sucks

ok.fuck.yesterday was the shittiest day of my life.. what can be embarrassing than to embarrass yourself in front of the guy u like? damn i was like wanting to kill myself.. i was running to the toilet leh.. so fast that i slipped and fell right onto the floor.. kaoz.. it was really super duper paisey.. kaoz and now my knee hurts. ok. whatever. just dont feel like seeing him anymore.. but seriously come to think of it, i think the more i dont see him the more i dont like him already.. heez~ or maybe i should say i think i gotta crush on someone else.. haha and the person is... -drum rolls- Bryan! and guess what? he's from new town and one year younger than us.. yes. u and me.. jie di lian... :P haha woa lao he's super duper cute lor.. especially after his softball trainings his face red red de.. wah.. i see already can melt sia.. very cute. yah la come one it's just a crush and i cant foresee us being together. ha! (as if we would. he dont even know me) lolz. :P yah la but he's just super cute. last time in new town i dont think i ever see him be4 haiz.. if got then maybe i would have gotten to make friends with him.. hehe yah anyway this few days i've been feeling quite FUCked up with SM. i dont know what's wrong with the both of us. keep getting into quarrels. it's been lidat ever since the starting of this year. i keep getting pissed by her. and the fuckiest shit is that i think she doesn't regard me as impt as he best friend AH MENG! damn. whatever la say i'm jealous or what i dont give a damn. she asked her out to watch brotherhood. blah blah blah.. forgetting bout me. damn. maybe in her heart i'm just no one. seriously speaking, i don't really like ah meng coz i think that she don't really like me either. i dont make friends with ppl who dont make friends with me... that time go visit elizabeth in the hospital she already show that she a bit bu shuang me la but maybe partly is coz of what sm complains to her about me? yah la i dont really give a shit. this friendship is encountering many problems and i'm quite sick of having to keep up with her mood swings and stuff. maybe we have held on for too long and it's time to let go? yah la i dont know. tmr i meeting aloy to pass him his stuff then we going for dinner. hope it'll be enjoyable. ciaoz~ :