end of the world

i think what aloy said about the end of the world is coming is TRUE.. maybe not for others but definitely for me. damn.. so many things happened recently and i'm not on track to settle all at once.. haiz.. my nus and smu application got rejected and now still waiting for the bloody ntu to reply me.. i was really feeling very down recently.. though i may not show it on the outside but seriously, inside me.. my heart is really broken.shattered. did i not work hard enough to earn myself a place in the university? but my grades this time were the best i had since i started JC.. so? what can i ask for more? maybe except my GP la.. but my maths is really gone case already lor.. haiz :'( i was really feeling very very very sad when i heard all my other friends looking forward to their uni life and which course they had to choose. but for me? I'VE GOT NOTHING TO CHOOSE FROM!!!!!!!!! haiz.. ok la SIM may have accepted me but so what? that's not the kind of uni life i was looking forward to when i made my choice to enter JC. rights? but again am i the cause of this whole shit? i think so.. and the worse thing.. the adverse support my mum has given me makes me feel that the whole world is crumpling down on me. she expects me to go work at some voluntary work and that i dont get paid?! WTF.. she everytime keep saying that she go out work so hard then i slack at home.. how come she dont understand the main purpose of her working so hard is because SHE IS PAID? damn. and i'm like working for free.. still must travel to HOUGANG.. fuck. i'm really very pissed lor.. even when i'm seriously sick she also say i act sick to stay at home.. damn. and the worse thing? i had to pay for my medical bills. see la, with this kind of mother i really feel that life is meaningless for me lor.. i really cannot stand it anymore.. she is like pushing me to the edge already.. i had ENOUGH! the comparision between me and my sis is also.. haiz why she just cannot get the idea into her thick skull that me and sister ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!? and that i cannot become like her? haiz.. dunnoe la.. like what i told aloy maybe this is what God has planned for me and it would be a better choice.. But still i hope i can still get into NTU.. that would be my best birthday present : so long