New beginning

I didn't expect to abandon my blog for so damn long and finally I'm blogging frm my iPhone!! I guess it's only times like this I rmb that I still have this channel to vent my frustration.. It's been almost five years already but sometimes I still feel damn sucks. If you can't carry outbwhat you've told me then y did u even say it in the first place?? Is it just to make me feel happy for that one second? Coz at the end of the day, with one " I forget" or " I already fall asleep" as your excuse and u expect me to forgive u? Y do u want me to make me feel that u really cared bt after a while throw me down frm heaven again? To I this may be a small issue bt it has been repeating itself and I am damn sick of it.. Can't u grow up? And y can't I be just more Xiao sa and just forget this whole thing? What is exactly holding me back? Sigh.. Maybe I have been watchig too much " bai quan nv wang" and start to live in fantasy again but today's matter is like dejavu.. It has happened so often. Am I really just your weekend partner??