:(

i dont want to be just the person who is free to accompany you on weekends to go out for movies. i want your time on weekdays too, but you dont seem to be able to do it.. i really dont know now how... sucks man am i really your girlfriend? but u really dont treat me like one

hurt and broken

hurt and broken was how i had been feeling for the past one week. but ok..now we've made up. but is that the end of everything? i'm not sure if writing this entry is the right thing to do or not. but really though we have made up and both of us have tried to make things like how they were before i wont deny that things are different now. changed for the better or worst, maybe it's still too early to say. whatever it is, i'm still not ready to let go of things now. there are too many memories, good ones and bad ones and really i'm not mentally ready to miss them now, and of course you. i really hate myself, why i dont have the courage to just end things, choosing to hold on instead then i read in the bible, that if GOD brought these 2 people together, let man not separate them. think it's in the book of matthew and also mark but not sure the exact chapter. sigh maybe it's the stress coming from your work that's changing everything but i dont want that to be any excuse.. and no matter how tired you are, i think it's only right that you give me a little of your time everyday. if we cant meet everyday, then at least you could call me to talk to me for a while every night? maybe for some couples, there isn't a need to do that every night but we have been doing that for nearly 2 years already and if now suddenly we stop doing it, i'll have difficulties in adapting to it.. :( i cant say that i'm feeling very blissful now but i'm just glad that we are still together in this and also we have decided to work things out. it's inevitable that things will change and ppl will change too, but what i need now is time to adapt to everything, you cant possibly expect me to accept everything overnight? sigh.. dont know la think for that unfortunate event that happened to us has really tested my patience and i can tell you that if there's gg to be a repeat of it, really goodbye this time.. no matter how hurt i will be, i will let go. all the good memories that we have and we're gg to have will be destroyed.. :X dont really know what i'm typing now la.. maybe eat too full just now.. i had steamboat with my nie friends.. so full BURRP feel like puking :X but whatever, dont sidetrack, i want this to be the closure for us and not to mention it again in any of the quarrels. i know it's difficult for me to do it but i'll really try even if it's gg to hurt me like mad :( . i promise you

17-08-2007

if it's so difficult to make a decision whether to hold on or to move on, i guess this time round it's really time to let go.. it's really eating into me and i cant afford that :( I really need to trust in GOD to guide me and to comfort me.

birthday wishlish

Ok.. i've come up with a brief birthday wishlist.. haha

1. "i'm not a plastic bag" canvas tote bag dont need to buy the authentic one.. i saw one on yahoo auctions selling at $35.. either blue or brown will do :D i'm super tempted to buy one NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrgh

2. Oven (evofus?)

3. Diamond earrings( darling?)

4. ANNA SUI Dolly Girl Bonjour L'Amour ( the biggest bottle) - the new anna sui perfume.. purple colour de.. let me know if you're choosing to get this coz i've got a contact selling cheap. :D below $70

5. nice shoulder bags

6. accessories. *nice ones pls*

7. spongebob merchandise ( but no soft toy pls coz my bed no space le..)

8.nice earrings. dangling ones pls. i like bronze coloured ones. no silver pls.

-till then .. haha that's all. let me know which one you guys are interested in then i can chope it for you.. HAHA *shy* :X