unhappiness

i dont think there's such a thing as "Happily Ever After" even for married couples i dont think that such a thing even exists especially when the 2 ppl involves me. i'm really selfish, self-centered. u dont know what i want and what i need. what u ever do is to ever give in to me. where's your personality? where's your temper? gone. you always say you are there waiting for me, you will love me. your loving really made me suffocate. or maybe like what u say i'm the one making myself suffocate or what.. but i really feel that our lives are so different now, we'll never ever cross paths. you in ns and me studying now. we have to make an effort to meet up and travel up and down. now u will tell me that u dont mind travelling,i really dont know what to say lei.. you always give in to me and just dont want to fight for what u really want. i can tell u now that if u still want to be in this relationship with me, more of such things will happen. we are just 1 day short of our anniversary, but just looking back at my entries, maybe for the past one month or even longer, we have more quarrels then happy times la. it's wearying me down. u definitely will say that i'm always the one picking trouble with you and that u are happy in this relationship but i'm not la. i'm not happy when we quarrel every now and then. AT THIS VERY MOMENT. you are sleeping coz u have a headache and u ask me to cheer up.. ON MY OWN? how man? self- entertain? i know u will be very angry when u read this entry but this is really what i want to say before u tell me that it's very late for u to stay up already coz u have to work 630 tmr. i dont know la maybe we are just not right for each other and waiting for the right time to end all this for good. i dont know how are we ever to solve all this :( all this nonsense things that can be avoided if your gf hadnt been me :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((