今天, 我们一起参加了礼拜。虽然我们不应该见面的，但在不属于“情侣”身份的我们一起参加了礼拜，意义上好像和以往不同。在你的眼里，我看到了你对我们这段爱情的渴望。在我上巴士之前，因为你站在马路上很危险，我主动拉了你的手腕。没想到你却牵了我的手... ... 也只有在那时候，我真正感觉到我们的这段感情对你来说是如此的重要。虽然我也很怀念有你在我身边的日子，但我必须在这段日子中离开，让我真正确认这份感情对我来说到底是什么。我心里到底想要什么。看着身边的好朋友和老公闹翻了，还搞到要离婚，我想想清楚，你是否就是我要定终身的那个人。虽然现在说起来还是有点儿早，但毕竟我们在一起也四年多了，我们真的该想一想在未来的日子该怎么办... ... 我还有多两个半星期的时间想清楚... ...愿我能得到一个双赢的答案。
加油！
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
没有在一起的第八天
Today, i went shopping at JB. I guess for me, exercising and shopping makes everything feel much better. Dint really spend much only gt 2 pairs of earrings, hair conditioner and treated my feet to french pedi.. Though a part of me wanted him to drop me an sms or even a call, another part of me just wanted to enjoy all the quietness my phone is giving me. See, told you i'm so indecisive towards these. arrgh bt anyhow, since this is the break i suggested, it should be a break and not to have any contacts or whatsoever. Let me slowly find out and discover my hearts' desire.. Sat- GU JUN PYO's coming to town! woohoo~
Monday, October 19, 2009
没有在一起的第七天
这几天，虽然没有以往的那些电话和简讯，但星期六在礼拜后，我心里好像是有了一个决定。虽然如此，今天，我的心里的感受又好像不同了... ... 感觉上，我好像是不想失去这个朋友，而不是这个情人。虽然恋爱的感觉淡了，但友情的感觉却加深了。我不想放手是因为我真的还爱你吗？还是因为我不敢去面对一个人的日子？庆幸的是，我还有三个多星期的时间，好好的想清楚我心里到底要的是什么，我不想再有那种“不想有人烦”的感觉。我想找回当初选择在一起的感觉... ...
你说可能吗？
你说可能吗？
Saturday, October 17, 2009
没有在一起的第五天
今天，我和他碰面了。虽然只不过是短短的五分钟，但一切的感觉好像不如以前了。再也没有期待，再也没有那种“恨不得赶快见到对方”的感觉了。感觉上好像是两个朋友碰个面罢了。临走前，我主动给了他一个拥抱，但抱在怀里的感觉也不如从前了。少了那种“不想放手”的感觉，多了“朋友”的feel。哎！我也该是时候醒醒了。我和晶晶谈了很久，她告诉我其实他为人不错，只不过是我一时鬼遮眼，头脑想歪了，她也觉得我们在一起是会很幸福的... ...
为什么自身在幸福中的我不能感受到幸福呢？是不是像他所说的，我对他人的期望太高了呢？脑子和心里想的都是一些不实际的东西？我也希望能赶快从恶梦中醒来，发现自己是幸福的。但愿我也能珍惜一切、一切的幸福。
今天的你，幸福吗？
为什么自身在幸福中的我不能感受到幸福呢？是不是像他所说的，我对他人的期望太高了呢？脑子和心里想的都是一些不实际的东西？我也希望能赶快从恶梦中醒来，发现自己是幸福的。但愿我也能珍惜一切、一切的幸福。
今天的你，幸福吗？
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
没有在一起的第一天
昨天晚上，我做了一个决定。这个决定是对是错，到现在我还分不清楚。今天是第一天，或许我
还没有任何很深刻的想法，但是女人都是犯贱的，拥有的却不懂得珍惜，一旦失去了，心里又好像放不下似的。也因为这样，我给他发了两三个简讯、通了一通电话。但是在通了电话后，心里更加难受。没有发简讯、通话的日子虽只有仅一天，但却令我有点儿坐立不安。但是，通了电话后，听到另一方传来的声音，心里并没有好受一点。他说：“我还是会关心你的”我反问：“你没有发简讯没有打电话给我，怎么关心我？？”他：“当你打给我的时候，我就会关心你呀...这一切不是你要的吗？这一段冷静期不是你提出的吗？”确实如此，但是我心里并不清楚我想要的是什么... 或许现在的我正在等待着另一个能给我关怀、温暖的人吧... 我也想学着放手... ...
还没有任何很深刻的想法，但是女人都是犯贱的，拥有的却不懂得珍惜，一旦失去了，心里又好像放不下似的。也因为这样，我给他发了两三个简讯、通了一通电话。但是在通了电话后，心里更加难受。没有发简讯、通话的日子虽只有仅一天，但却令我有点儿坐立不安。但是，通了电话后，听到另一方传来的声音，心里并没有好受一点。他说：“我还是会关心你的”我反问：“你没有发简讯没有打电话给我，怎么关心我？？”他：“当你打给我的时候，我就会关心你呀...这一切不是你要的吗？这一段冷静期不是你提出的吗？”确实如此，但是我心里并不清楚我想要的是什么... 或许现在的我正在等待着另一个能给我关怀、温暖的人吧... 我也想学着放手... ...
Thursday, October 08, 2009
At the crossroads
Work
Wow.. it's mean a damn long period of time since i last blogged. Guess i've been too lazy and whatsnot to even start blogging.. we've got facebook wah..heh but anyways.. i'm doing good in what i'm doing except! that today a girl came up and asked me how to do a p5maths question and i did it wrongly! kns until her friend had to come up to me and tell me that what i did was wrong.. :( haha so the moral of the story is: teach chinese :) waha so paisey felt like digging a hole and burying myself inside.
Love
L-O-V-E this 4 letter word is so simple yet so complicated at the same time. I am having the feeling of being at the crossroads.. the choice is to be or not to be. i do not know and i am afraid to choose. I have been having these thoughts for more than a month already. Ever since i finished watching the BBF, i started having wild thoughts. It's every girl's dream to be with a $_$ guy but even if the guy isnt $_$ at least he should be manly or with a strong personality or something? sighs i dont know la. but the Gu Jun Pyo lovestruck thingy seems to have died down but the rollercoaster in my heart hasnt stop! arrgh i do not know what to do now man. sucks.. arrgh i want to tell someone abt hw i feel bt i dont know hw and where to start. one of my colleagues know hw i'm feeling coz she had the same experience before bt still the reason to separate was not the same. I am shocked at the rate of how i have become so materialistic in such a short period of time.. I think i need some time to cool down and think through things.. i dont want to make any decisions now because i am afraid that if i do, i will regret later on.. it is easy to say it but to bring it all back again, it will definitely take a lot more effort. till then even if i do put in that much effort, i dont think things will be the same anymore..
Friends
One happy thing that happened this week----> I found a part of my primary school friends using Facebook!!! Wow friends that i have lost touch with ever since i graduated from school. I am certainly amazed by technology.. heh Maybe i should organise a gathering for all soon. Bt it seems like they are all overseas studying! hmm we'll see how it goes~
Wow.. it's mean a damn long period of time since i last blogged. Guess i've been too lazy and whatsnot to even start blogging.. we've got facebook wah..heh but anyways.. i'm doing good in what i'm doing except! that today a girl came up and asked me how to do a p5maths question and i did it wrongly! kns until her friend had to come up to me and tell me that what i did was wrong.. :( haha so the moral of the story is: teach chinese :) waha so paisey felt like digging a hole and burying myself inside.
Love
L-O-V-E this 4 letter word is so simple yet so complicated at the same time. I am having the feeling of being at the crossroads.. the choice is to be or not to be. i do not know and i am afraid to choose. I have been having these thoughts for more than a month already. Ever since i finished watching the BBF, i started having wild thoughts. It's every girl's dream to be with a $_$ guy but even if the guy isnt $_$ at least he should be manly or with a strong personality or something? sighs i dont know la. but the Gu Jun Pyo lovestruck thingy seems to have died down but the rollercoaster in my heart hasnt stop! arrgh i do not know what to do now man. sucks.. arrgh i want to tell someone abt hw i feel bt i dont know hw and where to start. one of my colleagues know hw i'm feeling coz she had the same experience before bt still the reason to separate was not the same. I am shocked at the rate of how i have become so materialistic in such a short period of time.. I think i need some time to cool down and think through things.. i dont want to make any decisions now because i am afraid that if i do, i will regret later on.. it is easy to say it but to bring it all back again, it will definitely take a lot more effort. till then even if i do put in that much effort, i dont think things will be the same anymore..
Friends
One happy thing that happened this week----> I found a part of my primary school friends using Facebook!!! Wow friends that i have lost touch with ever since i graduated from school. I am certainly amazed by technology.. heh Maybe i should organise a gathering for all soon. Bt it seems like they are all overseas studying! hmm we'll see how it goes~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)