Brokenness

I really don't understand how can someone make me happy memories and at the same time make me feel so broken? Asking you gf to leave u alone?? I really think that I am very silly crying and feeling very sad knowning well that in your eyes, you simply don't give a damn.. Was I really wrong to have given ourselves a second chance? If I hadn't, maybe I would be spared from all this heart broken ness. Today I've seen how hardhearted you can be towards me.. Maybe it was me who took the wrong step in the beginning but don't u have a role to play in all these? Sometimes I wished I could be brave enough to just walk away from all these but deep inside I knew I couldn't just walk away ignoring how I feel in my heart. All the cover-ups, all the stupid SMS and phone calls?! I called you because I felt lonely.. My phone dint even ring at all the whole day. Like I was forgotten.. Do you ever had such a feeling? Guess you would never be able to feel how I am feeling now just like how you will never understand me no matter how much I wished you would and make concessions for me. Am I just like any other of your exs, due to be on your expired list? :~(