Ah-nei-you-ha-sei-you!

muhaha.. it's been quite a while since i last blogged.. though i was online practically the whole of last week, but i was just too lazy to blog.. muhaha.. yeps.. so now i'm attending bible lessons from Arthur.. maybe someday i may really become christian but i think for the time being maybe not yet cuz i need some time to really accept christ.. oh wells everything is not really going well for me.. i dint land myself the AES admin job.. damn must be coz i can only start in MAY that the bloody woman rolled her eyes and just eliminated me. fuck. whatever but sad to say... bye to my $1000 a month sit-there-do-nothing job.. sigh.. god save me.. sucks.. tell u guys something.. that day when i acc sm to see KOK for our bible lesson we went MAC and so after we finished everything i hadn't finished my drink and guess what? he just took it and drank from my straw.. i was like oh my God! but he like just drank it like normal.. even if it is TT he would remove my straw and drink from the cup la.. what the heck..i'm not trying to say anything here but hmmm... maybe i'll keep ya updated on the happenings.. muhaha last sat aloy asked me out but i couldnt coz i was super packed.. had to meet up with TT and JJ peeps since he got into army and at night got gm's birthday.. what the heck and i postponed it to this coming sat.. not really looking forward to it coz i look like a pile of shit now.. damn. really missed TT.. i felt a pang of jealousy when i knew that he was meeting another girl ALONE after the meeting with us.. damn why sia.. i should know that i dont have any feelings for him liao.. but why now this? fuck. but seriously i think it takes both hands to clap lor.. maybe we both have been behaving the wrong way that even my cousin mistaken us and even wanted to tell the bitch that i'm in a relationship.. -_- what the heck la.. damn.. yah la now i'm not asking for anything but just hope that nature takes its course and i will accept anything that comes my way.. today i went to SIM to apply for the business course coz till now i havent receive any letter from any of the unis and hopefully no news is good news.. and i had to take picture using those auto type of machine. damn guess what happened. i put in the coins and i thought i had to press some buttons and it started snapping.. how cool in the end one the pictures showed me bending down to examine the button.. how fuck.. hahaha but it was quite an experience... :P yeps fri i'm gg down to the attitude dance studio with JT and SM for some cardio dance class hope it will help me shake off some fats.. muhahahahaha time to exercise.. lolz k la that's all for now.. tmr i still have to go down to MOLE.inc to help out and shun bian gope some nice biscuits.. hahahahaha an-yeong-yi-kay-sei-you!

8th april

sianz.. i just woke up not long ago and later still have to go kumon to work..damn actually i'm feeling kinda lost now TT is in army.. why huh? haiz so sad.. damn.. yest i went back JJ and true enough AK was telling me stuff about jesus and wants to have 4 sessions with me to tell me all the stuff.. but i was explaining to him the main hindrance is my mum la.. she sort of limit my beliefs.. and my religion is what she believes in.. actually i dont really mind also la but if i have the freedom to choose from what i want.. i would rather.. -_- haiz i dont know la but i dont like christians to be very pushy like keep asking me to convert or what la.. OK?! damn so sian also yest JR ask me if i want to look for a customer service job at MOE from 10-2 i think it's good la.. one month lidat can earn $600+ dollars plus all my other tuition jobs sure can get a thousand dollars de lo.. hopefully i can secure that damn job.. yest went for the interview and i screw up the whole shit.. FCUK. the damn man was like so bu shuang with me lor.. haiz or maybe he is like what sm said that he has attitude problem.. but still i hope i can scrape through lor.. i still at a dilemma whether should i apply for SIM leh.. coz to think of it $52.50 is NOT a small sum.. but it's like a back road for me la in case i cant get into NTU or NUS (CHOY!) i think i'll consider again before i apply.. SUCKY oh yah btw i've gotten myself an english name.. muhahaha ZUAN peh.. nice and special no ppl have de.. -shy- lolz k la gotta go for lunch liao.. buai

Happy April F00l's Day..--> what e heck

ok.. another day just passed lidat.. actually tmr wanted to go blading with JJ peeps de but Jas couldnt make it so i think the whole thing cancel lo.. sian.. got to go for tuition in the morning tmr.. haiz.. but at least the dog my tutee has at home and the $$ makes me go.. muhahaha.. yest i was watching the "LADY FAN" and in the show one of the guy told the girl he liked "if i could, i would give you all the happiness in the world" woa lao after hearing that sentence i got goosebumps sia.. haha but i really cant imagine the feeling leh a guy that like u until will say this kind of thing.. but will he make good of what he says or just empty promises? haha who knows.. what the heck think i'm talking nonsense again.. haha haiz something's troubling me again.. SUCKY! that day when i know i was shortlisted for the interview i msged my CT and he congratulated me la.. nothing amazing but.. he started tell me stuff about GOD and wanted to meet me outside! goodness.. not say i'm interested in him or what la but somehow i dont have this good feeling.. but i can guarantee that he wont be up to anything.. damn am i contradicting myself? hahahah what the heck la.. tmr gg tuition in the morning then evening gg shopping with fishball peh to buy nicer clothes besides the usual tee shirt and jeans.. sian sun got tuition AGAIN haiz.. earning $$ not easy ah.. now i finally understand.. hahahahahahahaha but it seems like time really flies.. just when i thought i'm still growing up in a glance i'm working already and all the guys around me are enlisting into army already.. time really really flies.. it's so fast.. i read in a mag they said " there's no free lunch in the world except at mum's" haha true right? the only time we wont have to spend money and get a place to sleep and a meal to eat is at mum's mah.. haha saying about enlistment TT gg in liao i better get him a present on sun. a cap perhaps. he wants to wear a bandana.. what is wrong with him.. haha anyone who knows where to get nice and cheap caps TEXT ME PLEASE.. sank u very much :) ok la that's all for today.. ciaozzzzzz

something to be happy about

GREAT! i received the letter for me to go down for interview next thurs for the BA in NTU de.. my goodness finally got a dream come true.. haiz hope it will be smooth for me.. TT going to be enlisted next thurs.. i'm missing him already.. miss him not as in BGR type but as a friend.. no more ppl to acc me to gossip at night.. sigh.. ciaoz

coming home late.. haiz

sucks man.. now every mon----wed i'll only be home after 10 la what the heck.. and i bet bitch is going to show me the famous black face and sing the well-known opera. damn even if i explain to her that I'M WORKING NOT GOING OUT TO PLAY..somehow she'll say i'm talking back to her and blah..blah..blah.. damn. so i dont bother to do so la when she calls to kb i'll play the shut up game. shut up and let her nag the fuck all she wants. i just cant be bothered lor.. seriously.. that day when she said"u everyday go work until so late might as well dont work, stay at home good enough liao" and i was like what the heck la.. you ask me stay at home for what? do homework ar? what the hell la?!?! i think she just dont understand.. then that day i acc aloy go study also must tell her say i gg to visit my teacher.. woa lao also not say i'm doing something bad but haiz.. as usual if i tell her that i'm surely gg to get free tickets to DA OPERA! haha.. anyways.. what can i say man.. working at xue hai is fun la i get to teach the kids and stuff.. really got power to scold and do what i want in class lor.. being a teacher is REALLY SLACK.. seriously lor.. haha no wonder so many ppl want be teacher.. haha hope i can land a place in nie.. haiz.. sian man my love life is a clean SHIT i mean sheet haha.. seeing HIM like nothing also leh.. now this HIM i also is dunnoe which one.. haha maybe is aloy ba or TT or J but i think now i dont really care liao ba.. wait till i go uni.. muhahahaha *evil laugh gotta go liao my fucking eye is itching like hell.. damn

heya!

woa liew.. it's been quite a while since i last blogged.. haiz so much has happened over a short period of time.. think the last time i blogged.. havent get results yet but now the As are out and i cant believe i got B D O what the heck.. but actually i'm not disappointed at all cuz i was expected this kind of shitty grades lor.. just that my GP really made me feel disappointed.. i was expecting a B3 or B4 but fcuk.. i got C5.. damn.. maybe i was overconfident or what la.. but now i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that i can get into NTU NIE.. i really want to go there.. partly cuz there got cute guys! haha that day the guy that talked to us during the open house.. my godness.. haha but i guess cute guys will become not cute after you get to know them.. just like TT? haha i dont know la but haiz.. i just want to be good friends now. FULL STOP.. i dont wanna think of all this shit anymore.. True la i may feel lonely at times but do i really need a guy now? the thought of being burden-fied just turns me off.. and the fact that i cant let my parents know it.. damn.. worse lor.. but true enough sometimes i really think that we're more than friends la.. but so what sia? it just stops there.. we went blading again last week and after that we went to celebrate jas's birthday.. not bad la had quite a lot of fun.. haha although i think blading is really scary.. haha i'm quite terrified of the thought of falling down but i'm determined to learn it well.. haha not gg to let it have the same fate as knitting.. haha i think i'm really have "san fen zhong re du" whatever i like wont last for more than 3 months.. and this is the same towards guys also.. seriously.. i maybe crazy over this guy for some time.. doing everything for him but suddenly one day when i wake up i just feel dumb over all this shit then i realise that i dont really like him that much.. haha what the heck.. aiyah dunnoe la maybe i'm still not matured enough to be in a relationship? but if got any cute guys in uni... MUHAHAHAHAHAHA no la see how ba.. my wish now is just get into uni.. others can wait.. :P seriously.. haha went shopping with sm yest.. bought lots of stuff... i think top shop's really cool man! i think they had this new series of makeup and bath accessories and i bought a body mist from there.. cheap cheap $12.90 only.. haha bought nail enamel from red earth also.. $13.60 this one ex but the colour is the one i've been looking for so peeps if you're reading this call me up if you wanna do manicure! haha i can give you discount.. lolz.. so fun.. today went to eat international buffet at United Square.. very nice but very very very filling.. the food there has a wide range of variety lor and i think the coolest part is that we get to drink fruit juice using test tubes! haha i wanna set up a restaurant using all the chemistry apparatus to eat de.. haha good idea ba.. anyone interested please draft up a business proposal.. hahahaha we can be partners.. i'll consider except TT cuz i know he's out to cheat me! lolz feeling very bloated now.. really very full.. not a good feeling.. okay gotta ciao feeling very warm now.. damn

sigh

i'm sick.not love sick but really sick as in cough,flu and sorethroat. muhahah ok but that's the main point. the thing is. there's these two guys. i told both that i'm sick. One replied " Dont pass to me leh" and the other one said " Let's get sick together" Fine. so what now? i also dunnoe. yest when i saw his friends(before that they were apparently looking for me cuz jas heard them yelling my name) and i dunnoe him except one is my sis's friends they were like all waiting to see me la.. and my sis's friend actually said "jiu yang da ming" What's that supposed to mean sia? he's been telling his friends bout me? but for what? the day before i lent him my mp3 player and his friends thought that we had some sort of ai mei guan xi. in the past i thought so too know.. i also very confused now.. when he told me that i was like a bit shocked la but aiyah.. dunnoe leh!!!!!!!! ARGH howz? he taught me mahjong and i felt that we were like flirting on the mahjong table la.. that's very bad Daniel wont like it.. muhahaha but anywayz i think i'm just going to accept the fact that guys and girls can be good friends so.... we can too.. ciaozzzzzzzzzzzz

CNY!!!!

what is he trying to prove when he goes to buy 4D and the number is my unit number? ok la whatever maybe is my wishful thinking. damn tmr still got tuition with china boy.. sigh ciaoz.. the shitty headache is killing me!!!!

so happy¬

today is the happiest day of my life(2005) in the morning i went over to TT place to learn guitar and i learned the G chords already.. haha he said that's the easiest but when i learn it.. damn.. my fingers are super painful lor.. he say will grow some dead skin there then next time play liao wont be painful le.. but i doubt so.. haha after that we went to east coast to rollerblade.. though we dint get to sun tan but at least i learnt a little of rollerblading.. haha jasmine was holding on to me then when at the slope both of us were so confident but we end up falling and embarrassing ourselves.. haha so paisey lor.. she almost toppled over me but luckily she siam in time or else.. haha she ended up with a big bruise on her knee hahaha and today's also the first time i held hands with a guy but too bad la he's just teaching me how to rollerblade----> TT haha i guess the feeling is really different la.. although we held hands i felt that it was no big deal lor cuz he's not the one mah.. but i suddenly have this feeling that if one is in a relationship it's like carrying a burden and will be super tiring lor.. haiz.. even holding hands this kind of things will make me think of so many stuff.. really ar.. but i really had lots of fun.. after that me TT and jasmine went to far east to shop for new year clothes.. stupid TT wanted to buy new shoes but i told him say that design not nice but ppl insist on buying i wonder what his mum will say.. haha today so paisey la when i went to his house in the morning his mum was at home lor so i went to his room and dunnoe his mum will suspect that we're up to some mischief.. hahaha but please la i won't :P wahahaha really really enjoyed myself today we ate orange on the bus and i say until very loud on the bus "any fresher u have to peel it yourself" haha then got a ang moh guy look at me la.. but who cares.. after that got a few old woman boarded the bus and they look like the witches by ronald dahl? is this how u spell his name? haha dunnoe la just now news got say NTU offering 300 more vacanies for students hope i can get in successfully.. haha btw after i quit my job at MOLE and kumon i'll learn more stuff.. i feel that it enriches my life.. wahahaha ciaoz

haha

i love to hear him say " i'll call u when i reach home" hahaha make me sound so important.. :P

sian

i'm so super bored.. tmr hafta work at kumon then still got tuition with china boy.. if he's going to fang wo ge zi again they're going to get it.. i'm no pushover k.. haha whatever.. sigh..thinking about him now.. wonder if he's doing the same.. sigh* i'm supposed to acc him to highlight his hair today de but thanks to kumon i'm supposed to work till 6.15 then by the time meet liao too late ler.. haiz..all the obstacles.. lolz.. whatever he said to go cut it after CNY so still got hope la to meet up lor.. hope by the time he will still ask me..:P if not yah lor.. like what i've told sm if i dont see the guy i like.. slowly i'll forget about him but this time i dunnoe leh.. i keep having mixed feelings.. sigh* so bored going to sleep soon tmr must wake up early to go sun tanning... ciaozzzzz

shagged¬

oh my god.. so tired today morning sm came over and we went swimming after that had to go kumon to work.. almost doze off again.. damn even though we were super busy at that time.. i think something is wrong.. haha i need kopiko.. whatever.. today i got my pay at kumon.. only a measly $230 haiz.. i think it's so sad la i work there so long liao only to receive such spastic pay.. after work i had to rush to redhill to meet the JJ peeps cuz we meeting to go JR's mother's place for dinner.. so tired qiong here qiong there.. i tot we wont get to communicate today but i was wrong lor.. ever since we started on the choco enterprise.. and till the end of it i guess we had been in contact daily.. something which i look forward to.. heez :) coming thurs i'm going to acc him to have his hair highlighted and trimmed.. i think he's something wrong la.. i thought he just had his haircut though his hair is still as long as ever..:P i called him on the phone just now when we were at the coffee shop to return his call cuz just now i called him to ask for directions and i thought he had nothing to say to me.. i least expected him to say "i want to talk to u".. wahahaha though i was happy to hear that i think i embarrassed myself also la.. cuz i said bye bye almost immediately i finished what i wanted to say cuz i couldnt hear him and also partly couldnt be bothered?! i dunnoe la maybe i should just treat him like my buddy lo.. who says guys and girls can't be good friends? haha.. sat going rollerblading with the JJ peeps hope i wont paisey myself cuz i've never rollerblade before.. haha maybe will end up with scars.. whatever it is i just hope that it will be enjoyable lo.. i've learnt how to knit and he said that if i know how to knit liao and do something for him.. and now i'm wondering what present to give someone when they turn 21? gosh.. peeps out there any suggestion? maybe something cheap, good and meaningful? haha text me if u have any.. ciaozzzzzz

Perish in the name of love

i must say.. yesterday was the most memorable day of my life idunnoe la but i felt that it was lo.. for the first time in my life the guy that i had a crush on actually asked me out to buy CNY clothes.. when we were out i took a liking on a quiksilver shirtn he actually liked it too.. wahaha but too bad the smallest size theyhad is XL which is apparently too big for him.. heez.. yah lor. so we just walked around and we went to pacific plaza thinking that there are so many surf shops there maybe can find something nice but when we went there all the shops were closed liao lor.. so he suggested sitting down to think where we should go next.. haha for that moment i thought he was going to biao bai.. but please lor.. i think i'm too thick skinned to think of it that way.. ppl like me are not worthy of being in a relationship.. argh i hate myself.. but after that he suggested walking to wisma to check out the surf shop over at that side but when we walk there the shop is closed too.. so he suggested that we go drink coffee but i said drink liao wait tonight cannot sleep.. if i'm not wrong i think he asked about thrice if we should go get a cuppa but i said no la.. on one hand is i dont want to go home too late cuz i never tell mum that i'm going shopping.. she'll kill me on the other hand i dont want to be awake until 3+ even though i still did despite not drinking the coffee.. haha haiz i told xy bout it and she said maybe he wants to cosy up la but i doubt that's the case.. but come to think of it.. he's 21 this year and we've known each other for like 5 coming 6 years liao leh and this is the first time he asked me out to go shopping lor.. but when he confided in me that he's having some relationship problems with his classmate for being too popular.. haha i started thinking if he asked me out cuz his friends didn't want to go out with him.. if that's the case.. i'll be super disappointed in him.. damn.. why should my thoughts run wild lidat? :( dunnoe la so sick.. his going for haircut say that he wants to book it on fri but aiyah i dunnoe la so damn confused.. i want to know what he is thinking about.. i guess it's the same for everyone who has a crush lor.. sigh* sometimes i feel like msging him " how i wish i'm a guy so i wouldn't fall in love with you" but i think that it's super duper obvious that i'm trying to biao bai and he 100000000000% wont take me seriously de.. my goodness.. wo bu zhi dao la.. my mind's in a whirl now.. ciaozz think i'll do some knitting before i go to bed tonight.. tmr sm coming over to sun tan hope lime green wont be downstairs and that the sun would be super strong.. watch out for this corner.. haha

:/

gosh.. just now he just asked me out next week to go shopping for new year clothes.. hope it won't be a let down.. sigh.. guess i'm still not ready to let go? but i'll try okie? maybe this shall be my new year resolution ciaoz

the point of no return

i should snap out of it soon.. the day before was fuck.. i blogged but my high class lappy cocked up and great !nothing was saved..!"£$%^^%$££@£!^

are we fated to be?

my gosh.. just now when i couldn't come online i was like praying hard that i could log on.. and if i could it would mean that we were meant to be.. and i couldn't believe it when i actually logged on and saw HIM online.. at first i said hi but he logged off so i thought never mind la at least i saw him online but he came back and we're talking now.. gosh.. i think is i zi zuo duo qing la.. must be i watch too much love dramas liao.. but it really feels good to share your daily events with someone know.. though the person may not be very interested..but i think he alright la.. he like only listen to what i say lor.. but nvm! i happy to see that also.. hope something good turns out.. sigh* nighties

i really dont have the keys to your heart..

haiz.. so sian.. now after As liao everyday also work ,work, work.. sometimes i wonder why i am working so hard lor.. seriously.. how much money can i earn? i think my body is in a very bad condition now .. everyday very late then sleep next day have to rush to work again.. haiz evil cycle leh.. like the web of love lidat.. EVIL.. and can never get out of it.. damn i read my previous entry and felt that i was really really heartbroken at that time but dunnoe leh.. i feel that now maybe we're just friends lor.. seriously.. that day when i asked him if he missed his ex he said no but i felt chills lor.. woa lao what kind of damn feeling is that la.. sucky.. haiz i come online everyday hoping that he would and thank god.. he would but so what? i think he somewhat knows and is aware of my feelings la but SO WHAT?! no one makes the move we'll remain friends forever.. but that's not what i want.. I WANT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS! GET IT?! argh.. he'll never know it.. fuck. why? if u dont like me why did u do all those things in the first place? u want me to fall in love with u izit? if that's what u want.. your wish came true ok!? damn. i'm getting emotional.. haha but the stuff he did are really the first time a guy ever did to me la.. sending me small notes to tell me to jia you during As.. christmas wishes together with melted choco.. haha and guess what?! we almost cohabited for a day.. but my mother dint allow me to do so.. haha of course i dint tell her that i'm staying with him la..if not all reading this please attend my funeral.. haha dunnoe la.. i'm feeling so damn confused by all this shit man.. seriously.. how i wish everything could be back like in the past.. me not liking u.. treating u just like my buddy.. i wish i may.. my wish will never come true till the day i give up on u.. chinese have a saying.. good cow never eat grass that it has passed.. but me leh.. too bad la i'm not a cow?! hahaha whatever talking nonsense now.. guess what? my occupation now is part-time tutor cum tuition centre assistant cum child care assistant.. how cool can it be? hahaha i'm only currently tutoring this china boy.. he's 14 oh my! he's quite cute leh.. haha maybe i should take a pic with him.. lolz :P i think his mum is out to cheat my money la i told her i want $150 for 8 lessons and that's super cheap liao lor and she gave me $120 for 8 lessons.. !"£$%^&*&^%%$!££"$!%"&! damn it lor.. but aiyah i see that they are not very well off so yah la.. kind ppl like me are hard to find.. hahaha must ji de if not the A level results come out will zao nie.. hahahaha ok la i gtg liao.. blogged long enough ler this time.. ciaozzzzzzzzz

heartbroken

ok..fine.. i get your idea.. we HAVE to remain as friends.. thanks for breaking my heart..

so long nv blog liao

woa lao i think it's been years since i last blogged.. fwends who have constantly logged on to see my blogg. sorry to have disappoint u.. haha been very very very busy ever since the exams over plus my high class com is down.. now taking a risk to use my sis's lap top to blog.. haha yeps anyway i've got a new crushie.. and u peeps should know who HE is la.. but too bad.. he doesn't get any of my hints and seems to be out to make me more heartbroken.. haha i dont know la.. keep your fingers crossed for me and hopefully i can write some nice stuff WE did together.. haha ciaoz.. tmr still gotta work at TT great..

Love is like ice. The harder u hold onto it. The faster it will melt.

*sigh* it's halfway thru my As and i really feel like giving up. seriously. my maths paper 1 is 101% gone liao.. haiz dunnoe what's wrong with me also.. fuck i wonder what's going to happen to me. hope i can get at least a bloody E for maths then i can get into NTU NIE.. haiz.. damn it. three more papers and i'll be free liao.. but i dont have that kind of freedom feeling cuz i know i screwed up the maths paper.. i was like day dreaming during the paper wondering what's going to happen to me.. so much things happened recently. haiz yesterday i heard on the radio bout the definition of " Ai Mei" as in love de. And i realised that my relationship with TT may not be that simple afterall.like just friends only? maybe it's ai mei. i think both of us realise it but just dont want to say so like nothing happen lor.. aiyah dunnoe la. i shouldn't be thinking bout all this shit now. this few weeks i hadn't thought about HIM or mentioned anything bout HIM but that day he suddenly msged me. bloody shit. i think that sort of ignited the flame of love.. hahaha whatever u call it. shucks lor.. i feel that we always feel awkward when we see each other in school leh.. hmmm how come huh.. izit a good thing or bad? dunnoe la.. sucks i'm feeling so sick now. got flu and then just now drink pear juice also kena choke. shucks must be something bad going to happen.. : oh wells~ hope the rest of the papers wont be fucky. cuz i've got confident in my chinese and chem papers but it's all fucking chee bye maths paper that's going to drag me down.. Argh! btw if fishy you are reading this.. can i meet u on the 19th then u lend me the xia ri xiang qi vcd? hahahaha ciaoz keep in contact!