live is like a journey i never wished i had started..~

today's a alright day.. i dint think of HIM much... just once or twice i felt like smsing HIM but dint cuz.. i also dunnoe why.. anyway tmr i'll be going to DA zoo with xh, sm, yt and xh's niece.. hope it'll be fun.. but..but..but.. hui's stupid da sao insisted on coming and gave so many lame excuses just to come.. kaoz when we already told her that it's a like friends gathering she still insist on coming... wad the hell man.. oh yah be4 i forget on thurs i'll be going with the hockey girls to buy groceries for the BBQ on friday at my house... wah i'm so excited can't wait for it to come but on the other hand i hope it wont come so soon... ironic right? but.. cuz if friday comes too quickly it would mean that that would be the last time all the hockey girls are gathering together for the same cause and it's going to be damn sad lor... so though i'm looking forward to it.. i also hope that it wont come so fast..haiz.. so sad.. in just one and a half years time we managed to bond so quickly.. and it's really sad to see us going separate ways so soon.. too soon. i guess wad ppl say is really true.. we dont know to treasure ppl around us until it's too late then we realise that we dont want to lose them... haiz :( when i first saw my present team mates.. i was like DUH!!!!!!!! am i really going to team with them? they are like so bitchy! sucks man.. but after i got to know them.. they're indeed very nice ppl who nv fails to crack up lame jokes during training and gossip behind coach's back.... haha really fond memories i have now.. when i read grace's blog, she said she envied us ( us as in the whole hockey team) for being like so close to one another cuz i guess her touch rug's team mates dont like her?! haiz.. but wont this make parting easier for her? not like us...( weird to say that huh?) haha dunnnoe la this few days becoming quite weird in my actions.. or maybe i should call it STYLE? hahaha yah so i'm planning to decorate the function room so it's going to be very cool on that day haha and give everyone a surprise! lolz ;) feel like pulling in a few ppl to help me but.. i want to give them a surprise leh..... hmmm.... how? guess i just have to do everything myself lor.. what to do? hope tmr i'll enjoy myself in the morning i'm going to have maths tuition and it's the first lesson and it's a guy tutor hope he's not too cute( or i cant concentrate) or too ugly ( or i'll puke :|) haha yeah.. that's bout all in today's entry nothing much lor... just hope that everything will be fine tmr... ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Is L0v5 in E a|r?

haiz... think this few days i'm really very depressed thanks to HIM.. yeah it's that HIM again the same old HIM... haha anyway.. just this week i met him on the bus and at the bus stop.. i cant stop thinking about him.. non-stop even when i'm with my close guy friend.. darn! aren't i a bitch.. sucks man.. yeah anyway something damn shitty happened just now.. cuz i was looking for someone with ink jet printer then i asked swimming cap if she know anyone la.. she told me concrete (a guy from her class) have but i think i saw wrongly and thought that she meant red colour(another guy from her class) so i kept smsing concrete thinking that he is red colour... darn and i even scolded him cuz he didn't know who i was when we were in the same tuition group?! aiyah it's very confusing cuz i was so messed up at that point of time and luckily i called swimming cap to clear things up or i would have embarrassed myself until dunnoe wad.. kaoz... really very paisey! haha but at least concrete is nice enough not to be angry with me.. haha..oh yah be4 i forget just now i went to jp with TT and jr then when TT saw the cd he wanted to buy he started to scream and attempted to hug me!!!!! luckily i siam fast enough... haha if last time maybe i not have budge but now.. my hug is not for him... haha but seriously speaking we really look like couple lor... but... too bad la i got over him and love sick over the other guy liao.. kaoz.. he also like another girl so though we behave like couple.. both our hearts are made lonely by another guy and girl.. yeah very sad lor.. sometimes i feel like asking him to be my bf just to fill up the loneliness i have everytime i think about HIM yeah.. HIM the HIM in all my entries.. but to think of it.. like not fair to TT lor.. so i just got rid of that stupid thought.. Are crushes that agonising? if they aren't why are all my crushes all agonising? i'm always so close to being together with that guy and then suddenly overnight everything just *POOF* gone.... haiz... dunnoe la anyway i think it's improving already la.. or izit my own wishful thinking? sucks.. i dunnoe just to end of with a quote i read somewhere from the net.. here it goes "i love you in silence cuz in silence i love u with all my heart, i love u in loneliness cuz in loneliness no one owns u but me.." so sad right the quote? but it's exactly how i'm feeling now.. no one understands but you...

sometimes the things we want to 4get are the things we need to talk about most~

Haiz... what can i say? life just sucks.. today got scolded by mathai for not handing in assigments on time.. woa lao.. as i've said in my previous entry, i flunked most of my sub.. but what he said really makes sense lor.. if i cant even do 3 chapters what about the rest of the 27 topics man? it will be worse... so i heeded his advice to start practicing but the worse shit is that just now i tried to do the simplest topic surds and logarithm and fucking hell! i cant even do the simple shit.. for one bloody question worth 3 marks.. i actually wasted an hour for the solution... damn arh... what's happening man? i think i got a weird habit that is i MUST finish what's on my hands be4 proceeding on so the same for maths question.. even if i cant do it i'll rack my brains but still.. haiz i'm really lost liao.. i cant do anything good la.. think i'm cursed or wad. and fuck! i dunnoe la just very vexed now.. all the hw piling up but no mood to do.. just keep sticking to the tv.. SUCKS!!!!!!! but alast.. at least today something i wished had happened.. actually happened not exactly what i wished for.. but close.. hehe anyway is cuz i met HIM on the bus.. not exactly meet la cuz be4 me and sm left school i heard him behind us but he walked away after that but when we crossed e road liao HE was somewhere near us and gosh we took the same bus but sad enough when i was alighting he walked behind me and said hi and say that he didn't see me on the bus? am i so small to be missed? if i were him and if i didn't want to see that particular person i would have said the same thing but i dunnoe what is he thinking about man... if only i had magic and possess him and make him tell me what he's thinking.. haha cramp la~ anyway.. after he msged me yesterday, i got those weird feelings again so i've decided liao.. now whatever msg i want to forward to him i'll just do it.. cuz i've got a feeling that he feels the same? hahaha a bit thick skin la if i think lidat but to me.. that's the greatest condolence i have now.. :(

life sUCKS~

haiz.. today just got back my maths paper and damn! i failed.. only got 12.5/60.. what the hell lor..among all my friends, i'm the worse lor... sucks! (besides caleb) that is.. haha but haiz.. also not say i nv work hard but i also dunnoe what happened that it turned out lidat.. woa lao.. think the bitch is going to kill me... oh yah.. another thing, this morning HE msged me!!!!! haha i was happy to receive his msg or should i say bleaming! hahaha but i dunnoe leh.. before he sent me the msg i dint have that kind of feeling but haiz... when i told wp and showed her the msg he sent me.. she told me to read between the lines... the msg is about" a little dog asking his mother what is happiness and she told heim that happiness is on his tail so he chased after his tail everyday but still could not catch up with it... so his mum told him just to walk straight and happiness will be there cuz it will follow him wherever he goes.." after reading the msg i dont understand it at all.. but after wp told me.. i thought about it and i sort of like figure it out lor... was he telling me not to try to hard? but.. haiz... i really feel like telling him leh.. yesterday he saw me in the canteen then i think he actually wanted to say hi de but i was with my guy friend so i just look away.... AREN'T I A BITCH? sucks man.. then just now also he went to the photocopying shop a few times and i was just there... wanted to say hi but i think the situation like very awkward lidat.. woa lao... shen ar.. jiu jiu wo ba... i've never felt this way before.. actually seriously speaking, i really want to know what he is thinking now and what's his impression of him of me cuz i really hope that we could be together.. haiz...... but i see now the timing also not suitable cuz we both still studying and my study SUCKS! so haiz... dunnoe la i will always feel depressed when i'm thinking about this.. my love life stinks so does my study life... how? argh... =(

Tr0y r0x!!!!!

hehehe.. yesterday went to Lido to watch Troy with my civics tutor AK and classmates but turned out that fad(my class rep) got some communication breakdown with AK then end up he didnt buy enough tickets for everybody so.. in e end AK had to sacrifice himself and another girl forgo her ticket.. wah.. the movie was FABULOUS!!!!! and it really deserved the 5 stars ***** rated in Straits times.. though i read one report bout the story being a little unreal, i still think that it is the best movie i've watched so far... my gosh in the movie.. BRAD PITT, ORLANDO BLOOM, wah.. all the CUTE GUYS!!!!!!!!!! argh... cant stand it.. the movie started at 7 and ended around 10 by the time i reached home waz like 11.15 liao.. luckily mum and dad asleep liao if not i sure will get nagging de... in the morning i went to do CIP for Women's day ... quite boring la nothing to do except to write numbers on contestants hands... sianz... i stand unitl my leg got blister... sucks lor.. just for that measly few hours of CIP... :| after the CIP we(me, fad, yana,yvonne) went shopping and i bought a R0XY bad for fishball for her birthday.. cuz i dont think i'll have time to go out to help her buy... i'm going to work hard for e 'A's lor.. this time mid yr i think i dint make it again... also dunnoe how.. everytime study liao still fail... SUCKS.. i'm going to mug for the whole bloody june holidays lor... maybe take a break now and then but i must really work hard or else... i'm doomed! haiz... just now went studying at bitchy tan's house.. dint really do much, just attmepted a few NMR questions and then keep getting stuck... dunnoe how.. haiz... JC life really sucks! should have gone to poly instead.. if not for HIM i wouldn't have stayed in JJ.. cuz i thought we would be 2gether.. but i guess not ler... (the him is the same him as the previous entry de..) did i like him already at that time? i dunnoe also.. haiz..... LIFE SUCKS but Tr0y R0x! hahaha a bit no connection huh.. but who cares this is all just for me and you to read.. read liao then must forget huh.. lolz k la that's all for now still need to go check mail... hmmm.... parents not bad yet and so is my dinner... ARGH!!!!! super hungry~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SportZ~ daE~

yawn... today's my school's annual sports meet and BOY was it fun!!!! hahaha OWENS won tug of war CHAMPION and i'm really very happy bout it... hehe we won the title last year too so it's like the second year running.. hope that next yr would be da same.. (though i wont be around) to support and participate.. haiz.. anyway ya i really enjoyed myself cheering and screaming and BLOWING THE WHISTLE!!!!!! haha and i think got one J1 got damn fed up with me.. but... WHO CARES!!! she can go home for all i care cuz if she think it's so easy to get the attention of all the people.... aiyah whatever la.. SHE's a bitch anyway... and now... to the thing that has been bothering me the most today.. WP passed me his photo and i was like.... duh! i dunnoe also but i had the urge to tell him that i like him.. but the barrier that i have to overcome are his good and "pretty" friends.. i seriously hope that he can consider us to be together cuz i've got the feeling that he's the right guy for me.. but wad would i do if he lets his friends know- since they are such hateful ppl?(at least to me?)haiyo.. i also dunnoe leh.. i have no one to tell to... and i'm like quite sick of writing in my diary cuz i'm really afraid that someone would read it.. then i'm DOOMED!!!!! yah so back to the topic.. so how sia? i'm in a lost man... actually there's two things i'm worried about now... one is i've got a real close guy friend whom i had a crush be4 but now no more liao.. and i can't help but got the feeling that he thinks that i'm attached ler... and the damn shit problem is that if me jr wp and jas are standing together he will like pretend nv see me and that really breaks my heart.. i know that he's a real nice guy cuz he nv spends individual time with girls in school but i dunnoe about what he does outside school hours... haiz how i hope i can know him better but i think the chance is very minimal... dunnoe la getting depressed everytime i think about it... and the worse shit is that i will always pretend nv see him if he walks pass me.. why am i lidat? sucks!!!! izit because i treat him lidat that's why i'm just getting a taste of my own medicine? :~( GOD!!!!!! i dunnoe la.. now i feel that i only got two choices.. one, is to forget him(bt i know it is going to be real difficult) Two is to let nature take its course... if until i graduate i still have the feelings then i'll let him know lor... guess that's the only thing i can do now.. :| oh yah.. tmr my whole class will be down at ngee ann city to do CIP and then after that AK going to treat us to watch .. hope that it'll be enjoyable... yeah that's long enough for a second entry liao.. nitezz~ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Examz suck!

woa lao still got one more day to my last paper.. got mixed feelings now want e papar to come sooner so i can play and enjoy but dont want it to come so fast so i can study more but.. but.. i'm not in the mood to study.. shucks! notes in front of me but i'm busy typing away... haha haiz life just sucks for me.. and the worse shit is that i think i've got the world's shittest p*****s!