i'm really ultra sad

Firstly, i must apologise to fishy that i called u that day and sobbed like mad and somemore u were using your hp to call me :X but i felt slightly better after that but i was really unwell. Today's worse. last night i couldnt even sleep.. my stomach felt so bloated and i felt ultra nauseous.. arggh couldnt get back to sleep until 3+ and i had to wake my mum up to ask her for some medicine. sigh.. sucks man.. Secondly i must apologise to tek kah that i ps u to go watch the NDP preview but i really felt too weak and sick to go out. Just want to catch up on my rest at home.. :((( so sorry girl.. Thirdly, i need to apologise to the girl whom i had agreed to rent my choco fountain to coz last min i backed out, too sick to travel all the way to kembangan to pass u. I think she wont even read my blog but still i want to apologise to her. arrgh. i'm like so paranoid now.. just now in the morning when i woke up i felt so weak then i went back to sleep again then during the midst of my rest, many ppl called my hp and everytime my phone rang i quickly jumped up hoping that it was aloy who had called, but apparently it was just my own wishful thinking. i kept calling him, hmmm ok maybe like thrice but his phone was off. i juct couldnt get him when i am feeling so weak and sick now.my phone's like stuck with me now 24/7 lest i miss any of his calls even when i'm in the toilet. peeps, it's this bad u see.. :(( yesterday at tekong was real bad, coz we dint even spend the time together. We were separated the moment we reached there and i hanged out with his sis and mum the whole afternoon together. sigh the goodbye part was the worse and everytime i think about it, i just feel like crying, even now.. i promised him that i wouldnt cry and that i really did try my best to suppress my emotions but it was really very very saddening. :`( on the ferry back to mainland singapore, i tried my best to hold back my tears and luckily jr called me to ask me about tuition stuff so my mind was away from it just for a while.. later on his brother came and picked us up from changi jetty and dropped me off at lavender. i have to admit, the moment i got off the car, i started crying like mad. it's like everything being wrapped up for so long that i finally managed to release my emotions.. i admit that i'm a crybaby and that i cried all the way from lavender to clementi. i was sobbing real hard and my nose was like so blocked, but i just couldnt care less. on 184, i still couldnt stop. i just sobbed and sobbed all the way home. when i was back my eyes were ultra swollen but i couldnt care less. luckily no one was home yet and i quickly went to bathe just in case he called. Thankfully he did call but we only managed a 2 mins and that he had to hang up already. lights out was at 11 and the time he called me was like at 1058 and he hadnt bathed. sigh.. i started crying when i heard his voice over the phone but i knew i had to stop it if not i would be wasting our time on the phone. it's like so many more days before he will book out and today's only the 1st day. sigh hopefully things would get better next week and that i would stop crying.. :(( Thank u peeps out there who tagged me to ask me to be strong. i've tried and will continue trying. I love u guys.