fucked up

i've never felt so let down by everyone around me before.. my leader from the sikkim and also by the person i love most.. :( seriously i mean.. do we always have to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others, when i put in so much effort, but in turn nothing comes out right, why should i put myself through all the trouble? i dont really see the point. i'm ultra pissed now. To my leader of sikkim: if you guys need more tiles, go get the god damn tiles yourself and ask the other team also to get their own tiles, i dont see why i have to put myself through all these trouble and get all these nonsense from you. i mean seriously till so far, i've secured such a good contact and you have yet to say one thank you to me. i'm not trying to claim any glory or whatever shit but it's that i feel that my efforts have gone unappreciated. same for the cookies and cream project. damn all this are shitifying me. damns. i've to beg my relatives to buy from me and here the orders are being cocked up. WTF la seriously. as if my schoolwork is not busy and hectic enough, ppl that i love dont seem to care enough for me, maybe he did, but i cannot feel it. i always have the feeling that we both switch roles la. i'm the boyfriend and you are the girlfriend, i mean i'm mostly the one caring for u, making sure of this, that, going down to your place to meet you, maybe u can say that it's all that i'm doing out of my own will, true but cant you do it for me? true, u may be in army, and we dont have to meet everyday, then fine la. dont meet. i really hate myself sometimes...:( damn pissed up now. sigh maybe what jr said in the very first place is true that i'm not yet ready to be in a relationship. even till now, we're together for one year odd already, i mean seriously, dont u feel suffocated in the relationship, having such a demanding and unreasonable gf? sigh i dont know man, when such things happen, i just cant help but want to throw away everything we have had. i mean i feel it's a burden to carry on with things and also who knows, things might be better for you if you were without me. i still love you, but if loving you is too taxing on me and that i feel that i cannot cope anymore, can i just let go?

random pics

Just some random pics, let the pictures do the talking :)

i tot it is funny to embarrass my NIE friend lidat. :X haha so funny la
me and my baby @ settlers cafe (holland)
the HAPPY ONE YEAR CARD that dint disappoint. thanks love (14-09-2005)
Ms Roly Poly and Mr Fido-Dido :)
HAHAHA R-RATED. hearts boxers 3 for $20 @ NIE bazaar

taken today 08-10-2006 muackx i still love you very much even though we might have our differences, just glad that we managed to thrash things out and that we talked over it instead of just keeping everything to ourselves. *hUg*

my tortoise wanted to commit suicide. seriously -_-''

i'm a lazy pig

OH man.. i'm getting ultra lazy.. hadnt been in the mood to blog, not even now so just a short one just in case i disappoint any of my loyal blog readers. muha yup but it's just a short one also. had my hair cut and highlighted today. dont know y i chose today maybe coz i need to de-stress myself and after my haircut i was on the phone with darling and he kept asking me why i'm so happy maybe coz i feel slightly better after highlighting my hair.. hmmm i only did patches la not the whole head.. huh just in case u guys were wondering what did i do to my hair and also had my hair cut. yup BOB- shaped. haha shall post up new pictures after i take some nice ones okie? ;P oh yes and ppl please remind me that it's time to go on a diet. I'm like putting on so much weight. arrgh i think it's GOD's will for me to be roly poly. haha ciaoz.. GOD BLESS ALL :)