choosing to let go

i've been really unhappy this few weeks, or maybe i choose to blog about unhappy stuff or maybe nothing happy exists between the two of us anymore. quarrels are more frequent than ever and i'm unhappy than anytime. i think one of the reason is we have lesser time to meet up also, since i'm having my exams and you are busy with your work, guess we both dont have time for each other, maybe not as much as before. are we gg to stick to this for the rest of the time we have in this relationship, because if it is, i'm telling you now that i'm choosing to let go. you can say that i dont treasure this relationship or whatever thing but i've told u many times what i hope to see in you but it just doesnt come up or maybe it did and i failed to notice them. i'm really one unreasonable and hard to satisfy girlfriend,i admit but maybe you should ask yourself if you've done enough for this relationship and for me. If you felt that u did, ok good for you but to me, there's always something lacking. Maybe we are not meant for each other afterall or maybe GOD wants me to meet someone wrong before finally i meet the right guy? i dont know.. i'm selfish, self-centered and impatient with you i admit it all but that's not gg to solve the problem now right? coz i'm not changing and i dont know how.. maybe choosing the easy way out (like what u always say) is the only solution for Now. i'm really at a lost of what i can do to salvage this relationship.. :(( but i'm sure to say that i wont allow unhappiness to consume myself . God Bless all

things are not good

this is it. we've got nothing more to say to each other. or maybe coz you're just too tired to talk to me. nvm

unhappiness

i dont think there's such a thing as "Happily Ever After" even for married couples i dont think that such a thing even exists especially when the 2 ppl involves me. i'm really selfish, self-centered. u dont know what i want and what i need. what u ever do is to ever give in to me. where's your personality? where's your temper? gone. you always say you are there waiting for me, you will love me. your loving really made me suffocate. or maybe like what u say i'm the one making myself suffocate or what.. but i really feel that our lives are so different now, we'll never ever cross paths. you in ns and me studying now. we have to make an effort to meet up and travel up and down. now u will tell me that u dont mind travelling,i really dont know what to say lei.. you always give in to me and just dont want to fight for what u really want. i can tell u now that if u still want to be in this relationship with me, more of such things will happen. we are just 1 day short of our anniversary, but just looking back at my entries, maybe for the past one month or even longer, we have more quarrels then happy times la. it's wearying me down. u definitely will say that i'm always the one picking trouble with you and that u are happy in this relationship but i'm not la. i'm not happy when we quarrel every now and then. AT THIS VERY MOMENT. you are sleeping coz u have a headache and u ask me to cheer up.. ON MY OWN? how man? self- entertain? i know u will be very angry when u read this entry but this is really what i want to say before u tell me that it's very late for u to stay up already coz u have to work 630 tmr. i dont know la maybe we are just not right for each other and waiting for the right time to end all this for good. i dont know how are we ever to solve all this :( all this nonsense things that can be avoided if your gf hadnt been me :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

arrgh..

Just got back from NUS's hostels.. sigh and listening to my friend's woes it really made me think, izit that good to be in a relationship? hmm i dont know. sigh i dont want to quarrel with him but think i'm really short-tempered in this relationship.. how i can make myself more big hearted towards someone i really care a lot for? i really wonder how i can be.. i'm really very selfish and self-centered then all of u can imagine.. :(

*_*

Cant believe i'm here blogging when everyone in the world now is mugging like never before.. yawn zzz i'm a bit distracted lei like i cant concentrate hard enough on what i'm studying coz they dont hold much meaning to me.. maybe later after i finish blogging then i can go start on another more interesting module.. muha.. exams in one weeks' time. hope that everyone has more or less started their revision.. yup got a few expired photos i'm gonna update. :D
This is My Hall Pet ---> "Tang Yuan" super cute fellow, the biggest amongst all the other hammies.. but he/she ( still too young to differentiate) muha -_-'' escaped from the cage on sat & sun and me, sm and jing2 had to launch a emergency "sao dang" to find him/her.. and in the end he/she was hiding in my wardrobe's drawer that i had NEVER opened ever since i've moved in hall la.. tsk tsk i was so scared that i would see a dead hamster body but luckily nv.. i've seen a lot ever since gg over to hui ting's place, from hamsters giving birth to being eaten up and also growing up.. exciting biology class. :) so real..

Night cycling with JR and the rest of the youthnet ppl.. i had fun really.. nv tried night cycling before, this is my first and it was great.. all the CUTE GUYS slurrp.. haha :P got so much la until i a little regret that i asked aloy along.. lol but still he took care of me the whole journey making sure i'm always in front of him and that we will look out for each other.. overall rating: AWESOME. :D dinner cum supper @ lau pat sat. then we cycled to vivo city and back to east coast. it was a long journey but before we started out Pastor said that God was actually cycling with us :) so it wasnt that bad afterall.. yup we were actually worshipping at the place where they fish i dont know what izit called.. but we were there before sun rise and we sang and worshipped the LORD all the way till the sun was right in our face and i remember clearly that when we stand facing the sea, the sun was on our left and the moon was still on our right.. it's a really amazing feeling no words can describe the kind of feeling we felt at that moment. Indeed he is a Great GOD. how can a man make the sun and moon appear together at the same time? woah woah :D coz we dint sleep the whole night we felt extremely shagged the next day and my legs were aching real bad. seriously think i used too much strength or what till i had to eat pills to stop the pain la.. but thank GOD i recovered fully in 2 days time.. :) next time got anymore such stuff remember to jio me along okie? or maybe after exams we can do it on our own.. lol i got my own bike. muha

US before starting out cycling.

P.S i know i look super round and fair coz i'm standing beside someone dark and skinny. OK FINE, i put on weight. damns

PRESENTING TO ALL.. ***jiang*** jiang*** jiang*** jiang***....................................................... my NTU?NIE? cute guy *_* muha wonder if anyone of you know him or what.. so much eye candies!! lol anyways he was sleeping and i managed to snap a few photos of him but this photo shows his coolness the most..*shy* :X see the ring on his left hand?? muha i thought he is attached and maybe it's some couple couple ring but GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?! when i went for encounter earlier on, i was presented the G12 ring, EXACTLY THE SAME AS HIS. is this fate or what? lol ciaozz... mug hard everyone :D

:)

THE SWEETEST THING ON EARTH.. heh her name's cammy.. love her to bits man PIGLET!!! lol anyways just want to "use" her face to cheer any of you guys up who are feeling a little down.. no matter how bad things are, there are surely something small that's worth your smile :D been through a lot this week.. i mean you know la relationship problems.. think this time it got a little out of hand.. and vivo's really our cursed place. everytime we go there together we surely quarrel de.. and everytime we go there the quarrels seem to get worse and worse.. :( but i'm just thankful that we managed to cool down la.. but please, dont do that again ok? it really scared me.. whatever it is.. i wanna share some stuff that happened to me this pass few weeks.. we had our DSJ test and some #*^)#&^$)#&^$ PRC ppl had to cheat in the test la.. sigh and some singaporeans not happy go expose but apparently the teacher dint really penalise the PRC woman then they even more not happen went to expose to the management.. so now the whole lect kena liao lor.. woa lao super politics la.. i wonder how this kind of ppl gonna teach the kids in school in one more year's time.. it's really sad that i'm in the same lect as them.. not just one woman cheated..i saw so many of them la.. sucks the PRC woman who got caught still had the cheek to say " which eye of yours saw me cheating?!?" like what the hell la.. cheat liao still dont want to admit.. sigh so sad right.. and i'm also very bad la as usual always gossip with my gang of friends then one of my classmate from last sem she wear stockings, 37 years old :X, not married/attached and we always gossip about her la.. tsk tsk but apparently she know that we are gossiping about her then not happy.. muha -_-'' got another PRC also we suspect that she had a botox job but recently see her face like very swollen like that dont know izit she went back her country then did a cheapo one.. lol so bad hor me.. but it's so me also.. but i really have to ask GOD for a heart of love.. and he gave me a verse.. "This is my command: Love each other"- John15:17 and it's like so real.. just yesterday i was hoping i'll be able to change my ways and this morning while doing my daily bread the Lord gave me this verse.. think i'll have to change my ways and walk with the Lord.. i dont want to sound so holy but it's true that the one and only GOD is Jesus.. going for the encounter was indeed a good decision coz i really did encounter God and of course the annointing from the holy spirit and for the first time i tried speaking in tongues.. think i'm not really used to it but i'll practice it hard since it's a Gift from God.. i really want to thank the Lord for all his mercy he has shown in my life.. All the test i thought i'm gonna flunk like mad or if not, not gg to do well but because JESUS is Lord of my life, i'm blessed. Friends out there if your are feeling down or lonely, why dont u look up into the sky? You'll see someone out there waving at you, wanting to be there for you.. :) Take care ppl getting a little excited over night cycling tmr.. heh shall update sometime soon. outta here~

:X

- i'm just glad that we did not decide to end it just that.
- i'm super glad that i encountered GOD.
- it's time to move on with my life
- it's time to study for the exams two weeks later. OMG
Persevere on everyone :D