i got a heavy heart

OK. that's it. No more crying and heartaches because all of those i had already done and there's this numbness in me. aloy's enlisting later and no matter how much i hate to admit it or even hating that time had passed so quickly, i've got no choice. Seriously after crying for like two days straight, i wonder if i had no more tears.. sigh.. it's quite bad. the feeling is like as though i watched an ultra sad korean movie that i'll really cry my heart out. i have to admit that i'm really not a strong person. No matter how hard i tried to hide my emotions, the tears still came out and when i tried to control it, the worse it got. yesterday aloy wrote my a letter and the letter sort of comforted me, but still i cried after reading it. sigh.. the atmosphere in the house is like very tense now coz everyone knows that aloy wont be back for another 2 weeks. for some it may be like only 14 days but for someone in a relationship, it's actually quite a long time coz anyone who is in a relationship, wouldnt want any separation from the one they love and so do i. But anyway, i thought it through when i was bathing yesterday and sort of "xiang kai le" there's nothing i can do to stop him from enlisting or whatsoever, so maybe i should go with an open heart and that life will still carry on. No one would care that my heart is aching or what so why should i torture myself? anyways this is not a separation but a time for us to grow in our own independent ways. Maybe this is the time for me to spend more time with my family and friends and even with myself and GOD. This is the time when i commit all i have to GOD and let him plan my way. It may sound absurb to non-believers but indeed, everything is much easier and the load is lighter when we commit all our burden to the Lord. So now, even though i still feeling a little upset that aloy's gg into army already, i'm a little looking forward to the next 2 weeks that i will spend with GOD, family, friends and myself. Hope that this 2 weeks would be a time for me to mould my character when he's away and that when the 2 weeks' up i would be ready as a new and better person to pick him up from pasir ris.. Just keep your fingers crossed that i wouldnt cry and paisey myself later when i'm at tekong.. arrgh keep me in your prayers okie? take care peeps