dont step into my heart`

back from m'sia for quite a while already.. haiz and so so so much bad things have happened recently.. finally my appeals for nus and ntu have been rejected. that's my fate but i've yet to come to terms with it..i just cant! yest jr called me and was crying on the other line saying that she had been rejected too and had nowhere to go now.. am i better off than her? maybe la.. at least i've got sim to go but is that what i really want? although i've always wanted to set up my own business but do i have to study business? maybe i'm still not sure of what i want in my life.. seriously.. when she called me yest i felt so helpless too.. never in my life have i had this feeling.. really bad.. a feeling of being left behind from all my friends.. this kind of feeling is indescribable and only those who are in the same situation as me will understand.. OTHERS WHO CLAIM THAT THEY DO, DON'T! i thank u all for keeping up with my whines but FOR GOODNESS SAKE u all really dont know what i'm going through now.. haiz i'm drained of my energy already. besides being super vexed with the application to uni the woman at home is also giving me hell.. i hate to elaborate on it, so i shan't. but i just want to make a point. she insists that i go out to shop and waste money but in the first place she was the one who dint allow me to go work at Hui's place coz she said is LOW-CLASS.. HELLO???????? i'm not even a graduate la. what can i complain when i've got a job that pays $6.50 per hour and $9.7o for OT? WTF.. she's been yelling at me for the past few days over stupid things that i've got no power over.. that somebody crashed our car can be linked to me not getting into uni.. damnit. now tell me. WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH NOW? i may be the same me who laughs loudly and playful when with friends, but when the night settles in, my heart aches for myself again. damn. i'm not trying to be poetic here but seriously this is how i feel deep inside. everytime i see my friends all getting ready and excited over their uni camps and i've got nothing to rejoice about my heart just aches. :(