Forgotten

It's times like this where i feel forgotten, forgotten in your world. Saw you online @ FB but didnt initiate chat. Thinking that you are online, i purposely signed into MSN thinking that you would come up and chat, but still, it's that silence. Been busy the whole day and back late, but no sms. Thinking that you MIGHT drop me an sms/call and ask where am i, but.. Is this the space you are looking for? If so make it clear to me. Well, what can i say? this kind of silence will only leave us further apart but if that's what you want, i will quietly walk away, slowly but surely. I am tired of this relationship already. Very very tired and i dont think i am suitable for u..

Brokenness

I really don't understand how can someone make me happy memories and at the same time make me feel so broken? Asking you gf to leave u alone?? I really think that I am very silly crying and feeling very sad knowning well that in your eyes, you simply don't give a damn.. Was I really wrong to have given ourselves a second chance? If I hadn't, maybe I would be spared from all this heart broken ness. Today I've seen how hardhearted you can be towards me.. Maybe it was me who took the wrong step in the beginning but don't u have a role to play in all these? Sometimes I wished I could be brave enough to just walk away from all these but deep inside I knew I couldn't just walk away ignoring how I feel in my heart. All the cover-ups, all the stupid SMS and phone calls?! I called you because I felt lonely.. My phone dint even ring at all the whole day. Like I was forgotten.. Do you ever had such a feeling? Guess you would never be able to feel how I am feeling now just like how you will never understand me no matter how much I wished you would and make concessions for me. Am I just like any other of your exs, due to be on your expired list? :~(

What's the point of staying together if you're nt happy in it? The unhappy memories supercede the happy ones? Or maybe we have given up on giving ourselves or creating happy memories for us.. We are just too cowardly, afraid of being the one to say that we want quits. I'm tired.. Tired of you, of myself. Think I've hated myself more than ever since I got into this relationship. Many regretful things too.. Things I wished I hadn't done, things that I've said that hurt u and of course things that u say that will break my heart over and over again. Maybe this time round we will have the break for good.. How I wished I could fill all these spaces on my blog with unforgettable memories or happy memories that we hold on to, but instead this has become a channel for me to express my unhappiness towards you and how much I wished at times we understood each other more, times where we show our love for each other.. But I'm uncertAin that such a time would ever come.. For now, I just wished that I was alone, maybe I just wasn't ready..