself coz beside had only 1 seat left
Them: excuse me i think you guys are sitting at our place?
Act smart Me: Are u sure? this is G20 RIGHT?
Them:NO?! This is C20!!!!!!
US: Sorry Sorry..
So we stood up and went to look for G20 hai.. when we almost settled down..
He: Did u take the drink??
Me: Shit! It's still there.. -_-''
We just cant watch in peace. but the remaining part of the show was rather peaceful la.. the show was rather R-rated.. haha though it's written M-18 haha maybe i'm not open-minded enough.. yawn so sian just got back from jogging havent even bathe yet and later i still got tuition.. arrgh i dread going for tuition now.. it's so SHIT. i dont know la.. but i practically drag myself to tuition week after week.. maybe i should get an attachment somewhere part time de and not so sian.. i cannot stand it.. that girl show me attitude for a spastic $170 i have to tolerate all her nonsense! hai see how ba.. everything else is going well for me at least for the time being and i thank GOD for that.. the fever's gone but i'm having slight flu but that's no big deal also.. haha i get flu every now and then~ thanks all for ya concern. i'm back to my health le so can continue my intensive exercise.. haha but my toe huh.. tsk..tskk. Ouch! :/ haha next week gotta go down queensway get new sports shoe and my long awaited Jay Chou's inspired blouse! haha so nice.. hopefully i can fit in.. lolz that's all folks.. byebye :))

i'm so upset :(

sad..sad..sad.. so sad and disappointed with myself.. WHY? why must i be plagued by this fever bug? i cant go anywhere.. have to stay at home and worse of all.. cant spend time with Dearie.. i'm feeling really upset. shit. just came back from the doc again.. i've been there 4 times already for the past week.. arrgh and the freaking fever just wont subside.. just now at the doc my fever hit the highest dot 38.9 WOO HOO! and i was like shivering the clinic but now back home i'm fine already leh.. i want to get well.. really! i stayed at home the whole of today hoping to have more rest so tmr can go out but in the end? still the same! then at least i should have gone out today so that arrgh.. i dont know also la.. i think everyone's sick and tired of me telling them that i'm still having fever and boring everyone with my long grandmother stories. my plans for tmr and fri all thwarted! !@#%^*%$ i'm really upset now. serious. why cant we be like other couples go out watch movie, shop, eat,chill and spend time together?? all i can do is rest at home and u come over visit me for a few hours. this is not the courtship both of us wanted right? haiz i dont know.. :X i dont know if u have made the right choice choosing to be with me coz i dont know if i can be the girlfriend that u want and it's like ever since we got together we never really go chill le.. maybe partly coz of my fever la.. but haiz.. whatever it is i just hope that all this shit will be over soon.. i'm very sick of fighting this fever and i'm sure u are sick of me telling u all the shit i have to go through also.. fri would be the lst month we are together ler.. supposedly going out to have celebration but now the situation looks gloomy and this is B-A-D. real bad. i dont want to think about it ler.. i want to cry! arrgh i'm so disappointed with myself. damns. is this retribution? let me think about it. -_-''

today is the last day ler..

Hi all, i went to the doc again today afternoon coz i was still running a fever.. it was 38.0 when the doc measured me but my body dint feel hot. i was expecting a blood test today but he dint give me one, instead, he gave me an injection! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOouch!!!!!!! it's been a million years ago since i got an injection.. haha--> on my butt somemore.. woa lao made my bootie feel so sore for like a few hours.. he said that if the fever is still there tmr morning then i really have to go back do blood test and the situation seems to be that IT'S REALLY DENGUE :-X my temp has been fluctuating and i was still so hopeful yesterday that my temp has gone down to 36.7 or whatever it is.. arrgh.. hope that freaking mosquito which had bitten has already gotten smashed by someone or at least have died of diabetes coz i'm too sweet.. *shy* haha.. i've been staying at home for the past 2 days and the !@#$%^ fever still hasnt gone away.. i've been drinking a lot of water and resting A LOT. almost like a pig liao.. *snort* i'm so afraid that i cant catch up with my schoolwork too.. hai.. hope i'll be fine tmr coz today is really the last day for the fever to go away ler.. i feel very cooling now but who knows?! May God have mercy on me :)) Outta here~

close brush with death..

:/ my high fever for 4 days has finally subsided or izit i had thought so only?? just now i measured my temp and it was 36.7.. hopefully it will stay the way it is.. just now i was taking afternoon nap coz i ate the fever medicine and Queen came to check on me and asked me why my whole body was feeling so cold. but i was sweating like mad.. my whole shirt was drenched in sweat leh.. then i woke up feeling cold?! arrgh my body's like becoming hot and cold, hot and later cold again.. last night i was lying on bed when suddenly i had chest pain. it was like having a thousand needles poking into my chest and i was so scared that i cried. i was so scared that the next morning i wouldnt be able to wake up.. and i would just die in my sleep. :(( the kind of fear is no one would understand unless he or she has gone through it before.. i was so scared that i called Dearie and was talking to him and crying at the same time.. guess i really scared him but i felt so helpless at that time and Queen was like couldnt really be bothered with me.. coz she tot i was faking sickness.. but why would i want to do that? hai i dont know la i just want to get well and get out of the ''we can take of each other'' relationship. Dear Dear u should know right.. hehe that's all la OUtta Here~ To all: please pray for my recovery :)) Thankies

check this out!

What are the signs and symptoms of dengue fever and dengue hemorrhagic fever?

Dengue fever usually starts suddenly with a high fever, rash, severe headache, pain behind the eyes, and muscle and joint pain. The severity of the joint pain has given dengue the name "breakbone fever." Nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite are common. A rash usually appears 3 to 4 days after the start of the fever. The illness can last up to 10 days, but complete recovery can take as long as a month. Older children and adults are usually sicker than young children.

Most dengue infections result in relatively mild illness, but some can progress to dengue hemorrhagic fever. With dengue hemorrhagic fever, the blood vessels start to leak and cause bleeding from the nose, mouth, and gums. Bruising can be a sign of bleeding inside the body. Without prompt treatment, the blood vessels can collapse, causing shock (dengue shock syndrome). Dengue hemorrhagic fever is fatal in about 5 percent of cases, mostly among children and young adults.---> i dont want to die this way.. :((

BLOGGER's back!

haha finally.. i can type normally ler.. blogger's back.. hehe but i'm sick.. oh man.. and there's a possibility that it's dengue.. FREAK. oh man.. i'm having a fever 38.2 and body ache but surprisingly no FLU.. *cries* how sia.. what if it's really dengue?? argh.. but Dearie was sweet enough.. he had chalet till today and he rushed down straight after checking out, to SIM to pick me up from school then we had lunch at bukit timah market before heading back home. by the time i reached home, my fever was already 38.1.. *applause* how cool.. and the worse thing? i dont feel weak leh.. just that my face and body sometimes cold and then hot again.. :( after chilling at my place for a while dearie suggested that i should really go see a doctor coz my fever was like not subsiding.. so we took a bus now to see the doc and the doc couldnt even prescribe anything.. he said we have to monitor and see if the temperature drops after 3 days or more if not IT'S REALLY DENGUE.. initially i was still joking around that it would be dengue but now.. seriously i'm scared. i'm so scared of dying, losing my loved ones forever.. one of the symptoms of dengue is bone pain and the 'GOOD' news, my left ankle hurts now.. i dont know leh.. i'm so so so scared of kena-ing dengue.. what if i die in the hospital? i cant bear to leave my family and friends and most importantly DEARIE.. *boo hoo* :(( i was sponging myself just now while resting hoping that the temp would at least drop to 37. something.. but it dint it went down to 38.0 how nice.. peeps if i really die. get me a purple coffin. i dont wanna look on the dark side but there's is this possibility right? but maybe u guys could PRAY really hard for my recovery? just want to make a note here.. Dearie.. thanks for everything today.. thanks for feeling tired because of me, thanks for rushing down and being worried for me. i will take care of myself. This is the first time i'm sick and feel so cared for. All the credit goes to you! :)) hehe yeps.. thats all.. love ya Dearie :*

:(

i dont know.. maybe it's just me.. i dint mean to make u worry but when i couldnt reach somebody on their mobile i would be pissed. really. fine u told me that u went swimming and so i couldnt reach u i should be understanding and u are at the chalet enjoying yourself and i shouldnt be disturbing u.. right?? i tried to put myself in your shoes so i know.. but somehow this time i find it rather difficult for me to do so.. :( just now i was so sick (i dont know the reason for it) and i so much wanted to talk to u but u just werent there for me. i think i'm just being unreasonable. leave me alone. now i realise that i'm not such a easy person to be with. *sigh* feeling so sick yet still have to go for tuition later. it's not easy to do all these alone and i want and need u to be there for me.. Will you?

argh..

blogger is still down for my com.. damns whats wrong sia.. today's wed which means no school day for me so i slept till 10 in the morning.. hehe later meeting fishy to go holland to chill and chat up a bit. havent been meeting up with sm for a long long long long time ler. this sun we arrange to go for the hockey training together, hopefully nothing goes wrong and we can go for it.. argh. been postponing it for many many weeks liao.. lost touch of playing also.. i did 4km yesterday and my whole body was aching like siao but today feeling better already.. yeps.. on friday gonna meet up with the JJ peeps and bringing dearie along.. haha and apparently i got teased by them.. haha but nvm next time when it's their turn, they're gonna get it! haha.. that's all for today.. nothing much to blog also.. outta here~

what's wrong??

i really think that there is something wrong with blogger.. what the heck!!!! i cant change the colour of the text and the space to type is like so freaking small.. argh shant rabble on on that.. hehe.. today went out with Dearie on our first official date to TOWN! haha.. BUDGET date.. tee hee.. we went Marche at first for lunch coz i was craving for SAMBAL STINGRAY.. haha then we ordered rosti, pizza and crepes.. so much for the two of us but *burp* we managed to finish everything.. tsk..tsk.. must go jog more liao.. lolz yeps then after that we hang around heeren for a while i went to get my hairbands and we decided to proceed on with the journey to go check out squash rackets.. but i wanted to drop by paragon first to shop around.. then when we were about to leave, it started raining.. and that started off our BUDGET time out.. lolz i suggested going to the basement level of paragon coz Dearie was feeling thirsty so i was thinking maybe we can go get drinks downstairs.. he wanted to get some juice from starbucks but Cheapskate me decided that we should just go to the liberty market or whatever supermarket that was, to get cheapo drinks. hehe after that we decided to go use the kodak machine that can print pictures de so print out the pics we took earlier on and we printed.. and printed.. and printed.. and printed.. altogether we spent $5 on printed the same picture.. haiz just that it's of different frames and sizes.. haha but it was fun and just that my legs ache now.. lolz we spent around an hour just printing those pics and giggling like small kids but i had a lot of fun. really.. haha :)) after spending an hour or so in front of the machine, the rain finally stopped.. haha so we decided to go taka and check out the rackets at stadium after checking out finding them TOO EXPENSIVE, haha we went to the basement level (again!) of taka and Cheapo me suggested go test out the free stuff behind.. haha how greedy and cheapskate.. but it was fun. really i so long nv go chill out with him le so this was like WOW! haha yeps.. though my legs are aching now.. i also dont know why..for ppl who can run 4km, legs also wont break but shop whole day legs want to break liao.. oh yes another point i want to make.. at TAKA there, there's this "mei wu" shop that sells all kinds of preserved fruits but dont ever go there and buy raisins.. i got cheated man *sniff* there's another stall further up that sells the same stuff for a cheaper price for MORE too!!!!! argh felt so heart pain when i knew i got cheated coz the $$ i'm spending now is what i've earned de leh.. Queen also never give me $$ lor.. haiz yeps yeps. i shant let this kill my happy mood.. lolz that's all folks.. OUTTA HERE~ peace.

blogger looks suspiciously virus-fied

haha.. long time since i blogged then when i'm here.. the posting section looks suspiciously virus-fied.. lolz this few days havent got time to blog coz busy studying for socio test TODAY.. hehe the test was quite alright la.. i managed to do hopefully can pass.. heh.. yeps.. today's also the last day of Dearie's exams.. finally we can go out and CHILL.. sooooo long never go town ler.. my buying list is getting longer.. haha rights.. nothing much that's all for now maybe i'll be back again tonight.. OUTTA HERE~
P.S Indeed it is virus-fied.. i cant change the freaking colour of the text.. :((

tiring day..

Today i had IBM class and it was quite a miracle that i actually listened in class.. and PAID ATTENTION to what DOM had to say (btw DOM = Dirty old man) haha so i was paying attention.. maybe it's the power of love.. haha not for DOM la.. heh.. U should know who huh.. yeps yeps. so today's lect was good. After school i came home went downstairs to swim and the water was icy cold even though the sun was very sunny.. WTH.. hehe after that actually wanted to revise de but i was too hungry and tired to do anything.. i only had delicious raisins for lunch. how nice :(( dinner i ate at sakae sushi with evofus but dinner was good. think i'll have nightmare tonight.. still feeling full.. hehe.. but NICE~ slurpz.. just now was on the phone with Dearie and he was feeling so excited about the planes and stuff and he was telling me but i dont really understand what he is talking about.. :(( so sad.. maybe i'm a little slow and retarded.. yah la but i'll try to understand okie.. i enjoy listening to u sharing your stuff with me. really. yeps. that's all for today.. OUTTA HERE` miss yer

bo liao

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.You tend to blend into your surroundings.Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life...And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I just love to do these TESTS.. haha

check this out

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

How Are You In Love?

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

heya

Peeps.. u guys can now tag me. haha.. leave me a message ya. take care~

i miss you..

Today's Econs class was terrible.. i wasnt really distracted but i could not really focus in class.. so ended up i dint really listen to what the lecturer was explaining.. gotta go do some reading up later on.. haiz.. I miss you leh.. even worse everytime after we talk on the phone.. haiz coz it's like so near yet so far.. u know that kind of feelings? hmm... but i think it's okay la.. we may be physically apart but what matters most is that we are mentally together. Easy to say, Difficult to Do.. yeps just a short one today.. Christina coming over to ask Hairdresser Peh to help her Dye her hair.. haha.. Outta here~ miss yer

:))

It's been only 3 days since i last blogged.. and i feel that it's like quite long huh.. haha yeps.. now too "xing fu" already become very lazy to blog but for the sake of my loyal readers i will blog.. YEs i will.. haa.. today went to school for Maths.. quite alright la.. i mean partial differentiation and stuff.. they may be new stuff but at least i'm learning something not like in IBM class dont even know what the idoit lecturer is talking about.. And !!!!!!! Dearie can help this Maths "pro" with my maths.. guess i'm not such a qualitative person.. not quantitative also.. damns. i'm nowhere. hah.. but nvm la.. i think sooner or later i will find something that i'm good in.. maybe CHINESE?! haha but come to think of it i would rather do chinese, something that i'm good in rather that writing CHIME stuff for sociology and IBM. gosh but do i have a choice? haha.. oh yes.. Dearie, dont worry about not spending enough time with me coz i really dont mind since u are having exams now right? i dont wanna affect your study momentum.. IF not i'll expose u.. haha your 2 Weird but cute things.. YOu should know what right? heh.. next time can blackmail u ar.. muhaha! yeps.. that's all la a short one today.. the weather is making feel like a pig so cold and cosy.. hehe gg to take a short nap before going to Jog with Vivien later and TUITION tonight.. argh` I Love You Dearie.. :-*

:))

Went for JJ's mid-autumn festival today.. wasnt as good as what i had expected.. as in like no other peeps bothered to go back except evofus + kelvin. yeps. haha but we dint do much also there.. partly i had to leave early to meet Dearie.. then go there we only chit chat for a while, ate the durian moon cake until super full and played some very very very exciting game that got me so scared.. haha yeps after that met Dearie at westmall for dinner.. and.. tsk..tsk.. YOU tricked me.. heh guess i was really dumb not to realise that in the plastic bag was a flower.. and i was quite sad when YOU sent me away to buy YOU the hair wax.. but nevertheless, i still love YOU very very very much. :)) hehe.. YOU must work hard for your exams okie.. Jia you! Jia you! sometimes i wished that what i am studying has got some relevance to what you're doing then at least we can discuss YOU know.. hehe.. but nvm.. i give YOU moral support alright.. heh.. oh yes, i was telling YOU about my heart being very pain as in "xing tong" whenever i'm in lecture coz why? i was thinking about YOU :(( or maybe just because i have a weak heart.. haha dont know la but the feelings is like my heart kena squashed lidat and very pain but the pain is like only for a short while only lei.. But it comes everytime i think of YOU or when i miss YOU. maybe i'm sick.. haiz dont know la.. but for now i know i shouldnt think so much. just be your girlfriend wholeheartedly and love YOU like i love myself. heh yeps that's all. i'm feeling tired already.. going to bed soon. I love you Aloy~

love is definitely in the AIR!

heya guys.. dint realise that my previous entries were very depressing.. lolz but i'm happy la. serious. Now that i have him. :) Thanks Aloysius. i love u lots. muack*

:/

Feel that my heart is weighing me down.. Today's Wed which means no school day but i feel so weighed down dont know about what also.. haiz.. this morning, Pei Hwa Pri called me up to do relief teaching and today they wanted me down.. it has always been my Dream to go there to teach coz i know a few little kiddies there from Kumon how i miss them.. but i dint go down coz of YOU. yes YOU. again. by this time u should know very well who u are.. maybe u will think that u dint ask me to go down today and it's that i myself want to go see you.. yah la when i heard that you were sick i had this sick feeling in my stomach.. haha felt like puking also.. :P somemore u told me u feeling giddy and want puke cannot puke.. i've gone through that and i know how sick it feels lor.. so yep yep this time i'm using my heart not my mind to think ler.. so i made up my mind to reject Pei Hwa when the lady called me.. haiz hope this hasnt been a wrong decision coz can u imagine the amount of $$$$$$$$$$ i can earn when i go down? haha until next tues lor.. it's like 5 days X $65 = $325 ka ching! ka CHing! $_$ haha after i've calculated a bit regretful now.. but it's ok la.. to me, you are more important.. heh.. money only mah, can always earn them again right? hehe.. :) yesterday i slacked the whole day.. sucks.. i blogged saying that i wanted to go revise econs and i dint.. this morning also.. woke up and practised the piano for one and a half hour then slacked.watch tv, come online.. i know i shouldnt be doing all this but somehow i cant help it leh.. no motivation to study.. all my NTU peeps are busy with projects when it's their holiday.. so sian also.. OK i make up my mind liao.. tonight i must surely MUG. I must, I HAVE TO! argh.. but my heart is not there la.. everytime i'm reading the notes i feel that i'm just reading the english sentence and not really understanding the meaning i'm supposed to understand. damns ashamed to say, when reading the bible also! yesterday was still quite ok.. the day before was terrible.. and i even had to close it halfway to prepare my heart for GOD. how sinful can i be. *slap myself* haiz sometimes i worry if i'm suffering from amnesia or what lei.. i keep forgetting stuff leh.. simple stuff like taking what bus to valley point i can also keep forgetting.. not say i'm doing it on purpose but i really cannot remember.. yesterday also.. i took out a shirt from the cupboard wanting to change into it.. then suddenly i forgot where i put it ler.. End up i dint even take it out from the cupboard?! oh man.. is this some kind of symptoms? haiz not once liao lor.. but repetitive incidents. and it really sp00ks me.. izit coz i havent been paying much attention when i'm doing that thing that's why i seem so distracted or izit Illness? haiz.. dont know la.. tonight meeting JAs to get my durian mooncakes! SLURRpz.. greedy me.. lolz.. today is indeed rest day for me.. had been exercising for the past few days and my leg muscles are aching.. haha dont know why leh.. quite weird but thurs going to jog with vivien again.. Now, i'm troubled by something. SM wants to go for tornadoes hockey club training on SUn. but Sun usually i go for service.. but if she goes for training on Sun this would mean that no one would accompany me to training on SAt and i'll be the only GIRL there.. i dont want that.. so actually i've come up with a plan. maybe TT u should take over my P5 class on Sat then i can go service with JR until 7 then i rush down for tuition?? how? this is what i think only.. nothing's been confirmed yet. actually i would prefer to go down for training on SAt but come to think of it.. it seems like the weather likes to rain on SAt afternoon then SUn morning the weather is always Good. :) how? Aloysius said that i should put GOD in priority. Yes but if i go for service on Sat i'm also doing it right? Or am i not.. and i shouldnt go find another church to attend if not i'll be church-hopping.. but coz FCBC gonna move to EXpO in december.. haiz i enjoy listening to the Pastors Preaching but the fact that i have to travel so far.. it's not worth the time.. at least this is what i feel.. haiz dont know la.. so many things waiting for me to make decisions and so little memory for me to tap on. what the heck. :(

is LOVE in the air?

Getting lazier and lazier these days.. i mean in the case of blogging.. haha many things wanna share but just too lazy to come blog.. haha today's econs class was fabulous.. i actually understood every single thing the lecturer explained for WHOLE THREE hours.. and i had secretly hoped that the lecturer wouldnt end so soon coz i dint really want to break the study momentum lei.. haha but all good things would come to an end.. lolz yep yep later i must go back and revise again if not wait forget what he taught then i can GTH already.. haha yep yep.. it's very RARE that i can pay attention for the whole 3 hours lor.. like last week for example, i was dozing off la so tired that i couldnt pay attention. so what aloysius said is true. if i had came online yesterday i would be very tired and today go school sure shag de but i was reading mag and the bible till 1230 last night but this morning wake up still feeling fresh.. as in like dont have that kind of dreading to come school feeling.. :)) haha izit because of last night? u know? lolz.. but it was a magical night. serious. thanks man. :) so i came back from school, had lunch with viven and sian lye at bukit timah market had my all-time favourite FISH SOUP.. haha slurpz. very nice.. haha then i came home to swim and BLOG haha finally.. this whole week gonna be real busy.. everyday is PACKED.. PACKED..PACKED.. gatherings, meetings, everything is just so endless and awaiting for me to accomplish.. haiz but i rather lead a busy life then to waste my time away.. isnt it?? hmm.. hehe Friday going back to JJ for Mooncake Festival celebration.. hope it would be nice and not eyeball-rolling session.. haha dont think so since evofus will be there! haha alrights la.. i shall stop here ler.. love ya guys~

finally`

Finally!!!!! the intensive camp is over.. haha after such long preparations and stuff.. all the compilation of notes and all the endless meetings.. finally.. say BYEBYE.. :P haha but i really wonder if jr is still going to do back the same stuff AGAIN next year.. lolz.. but i enjoyed myself la.. hehe today i actually screamed at the top of my voice at kenneth. and he still got the cheek to say "Miss Peh, why u so fierce huh" i was like -.-'' if i'm not fierce how they heck can the rest hear me when he was talking at the top of his lungs?! damns. but yah la we played games towards the end of the class and i guess the kids and myself did enjoyed ourselves.. haha finally everything is over. and.. and.. this gives me more time to think of HIM. when he is not. haiz.. i also dont know la.. was talking to Jas a few days ago and she concluded for me that YES. he just wants to be friends. how nice. though it is the truth. it hurts u know.. and i'm feeling real hurt now. u know that kind of feelings where he makes u feel real loved and cared for and suddenly,everything's just gone. why? if u had intended to make me feel hurt. u have gotten what u desired.. but i think u are not that evil anyway but really.thanks. u've hurt me. not u la Jas.. dont be confused.. lolz haha.. thanks for telling me the truth.i need the truth to wake myself up. thanks for waking me up so i wont be living in my fantasy world. haha. thanks for opening my heart and mind to other guys.. (like as if i am) muhaha u asked if we(as in me and him) want to bring our relationship to another level but u know this kind of thing, one hand cannot clap know.. haiz really la.. i should just leave all this in God's hands. i really dont know what i can do and what i should do. should i just leave everything as it is? but it's really eating me up and i hate this kind of feeling.. haiz dont know la.. anyways went swimming alone today.. downstairs only mah.. vivien actually wanted to come over to study de but i woke up at 11 and called her then she said she gg over to library to zap econs notes and what the heck was i sleeping at home? haha aiyah.. but at least.. i finished my sociology assignment.. woa lao i did that so like so damn long lor.. but like never ending de leh.. but *phew* managed to do it all today. at least one thing to be happy about. tmr gg jogging again.. 2.4km here i come. haha come to think of it,it's quite sad lor.. when i'm having holis everyone's like so super busy.. dint even contact or arrange to go out.. i just cant be bothered also.. haiya.. that's life la.. yep yep and YOU. yes YOU if u know i'm referring to YOU earlier on. drop me a note can? i really want to know. please. outta here!!!

:/

when a guy and a girl becomes good friends, are they really just that? what if either party falls in love with the other party? i'm just saying IF. can both parties really forsee the fact that they are of different genders? haiya.. i also dont know la. damns so confusing. :-X check out www.v-0f-us.blogspot.com There i speak more logic.. haha i cant be bothered to blog the same stuff again..

sick..

oh man.. i'm sick again.. last week i was also sick but tot i had recovered ler but sat i was caught in the rain again so revert back again. went to the doc and he just gave a a few medication that made me feel so drowsy and grogy de.. what the heck lor.. feeling so sleepy and my mind is so not clear. dont even know what i'm doing.. haiz supposed to be doing sociology de but dont know what the heck am i doing online blogging.. haiz cant resist all the temptations at home so i must really go out to study but now everyone has class and no one can pei2 wo3.. :`( haiz but feeling so sick now think go out study i'll also fall asleep lor.. sigh why must i fall sick at the wrong time? during the holis i must be sick. damns. but see all my friends around me all so stressed lidat then i'm still slacking my life away.. Ey.. think i dont know what i am talking about ler need to go off liao i from yest until now havent bathe.. haha so hygienic right.. lolz too tired and felt so knocked out lor.. no energy. ciaoz.. love all~

ZZZZzzz

back home early from school.. yawn went swimming and supposed to go do stuff for the camp next week.. think i'm doomed.. havent started on anything yet.. oh man. haiz ok la bye~ just a short one.

:))

Sick but still going on strong.. muhaha today really felt very sick.. dont know what's wrong with me also.. throat's like burning.. and nose cant stop sneezing.. haiz S-U-C-K-Y and i felt so guilty coz i wasnt paying attention during econs lect today.. no wonder i couldnt understand a bit.. i was too tired and kept dozing off.. haiz what the heck lor.. i tried to keep myself awake but to no avail lor.. after school my sick partner- ms vivien tan came over to my house wanted to study. but i was too sleepy so i took a short nap and not long, she fell asleep also. haiz so studying in my room not very effective. dint exercise also today.. felt so guilty damns. tmr.. tmr.. it shall be exercise day.. after taking the afternoon nap.. i like so long never take afternoon naps ler.. haha but still slept like a P-I-G.. muhaha yeah at night went over to holland v to study with aloy wanted to chill de but very sian also.. got so much things waiting for me to complete.. attempted to do maths but kept getting stuck.. haiz so vexed.. if i find out is that R MEENA give the wrong question i'm gg to slap her. serious. make me waste so much time trying to figure out how to do then in the end if the question is wrong !@#$%^&* she's gg to get it! haha yah la tmr gg to read through the econs notes again.. think i really have to start revising my work ler if not i cant catch up.. haiz yep yep.. that's about all for today.. gg to sleep soon with my burning throat. if u wanna hear a sexy male/female voice gimme a call! muhahahahaha 999 u can get me :)) ciaoz`

tired but happy.

Went for Aloy and jr's church's yearly event on both fri and sun the SpoOk show.. haha was quite enjoyable la.. and the happy thing is that i've made my decision ler.. hmm..just that i've yet to carry it out coz of QUEEN la.. u guys should know right? haha i know jr cant wait for me to convert but i really need time u know.. haha yep yep but anyways that day after watching with my JJ peeps the pigs suggested to go have supper when i'm on strict diet!haha but i dint eat anything la only drank water coz i wasnt really hungry and QUEEN was yelling at me to go home ler.. today went again for the show with Aloy and his friends.. a bit weird but i enjoyed myself.. though my butt was aching throughout the show.. haha i think the seat not very comfortable huh.. lolz yep yep.. oh yeah must update u guys on last week.. wah intensive exercising.. haha tues-jogging with vivien, wed-swimming,thurs-jogging with YL,fri-swimming,sat-HOCKEY oh man... haha and i'm down with flu now.. must be fri i swam too long while waiting for JT to come.. *ahchoo! lolz but i was really feeling very sick yest and mr tan actually said that i was faking it.. *boohoo.. JR asked if i was crying.. sigh.. see la.. i think when i start to sound very negative ppl would think that i'm crying even when i'm just ill.. lolz but anyways.. that's nothing too much to worry.. lolz :)) haha tmr i'm finally gg to get a new watch TRA LA LA LA.. haha swatch watch baby~ haha a whopping $160.. lolz think i'll have to skip lunch for the rest of the month! lolz hmm.. was thinking of getting a new bag.. oh yah i need 1) a new shoe bag 2) new shin pads 3)new hockey stick grip 4) a new shoulder bag.. that's all! haha think fri gg down to queensway with sm to get the stuff.. oh yeah.. QUEEN's gg to be away for the whole of next week so i can go out to chill at night! haha call me out if any peeps wanna chill okie.. that's all! love all~

sinking into depression again??

oh no.. bad news.. i think i'm gg to sink into depression again? i dont know leh.. just now went to had meeting with TT for sept tuition camp thingy and QUEEN and she was asked me where i was so when i told her i was having meeting but she thought i was attending some church activities and started yelling.. haiz.. how sia why izit lidat.. i dont know why she is so anti-christ? what can i do to convince her?? i feel so lost now.. AGAIN. and i hate this kind of feelings.. how :~( went to church service a couple of times but only last sun i really felt very touched till i wanted to cry but.. if QUEEN doesnt approve of it i'll never going to do.. it's very easy to say that to accept and tell her later but difficult to do.. u will seriously wont understand because u are not the one doing it.. isnt it? haiz i dont know la.. many times i had the urge to raise my hand when the pastor ask, but i know i have to face the music when i come home since the QUEEN is sooooo anti-christ.. haiz and i dont want to do that.. i've done that for all my life and this time i want her approval then can i do it in peace. or wait till i'm 21? but what aloy said is true.. i'm 19 already and should be making personal decisions myself.. but.. but.. i think she'll disown me.. other ppl say disown maybe like joking lidat.. but QUEEN means business.. she'll make my life hell.. haiz dont know la. i should stop talking about depressing stuff. today morning i went for econs lect and it wasnt that bad.. after school actually wanted to go jogging with vivien but it just had to rain.. so we ate lunch in school then shop arnd west mall for christina's present, then in the end still decided to go jog. haha not bad we did 2.4km okie.. wanted to look out for eye candy but what we had was some ah peks and steamed chicken guys.. super fair and still run half naked... -_-'' i was like sooooooOOOOOOOOOo disappointed.. lolz at night went to meet TT and we had a small talk la.. really enjoyed it.. :)) i finally said my piece.. hahaha but not him la.. lolz.. oh yeah before i end off wanna share this christian song which really touched my heart.. *clear throat*
"You laid aside Your Majesty..
Gave up everything for me..
Suffered at the hands of those You had created..
You took all my guilt and shame..
When You died and rose again..
Now today You reign..
In heaven and earth exalted..
I really want to worship You my Lord..
You have won my heart..
And i am Yours for ever and ever..
I will love You..
You are the only one who died for me..
Gave Your life to set me free..
So i lift my voice to You in adoration."
oh my.. i really love this song.. if got chance ask me to sing to u okie.. hahahahaha ok la gg to end off here ler.. tra la la.. :))

i'm confused..

just now chatting with jr online and i felt that she said some weird stuff.. first, she started out asking me how i feel about he bf.. of course our ching nei nei is nice la.. then suddenly she said if anything happen to her then kelvin will be left to me?! What the heck? i'm so worried.. what the hecks.. chai if u are reading this, talk to me if anything's wrong okie.. dont bathe so late also.. haiyo..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

this morning went service with Aloy.. quite alright la.. they played one song " You laid aside your majesty" oh my.. FOR THE FIRST TIME, i was almost moved to tears.. but i dint cry la.. lolz after that went lunching with CHAI and kelvin and met Aloy to study after that.. alright la did quite a bit of work at least i finished socio tutorial.. something that's super boring.. haha i think i really cannot study at home.. will slack too much.. though 2 person studying together will talk but at least wont sleep and waste more time.. hahaha we should do it more often.. haha :)) ok la nothing much else to add. tmr meeting hjb and vivien to go out.. that's all i feel like sleeping ler.. byebye.. hahahahaha

jiang jiang jiang jiannnnnnnnnnng! hahaha

today went for my first official training with SRC hockey.. it was too bad but just that the team only got guys.. hahahaha wanted to get a tan de but ended up drizzling.. haiz tot there would be girls training also but all guys.. got a few eye candy la.. but no chance also.. all younger than me. come to think of it.. i'm really getting OLD.. haha i always help ppl to count their age and forgot about my own as if my age would stop.. hahaha sorry.. talking nonsense.. today while training, i suddenly feel like sweating as much as i can.. hahaha it's been really a lOOOOOOOOOoooooooong time since i exercised..haha even swimming i dont sweat.. i dont think anyone does, hahaha sorry ar.. talking a bit nonsense now.. yest went to watch TIM SUM DOLLIES with aloy,fishy,sm and her sis but by the time we got there, the tics sold out already.. what the heck.. haiz i was soooooooOOOOOOOO angry with myself for not getting ready the cash.. damns but after that we had quite an enjoyable time so it wasnt that bad afterall.. hehe went to chill out at pacific coffee and city hall there the sofa like for king to sit one.. not bad.. hehe.. shall go there and chill again but the drinks there the prices like a bit steep.. :/ haiz.. nothing much la.. this week, hectic la.. haiz very sian also.. got work to do but see already also sian lor.. haiz ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz ok la.. gg off already tmr still gg church in the morning.. bye peeps!

edtydgdkfn!!

ok.. everyone's busy mugging so no one's online and what the heck am i doing here? haha.. IBM is just so super boring.. haiz oh yeah.. today i have a thing to comment on.. i think a SCORPION's sting is the most powerful and poisonous one.. in this case i'm referring to the horoscope.. haha so guys never ever offend a scorpio or u'll live to regret it.. haha yah la i really think i can GET JEALOUS EASILY.. lolz serious. dont know la.. these few days i'm getting real extreme mood swings.. dont know suddenly can get very very sad and the next moment i'll be ok le.. haiz how sia.. are girls made this way? hmmm... maybe

:? life is getting worse?

oh my.. so early i'm home already.. supposed to do some revision for IBM tmr but i just had to come online and blog..tsk..tsk.. just now before i came home i went the bank to do fund transfer to another ebay seller and when i wanted to come online to reply her email? guess what? i've deleted the person's contact and couldnt contact her? how nice.. i was so panic lor.. damn can u imagine paying $9 and not getting anything? ok la 9 bucks to me maybe not a lot but HELLO?! it's still money right?yah la.. i think this few days i'm really pissing mr tan off lor.. kept having evil thoughts.. haiz that day on msn i was like a bitch but i was really.. disappointed.. i dont with him or myself.. maybe both but after talking to fishy i'm ok already la.. she sort of "kai1 dao3" me lor.. haiz but today that feeling came back again.. i was attending socio lect and of all things the lecturer must talk about suicide.. and suddenly i had this very strong feeling to commit suicide.. i want to know what it is like to be on the other side of the world.. izit really true that devoted christians go to heaven? not as if i'm a christian but i could check it out? haha dont know leh.. i know i should stop having such ridiculous and just focus on my studies stop thinking so much but how can i ? usually ppl commit suicide because they are suffering from depression. maybe i'm too u know.. i keep having extreme mood swings.. WTH? i dont want to bother aloysius but i just cant help it la.. when we're smsing each other i will bring in this topic and i feel that i'm pissing him off. haiz but what can i do? what can i do? i'm really lost.. haiz tmr gg to watch TIM SUM DOLLIES cuz my sis got cheap tics at $4.. haiz hope it would turn out good. Sat gg for hockey training hope it would be good too.. keep ya fingers or maybe.. pray for me. yep thanks peeps :)

heya~

finally.. mr tan's birthday bash is over.. haiz this thing has been running in my mind for weeks.. imagining all the awakwardness i will have to endure when i'm there.. and indeed i did la.. lolz but luckily sm and fishy were there to acc me lor.. i dint know our dear mr tan dint have any girl friends.. tsk..tsk... except his 2 precious female classmates.. hahaha which made fishy thinking that is the cute guy's gf.. lolz so damn funny.. :D anyways made a new friend.. dont know can be considered anot la.. haiz.. so sian.. school has started for 3 weeks already and i admit i have not really adjusted to the system and the haze- like environment in SIM everytime during break.. it just sucks lor.. seriously.. I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO TRY AGAIN FOR NTU NEXT YEAR.. coz i'm quite sure staying in SIM is not what i want in my life? i dont know leh.. how.. :? sigh.. we'll see how next year.. pray hard that i can make it into NTU.. my dream school.. sigh..:( yep yep.. ok la.. this is one thing i dont wanna admit but maybe i do have feelings for him.. but so what?!?! if he doesnt reciprocate then too bad la.. not say i never go through such things before.. haiz let nature take its course but sometimes if nature is too slow should we humans take over the job? muhahahahahaha talking nonsense.. lolz i'm not very sure of my feelings also.. sometimes maybe have but sometimes like not there? aiyah this kind of things very hard to use words to describe de.. if u wanna know.. call me up and i'll tell u personally.. lolz.. i've been slacking all this while man.. shitty.. got stuff to do but i feeling lazy leh.. the lecturers in SIM also cannot make it la.. woa lao especially the IBM lecturer..always like to talk nonsense and tease girls, waste time and release us late for class.. WTH.. sucks lor.. this is just so different from what i had imagined.. haiz and this is not the kind of uni life i've been looking forward to after JC.. i believe for many of us too.. haiz.. SUCKY.. anyways i've been trying online shopping for quite a while and i got hooked.. lolz u should try it out when u got nothing better to do or u just wanna slack.. hahahahaha ok la.. i guess this entry should be long enough ler.. just want to add one last sentence.. i hate it when i msg someone and the person just refuses to reply.. (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE) !@#$%^&* ciaoz take care peeps.. miss you all~ :)

:?

yawn.. today went to catch the maid with aloy.. muhahaha so damn embarrassing la.. i was yelling throughout the show.. ok la not really but most of the time.. haiz so scary but still nice to watch :)) hahaha wed for me is rest day.. no school so morning i went for tuition then swimming and at night went out with him.. yawn.. oh yeah. i forgot to thank u aloy.. for calling me that day after u read my very depressing entry. thanks man. that little act touched my heart. seriously.. :) yep yep but i've really thought it through ler.. i realised that my problem cant even be compared to my friend's troubles lor.. her parents declared bankrupt, on the verge of divorce and she has to work to pay bills. what are my problems as compared to hers lor.. what the heck so i shouldnt whine about it anymore.. haiz.. but sometimes i really need some breathing space also so guys put up with me a little okie? haha but that's the point of having a blog what izit it? haiz school has started for 2 weeks but i'm still not very used to it la.. BUT i dont wanna to complain anymore.. like what mr tan said u can choose to go through this 3 years happily or can drag yourself to school also like so sian lidat.. but i guess it's always easier to say then to do it right? but even so, i'm willing to give it a try.. so guys hopefully u will be able to see more happy moments in my blog and not all depressing ones.. i realised that ever since i left JC all my entries would be filled with cursing.. muhahahaha yah la i'll try and cut down on that.. till then.. take care everyone!!

you will NEVER understand :((

guys would never experience what i'm going through now.. i've got my own school stuff to settle and jr's camp thing and another side my mum's up to my throat already.. i really feel like ending my life now.. at this point of time.. i dont want to think about any of this stuff already.. i cannot handle them.. i'm not strong enough. serious.. i'm nervous about the camp, i have to lie to my mum whenever i go out.. who can even understand all this? dont tell me u can.. i know u are lying. BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm mad at everybody mad at myself.. so sick of this world.so sick of everything. leave me alone

school's starting tmr..

hey peeps.. school is starting tmr.. i'm really not looking forward to it la.. but haiz yah la.. today i went to church and i'm enlightened by the pastor's saying.. " PAIN IS INEVITABLE BUT MISERY IS OPTIONAL" true isnt it? many of us chose to dwell in the pain and endure the misery but if we view it in another way it may not be such a bad thing afterall? but once again it's easy to say but difficult to put into action.. isn't it? a bit contradicting also.. haha aiyah dont know la.. got a blog with my JC peeps.. view if u have time.. www.v-0f-us.blogspot.com okie.. that's all liao i want to sleep early tonight.. tmr's gg to be a hectic day.. bye all miss ya!

my eyes are popping out..

burp.. so full ate some rice for dinner cum supper just now and feeling so bloated now.. wonder how am i gg to sleep.. haha just now went to catch with aloysius.. the movie is wonderful so is the company.. dint expect myself to enjoy the show coz i wasnt really interested in such scientific shows lor.. about cloning and stuff.. that's like so super GP.. lolz.. yep yep but i enjoyed the show although it was a long 2.5 hours.. haha super cold in the theatre but someone just insisted that it wasn't haiz.. ok la.. when he called me to tell me that he was in town already i was so dont want to go and meet him.. (sorry aloy if you're reading this) but i wanted to spend more time with my gfs.. seriously not les or what.. actually i wanted to tell u this just now but i didn't know how to start but i feel that now me and sm in different unis already.. i'm starting to lose this friend.. i dont want our relationship to change in any way u understand? i know u would say that we're lesbians but i DONT CARE.. she's been my best friend since sec school and i dont want to lose her.. damns what the heck.. i'm repeating myself.. yep yep yesterday was my last day at work.. after work went out with daphy and eunice for dinner and we just had to embarrass ourselves.. haiz our dear daphy went to book the wrong location of the restaurant and we went to the cuppage branch.. btw the restaurant is the rice table.. yep so she booked the wrong one and went we reached there the person said that we dint reserve any seats.. so we created a din there and i even had the cheek to demand for discount.. what the heck. haha and halfway through our order the branch that she called up to book called her and asked if she's still coming.. what the heck lor.. paisey ourselves only.. lolz after that actually we went to go out for dessert de but the queen at home will sing the phatom of opera so she had to send me home.. so sickening.. haiz.. we had a lot of fun.. i think this is the last time i'll work there anymore.. i'm like a maid.. moving stuff, packing bookselves.. WTF i can be professional librarian already la.. somemore so dusty.. not say i'm complaining or what but the pay is spastic also.. somemore must sweat and i'm allergic to dust will keep sneezing one lor.. so when i was packing the books i had to hold my breath.. SUCKS.. but anyways all the shit are over i'm now shaking my legs at home and waiting for $$$ to roll in.. lolz got a very bad headache now.. dunnoe what's wrong with the contacts lens.. today wear already feel very giddy.. even when watching the show i kept having migraine.. damns yah la.. sian man next week gg to start school already.. not so ready yet.. having mixed feelings about everything now.. including HIM. haiz i just dont know what i want... but i've learnt something.. and that's to NOT GIVE TOO MUCH OF MYSELF! ciaoz.. head is splitting apart :/

:/

it's been almost 10 days since i last blogged.. sorry peeps if u have been coming online hoping to see a new entry but it's the same old thing! muhaha yep yep anyways.. i'm secretly using this blogger thingy in the office while waiting to photocopy some shitty things for a bitch..damns.. it has many pages and must photocopy 18 sets somemore.. i'm not gg to stand there and wait lor.. haiz.. yes la.. again i'm very vexed.. i cant read the signs.. seriously.. why are u blowing hot and cold? maybe i should not waste my time on you anymore.. huh.. am i right? sometimes u make me feel as if we're really in a relationship but sometimes u totally ignore me.. though i know u are not my type of guy i feel that i'm willing to give it a try.. can't u see? dont tell me u cant read the signs either.. i wont believe u lor.. yah la but as if u would tell me that.. haiz.. i dunnoe! school is starting soon but i'm so not looking forward to it.. damns.. i feel that i'm crapping nonsense.. fcuk.. blog again later.. actually i've got a lot of things to say but when i'm here i feel so lost.. ciaoz brb~

long long time ago..

heyz.. been quite a while since i worked at my mum's place.. and i must say i've earned quite a lot.. muhahah $_$ yep yep.. yesterday had tuition at jr's tuition centre and after that we had a meeting.. goodness gracious! that was the worse meeting i've ever had in my entire life.. i was so fucked up by that bitch.. jr dint even tell me that they will be other ppl joining us and greedy me bought durian puffs hoping to eat them during the meeting and greedy TT also bought $10 worth of famous amos cookies hoping to eat.. and what happened in the end?? we dint even get to eat them together la.. damns! why leh coz of that !@#$128975!@#^&* person.. haiz.. talking about her really makes my blood boil lor.. not just me but for the first time of my life i see TT critising someone.. and is a SHE. but that "thing" huh.. really bossy. and what's the most fuck thing? she actually rolled her eyes when i said that i'm gg sim.. maybe i should have lied that i'm gg harvard.. but damns why should i sin because of her.. not worth it lo.. sucks! i think i've sinned so terribly here cursing so much! muhaha yep yep.. i've created a blog for my jc friends i think it will aid in our communication coz like we can write about how we feel and stuff.. for me is minus the vulgarities! haha :P today went out with hui and sm.. so much fun playing and embarrassing ourselves.. haiz.. i think it's going to be even worse on aloy's bday party with 1.53 around! THUNDEROUS!!!!! haha.. but anyways i've always enjoyed piggying and hanging out with my gfs. no hypocrisy lor.. i really cannot stand it. we just burp and fart and behave as though we are a family.. so that's why i'm super duper depressed when i couldnt get into the same uni as them. i dont want our relationship to change in any way.. but i know it will coz we are all in different schools and stuff.. damns typing this can make me tear.. haiz.. i can only blame myself for not studying hard la.. my fate is sealed that very day i sat for the maths paper.. i knew all my efforts will be going down the drain but.. i was still hoping for a miracle but a miracle hasnt come yet.. my whole life i've been very unlucky.. seriously speaking.. i think i'm someone who brings bad luck to myself.. WTF?! i always dont get what i want.. damns.. yah la but i know that life still goes on.. :( that's all folks. stay tuned if u wanna know more.. ciaoz! take care i miss u all!

jvoiquryto13847ry394

i behaved like a fucking bitch on msn today.damns.i hate myself!

lifeless!

for this whole week, today is the only day i went out.. with hui.. yep yep went to bugis wanted to go xodus buy that cheap cheap shoe but the sale is over already so dint buy from there.. hui recommended to go seiyu and i bought a shoe from there.. i guess i knew what i wanted.. the comfort not the looks. similarly for guys.. muhaha it's the feeling when we're together that matters and not how he looks?! muhahaha aiyah think i'm talking nonsense.. today spend too much money liao.. bought shoes and a new wallet! muhahahaha i'm really a bitch. damn. but the wallet i'll think about it everytime i go bugis leh so might as well get it... haha yah la we had dinner at crystal jade.. not bad at bugis but hui's baked rice was a bit too creamy and the milk powder taste was rather strong.. haha went to mum's place to work and made new friends again.. haha they look bimbo-tic but OH MY GOODNESS! they're such nice peeps.. surely gonna miss them when i stop working there.. saw nice earrings at bugis think is 3 for $10 maybe can get for them.. hahaha k la gotta go already.. Mr tan is talking nonsense liao. bye!

dont step into my heart`

back from m'sia for quite a while already.. haiz and so so so much bad things have happened recently.. finally my appeals for nus and ntu have been rejected. that's my fate but i've yet to come to terms with it..i just cant! yest jr called me and was crying on the other line saying that she had been rejected too and had nowhere to go now.. am i better off than her? maybe la.. at least i've got sim to go but is that what i really want? although i've always wanted to set up my own business but do i have to study business? maybe i'm still not sure of what i want in my life.. seriously.. when she called me yest i felt so helpless too.. never in my life have i had this feeling.. really bad.. a feeling of being left behind from all my friends.. this kind of feeling is indescribable and only those who are in the same situation as me will understand.. OTHERS WHO CLAIM THAT THEY DO, DON'T! i thank u all for keeping up with my whines but FOR GOODNESS SAKE u all really dont know what i'm going through now.. haiz i'm drained of my energy already. besides being super vexed with the application to uni the woman at home is also giving me hell.. i hate to elaborate on it, so i shan't. but i just want to make a point. she insists that i go out to shop and waste money but in the first place she was the one who dint allow me to go work at Hui's place coz she said is LOW-CLASS.. HELLO???????? i'm not even a graduate la. what can i complain when i've got a job that pays $6.50 per hour and $9.7o for OT? WTF.. she's been yelling at me for the past few days over stupid things that i've got no power over.. that somebody crashed our car can be linked to me not getting into uni.. damnit. now tell me. WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH NOW? i may be the same me who laughs loudly and playful when with friends, but when the night settles in, my heart aches for myself again. damn. i'm not trying to be poetic here but seriously this is how i feel deep inside. everytime i see my friends all getting ready and excited over their uni camps and i've got nothing to rejoice about my heart just aches. :(

i hate my life.

been quite a while since i last blogged.. haiz and so muchie have happened.. finally i've received my final judgement.. i'm gg to SIM. That's it. but apparently that woman at home just dont want to accept the fact and insist that i enrol for the dip in teaching.. haiz.. what's the prob la.. haiz i'm so sick and tired of arguing with them what i want and what is GOOD for me.. what the heck.. i'm jobless now and damn damn broke. i help hui pay for 45 pounds and sm $45 for her SD card. how great. and all my previous employers just refuses to pay me back..(My PAY LA! DAMNIT) my bank account is depleting at an alarming rate.. my goodness.. haha but anyways that's not the main point.. yep yep.. today i went for Aloy's church service.. though it's EARLY in the morning but i felt much more comfortable then the time i went for JR's de.. dunnoe but not much jumping la.. then i got to talk to his cell leader for quite a while.. which i find that it's not bad.. maybe can ask sm and fishy along next time if i wanna go again.. maybe what aloysius said is true that you'll need to go more often to be familiar with the practice.. and seriously it is not easy to become a christian.. 1stly, i've got a woman at home who is always here to BLAST at me. 2ndly, i admit i lack the commitment to go to church every sunday and read the bible everyday.. 3rdly, i still kind of live by sight and not faith.. in one of the songs they sang during service is that " i live by faith and not sight" but i dont think i can do so yet.. aiyah it takes time lor.. yep yep but seriously i think nowadays ppl are so busy and caught up with their own stuff and attending something that makes u grow mature spiritually is like quite hard? i dont know la.. but if u ask someone would they rather go church or movie? if both are FOC i bet it's the latter lor.. but yah la.. just let nature takes its course.. i also dont want to force anything now.. just let things stay the way they are. I'm loving it! haha haiz.. oh yeah.. Hui if you're reading this.. your timetable u try to arrange same as mine okie? wed no school! haha then we can go chill out or exercise hor.. i made a new friend at SIM.. haha she's as crazy as me (thank God!) lolz.. i'm not so lonely afterall.. haha i've not been able to sleep well this few days.. dunnoe why also cant sleep that's why it's 1am liao but i'm still here.. damn what's wrong..also, i still love hockey so i'm gg to join SRC's hockey dont care what the woman says.. it's my passion :) even at the expense of my grades.. at least i'm doing something i like.. not say get a degree will ensure a better life.. my uncles are only sec 4 educated but they are like bloody rich.. so as long they are willing to slog to achieve..i would too if i put my passion in it ok! aloysius stop laughing when u are reading this okie. i'm serious.. i'm starting a cafe! lolz.. k la think i wrote enough already. must go watch movie when i come back from m'sia okie? Ciaoz take care Peeps miss ya~ /inital D/

end of the world

i think what aloy said about the end of the world is coming is TRUE.. maybe not for others but definitely for me. damn.. so many things happened recently and i'm not on track to settle all at once.. haiz.. my nus and smu application got rejected and now still waiting for the bloody ntu to reply me.. i was really feeling very down recently.. though i may not show it on the outside but seriously, inside me.. my heart is really broken.shattered. did i not work hard enough to earn myself a place in the university? but my grades this time were the best i had since i started JC.. so? what can i ask for more? maybe except my GP la.. but my maths is really gone case already lor.. haiz :'( i was really feeling very very very sad when i heard all my other friends looking forward to their uni life and which course they had to choose. but for me? I'VE GOT NOTHING TO CHOOSE FROM!!!!!!!!! haiz.. ok la SIM may have accepted me but so what? that's not the kind of uni life i was looking forward to when i made my choice to enter JC. rights? but again am i the cause of this whole shit? i think so.. and the worse thing.. the adverse support my mum has given me makes me feel that the whole world is crumpling down on me. she expects me to go work at some voluntary work and that i dont get paid?! WTF.. she everytime keep saying that she go out work so hard then i slack at home.. how come she dont understand the main purpose of her working so hard is because SHE IS PAID? damn. and i'm like working for free.. still must travel to HOUGANG.. fuck. i'm really very pissed lor.. even when i'm seriously sick she also say i act sick to stay at home.. damn. and the worse thing? i had to pay for my medical bills. see la, with this kind of mother i really feel that life is meaningless for me lor.. i really cannot stand it anymore.. she is like pushing me to the edge already.. i had ENOUGH! the comparision between me and my sis is also.. haiz why she just cannot get the idea into her thick skull that me and sister ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!? and that i cannot become like her? haiz.. dunnoe la.. like what i told aloy maybe this is what God has planned for me and it would be a better choice.. But still i hope i can still get into NTU.. that would be my best birthday present : so long

Rebellious!

muhaha.. mum's out of town and i've become super rebellious.. at this point of time when even i myself feel that i've gone out way too much it really mean business..haha but i really cannot resist the temptation la.. damn.. the day before we went to hui's bro's place to play mahjong.. wasnt really focusing cuz we were like more gossiping than playing.. heez after that hui drove us to crystal jade for supper.. SLURPZ and apparently with the ultimate 1.53 around we weren't short of embarrassing ourselves with her thunderous laughter.. haha ok la i also played a part :P i got home at 3 am la.. what the heck haha but big thanks to hui cuz she drove me back... haha so cool! lolz then yest also she drove us out specially to eat supper.. we went to the pasir panjang food centre to eat BBQ stingray and Zhu Zhu some seafood thingy that you hafta suck the flesh out de.. apparently we couldnt get the meat out and still have to ask the uncle to demo for us to see.. haha but we dint manage to finish it cuz it tasted really bloody.. haha anyways after that we went to dou feng around to changi and she brought us to see bah poks at changi village.. goodness first time experience such things.. i couldnt believe my own eyes.. i think i'm those ppl that i have to see it for myself to believe de lor.. if u tell me something but i never see it for myself.. i'll still have doubts about it.. hehe yep yep.. been gg with aloy more frequently this few weeks.. i better do something about it.. like keep a distance? aiyah i dunnoe also.. sian.. gg for bible lesson then tonight gg for oinks birthday party also.. alrights.. wanted to go sun tanning de but i think the sun like not strong already.. ciaoz

has my time come?

hey.. it's been a while since i last blogged.. very lazy to blog also.. haha yep yep that day i went out with aloy and guess who i saw?! my goodness he would be the last person i would want to see and i did.. haiz do u call this fate? J! argh.. i was like so damn paisey to see him.. at that moment i suddenly felt that i was doing something bad.. but apparently -_- i wasnt la.. i'm single so i can do what i want.. but.. to the extend of letting others misunderstand? i dont want.. haiz that day when we went out aloy was looking at my phone then he saw TT's pictures.. haiz i dont want him to misunderstand. then when i went out with aloy. J had to see us. damn what the heck man?!? actually i also dont know what i want la.. haiz.. just now we went to visit TT cuz he wasnt feeling well and so he hasn't booked in yet and i was watching some funny shows and i started laughing very loudly as usual and he actually said "aiyoh u laugh until so loud, next time how to live with you?" woa lao since when i say we'll live together? or is he hinting something? cuz when i ask him " i got say want to live with u meh" then he said " oh yah, i mean your parents?" someone.. PLEASE tell me is that this all is my wishful thinking.. damn. haiz then when i went out with aloy that day.. for the first time i think we just met up for dinner lor and movie.. and he is the one who initiated it la.. AGAIN REMIND ME CONSTANTLY! haha we went to eat subway for dinner cuz quite late liao then he was very hungry.. un-professional me eat until the whole table and skirt very dirty but he was like nothing happen and wanted to find a 'tian mi mi' place to eat -_- but dint la coz the air was too polluted.. haha i've never been serious before but i want to say something very very serious here! i really dont know what i want. damn. how do u make a choice? can i not make one? and if i dont want to make one why do i get jealous? for no reason? maybe what they say on tv is true that scorpio peeps get jealous easily huh.. i was quite convinced.. but haiz.. yah la i cant make a decision and this decision is no one can make for me de.. it's just my own personal choice.. and the greatest shit is that i'm jobless. fuck. how can this be true? haiz... $_$ life sucks even after exams :/