i really dont have the keys to your heart..

haiz.. so sian.. now after As liao everyday also work ,work, work.. sometimes i wonder why i am working so hard lor.. seriously.. how much money can i earn? i think my body is in a very bad condition now .. everyday very late then sleep next day have to rush to work again.. haiz evil cycle leh.. like the web of love lidat.. EVIL.. and can never get out of it.. damn i read my previous entry and felt that i was really really heartbroken at that time but dunnoe leh.. i feel that now maybe we're just friends lor.. seriously.. that day when i asked him if he missed his ex he said no but i felt chills lor.. woa lao what kind of damn feeling is that la.. sucky.. haiz i come online everyday hoping that he would and thank god.. he would but so what? i think he somewhat knows and is aware of my feelings la but SO WHAT?! no one makes the move we'll remain friends forever.. but that's not what i want.. I WANT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS! GET IT?! argh.. he'll never know it.. fuck. why? if u dont like me why did u do all those things in the first place? u want me to fall in love with u izit? if that's what u want.. your wish came true ok!? damn. i'm getting emotional.. haha but the stuff he did are really the first time a guy ever did to me la.. sending me small notes to tell me to jia you during As.. christmas wishes together with melted choco.. haha and guess what?! we almost cohabited for a day.. but my mother dint allow me to do so.. haha of course i dint tell her that i'm staying with him la..if not all reading this please attend my funeral.. haha dunnoe la.. i'm feeling so damn confused by all this shit man.. seriously.. how i wish everything could be back like in the past.. me not liking u.. treating u just like my buddy.. i wish i may.. my wish will never come true till the day i give up on u.. chinese have a saying.. good cow never eat grass that it has passed.. but me leh.. too bad la i'm not a cow?! hahaha whatever talking nonsense now.. guess what? my occupation now is part-time tutor cum tuition centre assistant cum child care assistant.. how cool can it be? hahaha i'm only currently tutoring this china boy.. he's 14 oh my! he's quite cute leh.. haha maybe i should take a pic with him.. lolz :P i think his mum is out to cheat my money la i told her i want $150 for 8 lessons and that's super cheap liao lor and she gave me $120 for 8 lessons.. !"£$%^&*&^%%$!££"$!%"&! damn it lor.. but aiyah i see that they are not very well off so yah la.. kind ppl like me are hard to find.. hahaha must ji de if not the A level results come out will zao nie.. hahahaha ok la i gtg liao.. blogged long enough ler this time.. ciaozzzzzzzzz