:))

It's been only 3 days since i last blogged.. and i feel that it's like quite long huh.. haha yeps.. now too "xing fu" already become very lazy to blog but for the sake of my loyal readers i will blog.. YEs i will.. haa.. today went to school for Maths.. quite alright la.. i mean partial differentiation and stuff.. they may be new stuff but at least i'm learning something not like in IBM class dont even know what the idoit lecturer is talking about.. And !!!!!!! Dearie can help this Maths "pro" with my maths.. guess i'm not such a qualitative person.. not quantitative also.. damns. i'm nowhere. hah.. but nvm la.. i think sooner or later i will find something that i'm good in.. maybe CHINESE?! haha but come to think of it i would rather do chinese, something that i'm good in rather that writing CHIME stuff for sociology and IBM. gosh but do i have a choice? haha.. oh yes.. Dearie, dont worry about not spending enough time with me coz i really dont mind since u are having exams now right? i dont wanna affect your study momentum.. IF not i'll expose u.. haha your 2 Weird but cute things.. YOu should know what right? heh.. next time can blackmail u ar.. muhaha! yeps.. that's all la a short one today.. the weather is making feel like a pig so cold and cosy.. hehe gg to take a short nap before going to Jog with Vivien later and TUITION tonight.. argh` I Love You Dearie.. :-*

:))

Went for JJ's mid-autumn festival today.. wasnt as good as what i had expected.. as in like no other peeps bothered to go back except evofus + kelvin. yeps. haha but we dint do much also there.. partly i had to leave early to meet Dearie.. then go there we only chit chat for a while, ate the durian moon cake until super full and played some very very very exciting game that got me so scared.. haha yeps after that met Dearie at westmall for dinner.. and.. tsk..tsk.. YOU tricked me.. heh guess i was really dumb not to realise that in the plastic bag was a flower.. and i was quite sad when YOU sent me away to buy YOU the hair wax.. but nevertheless, i still love YOU very very very much. :)) hehe.. YOU must work hard for your exams okie.. Jia you! Jia you! sometimes i wished that what i am studying has got some relevance to what you're doing then at least we can discuss YOU know.. hehe.. but nvm.. i give YOU moral support alright.. heh.. oh yes, i was telling YOU about my heart being very pain as in "xing tong" whenever i'm in lecture coz why? i was thinking about YOU :(( or maybe just because i have a weak heart.. haha dont know la but the feelings is like my heart kena squashed lidat and very pain but the pain is like only for a short while only lei.. But it comes everytime i think of YOU or when i miss YOU. maybe i'm sick.. haiz dont know la.. but for now i know i shouldnt think so much. just be your girlfriend wholeheartedly and love YOU like i love myself. heh yeps that's all. i'm feeling tired already.. going to bed soon. I love you Aloy~

love is definitely in the AIR!

heya guys.. dint realise that my previous entries were very depressing.. lolz but i'm happy la. serious. Now that i have him. :) Thanks Aloysius. i love u lots. muack*

:/

Feel that my heart is weighing me down.. Today's Wed which means no school day but i feel so weighed down dont know about what also.. haiz.. this morning, Pei Hwa Pri called me up to do relief teaching and today they wanted me down.. it has always been my Dream to go there to teach coz i know a few little kiddies there from Kumon how i miss them.. but i dint go down coz of YOU. yes YOU. again. by this time u should know very well who u are.. maybe u will think that u dint ask me to go down today and it's that i myself want to go see you.. yah la when i heard that you were sick i had this sick feeling in my stomach.. haha felt like puking also.. :P somemore u told me u feeling giddy and want puke cannot puke.. i've gone through that and i know how sick it feels lor.. so yep yep this time i'm using my heart not my mind to think ler.. so i made up my mind to reject Pei Hwa when the lady called me.. haiz hope this hasnt been a wrong decision coz can u imagine the amount of $$$$$$$$$$ i can earn when i go down? haha until next tues lor.. it's like 5 days X $65 = $325 ka ching! ka CHing! $_$ haha after i've calculated a bit regretful now.. but it's ok la.. to me, you are more important.. heh.. money only mah, can always earn them again right? hehe.. :) yesterday i slacked the whole day.. sucks.. i blogged saying that i wanted to go revise econs and i dint.. this morning also.. woke up and practised the piano for one and a half hour then slacked.watch tv, come online.. i know i shouldnt be doing all this but somehow i cant help it leh.. no motivation to study.. all my NTU peeps are busy with projects when it's their holiday.. so sian also.. OK i make up my mind liao.. tonight i must surely MUG. I must, I HAVE TO! argh.. but my heart is not there la.. everytime i'm reading the notes i feel that i'm just reading the english sentence and not really understanding the meaning i'm supposed to understand. damns ashamed to say, when reading the bible also! yesterday was still quite ok.. the day before was terrible.. and i even had to close it halfway to prepare my heart for GOD. how sinful can i be. *slap myself* haiz sometimes i worry if i'm suffering from amnesia or what lei.. i keep forgetting stuff leh.. simple stuff like taking what bus to valley point i can also keep forgetting.. not say i'm doing it on purpose but i really cannot remember.. yesterday also.. i took out a shirt from the cupboard wanting to change into it.. then suddenly i forgot where i put it ler.. End up i dint even take it out from the cupboard?! oh man.. is this some kind of symptoms? haiz not once liao lor.. but repetitive incidents. and it really sp00ks me.. izit coz i havent been paying much attention when i'm doing that thing that's why i seem so distracted or izit Illness? haiz.. dont know la.. tonight meeting JAs to get my durian mooncakes! SLURRpz.. greedy me.. lolz.. today is indeed rest day for me.. had been exercising for the past few days and my leg muscles are aching.. haha dont know why leh.. quite weird but thurs going to jog with vivien again.. Now, i'm troubled by something. SM wants to go for tornadoes hockey club training on SUn. but Sun usually i go for service.. but if she goes for training on Sun this would mean that no one would accompany me to training on SAt and i'll be the only GIRL there.. i dont want that.. so actually i've come up with a plan. maybe TT u should take over my P5 class on Sat then i can go service with JR until 7 then i rush down for tuition?? how? this is what i think only.. nothing's been confirmed yet. actually i would prefer to go down for training on SAt but come to think of it.. it seems like the weather likes to rain on SAt afternoon then SUn morning the weather is always Good. :) how? Aloysius said that i should put GOD in priority. Yes but if i go for service on Sat i'm also doing it right? Or am i not.. and i shouldnt go find another church to attend if not i'll be church-hopping.. but coz FCBC gonna move to EXpO in december.. haiz i enjoy listening to the Pastors Preaching but the fact that i have to travel so far.. it's not worth the time.. at least this is what i feel.. haiz dont know la.. so many things waiting for me to make decisions and so little memory for me to tap on. what the heck. :(

is LOVE in the air?

Getting lazier and lazier these days.. i mean in the case of blogging.. haha many things wanna share but just too lazy to come blog.. haha today's econs class was fabulous.. i actually understood every single thing the lecturer explained for WHOLE THREE hours.. and i had secretly hoped that the lecturer wouldnt end so soon coz i dint really want to break the study momentum lei.. haha but all good things would come to an end.. lolz yep yep later i must go back and revise again if not wait forget what he taught then i can GTH already.. haha yep yep.. it's very RARE that i can pay attention for the whole 3 hours lor.. like last week for example, i was dozing off la so tired that i couldnt pay attention. so what aloysius said is true. if i had came online yesterday i would be very tired and today go school sure shag de but i was reading mag and the bible till 1230 last night but this morning wake up still feeling fresh.. as in like dont have that kind of dreading to come school feeling.. :)) haha izit because of last night? u know? lolz.. but it was a magical night. serious. thanks man. :) so i came back from school, had lunch with viven and sian lye at bukit timah market had my all-time favourite FISH SOUP.. haha slurpz. very nice.. haha then i came home to swim and BLOG haha finally.. this whole week gonna be real busy.. everyday is PACKED.. PACKED..PACKED.. gatherings, meetings, everything is just so endless and awaiting for me to accomplish.. haiz but i rather lead a busy life then to waste my time away.. isnt it?? hmm.. hehe Friday going back to JJ for Mooncake Festival celebration.. hope it would be nice and not eyeball-rolling session.. haha dont think so since evofus will be there! haha alrights la.. i shall stop here ler.. love ya guys~

finally`

Finally!!!!! the intensive camp is over.. haha after such long preparations and stuff.. all the compilation of notes and all the endless meetings.. finally.. say BYEBYE.. :P haha but i really wonder if jr is still going to do back the same stuff AGAIN next year.. lolz.. but i enjoyed myself la.. hehe today i actually screamed at the top of my voice at kenneth. and he still got the cheek to say "Miss Peh, why u so fierce huh" i was like -.-'' if i'm not fierce how they heck can the rest hear me when he was talking at the top of his lungs?! damns. but yah la we played games towards the end of the class and i guess the kids and myself did enjoyed ourselves.. haha finally everything is over. and.. and.. this gives me more time to think of HIM. when he is not. haiz.. i also dont know la.. was talking to Jas a few days ago and she concluded for me that YES. he just wants to be friends. how nice. though it is the truth. it hurts u know.. and i'm feeling real hurt now. u know that kind of feelings where he makes u feel real loved and cared for and suddenly,everything's just gone. why? if u had intended to make me feel hurt. u have gotten what u desired.. but i think u are not that evil anyway but really.thanks. u've hurt me. not u la Jas.. dont be confused.. lolz haha.. thanks for telling me the truth.i need the truth to wake myself up. thanks for waking me up so i wont be living in my fantasy world. haha. thanks for opening my heart and mind to other guys.. (like as if i am) muhaha u asked if we(as in me and him) want to bring our relationship to another level but u know this kind of thing, one hand cannot clap know.. haiz really la.. i should just leave all this in God's hands. i really dont know what i can do and what i should do. should i just leave everything as it is? but it's really eating me up and i hate this kind of feeling.. haiz dont know la.. anyways went swimming alone today.. downstairs only mah.. vivien actually wanted to come over to study de but i woke up at 11 and called her then she said she gg over to library to zap econs notes and what the heck was i sleeping at home? haha aiyah.. but at least.. i finished my sociology assignment.. woa lao i did that so like so damn long lor.. but like never ending de leh.. but *phew* managed to do it all today. at least one thing to be happy about. tmr gg jogging again.. 2.4km here i come. haha come to think of it,it's quite sad lor.. when i'm having holis everyone's like so super busy.. dint even contact or arrange to go out.. i just cant be bothered also.. haiya.. that's life la.. yep yep and YOU. yes YOU if u know i'm referring to YOU earlier on. drop me a note can? i really want to know. please. outta here!!!

:/

when a guy and a girl becomes good friends, are they really just that? what if either party falls in love with the other party? i'm just saying IF. can both parties really forsee the fact that they are of different genders? haiya.. i also dont know la. damns so confusing. :-X check out www.v-0f-us.blogspot.com There i speak more logic.. haha i cant be bothered to blog the same stuff again..

sick..

oh man.. i'm sick again.. last week i was also sick but tot i had recovered ler but sat i was caught in the rain again so revert back again. went to the doc and he just gave a a few medication that made me feel so drowsy and grogy de.. what the heck lor.. feeling so sleepy and my mind is so not clear. dont even know what i'm doing.. haiz supposed to be doing sociology de but dont know what the heck am i doing online blogging.. haiz cant resist all the temptations at home so i must really go out to study but now everyone has class and no one can pei2 wo3.. :`( haiz but feeling so sick now think go out study i'll also fall asleep lor.. sigh why must i fall sick at the wrong time? during the holis i must be sick. damns. but see all my friends around me all so stressed lidat then i'm still slacking my life away.. Ey.. think i dont know what i am talking about ler need to go off liao i from yest until now havent bathe.. haha so hygienic right.. lolz too tired and felt so knocked out lor.. no energy. ciaoz.. love all~

ZZZZzzz

back home early from school.. yawn went swimming and supposed to go do stuff for the camp next week.. think i'm doomed.. havent started on anything yet.. oh man. haiz ok la bye~ just a short one.

:))

Sick but still going on strong.. muhaha today really felt very sick.. dont know what's wrong with me also.. throat's like burning.. and nose cant stop sneezing.. haiz S-U-C-K-Y and i felt so guilty coz i wasnt paying attention during econs lect today.. no wonder i couldnt understand a bit.. i was too tired and kept dozing off.. haiz what the heck lor.. i tried to keep myself awake but to no avail lor.. after school my sick partner- ms vivien tan came over to my house wanted to study. but i was too sleepy so i took a short nap and not long, she fell asleep also. haiz so studying in my room not very effective. dint exercise also today.. felt so guilty damns. tmr.. tmr.. it shall be exercise day.. after taking the afternoon nap.. i like so long never take afternoon naps ler.. haha but still slept like a P-I-G.. muhaha yeah at night went over to holland v to study with aloy wanted to chill de but very sian also.. got so much things waiting for me to complete.. attempted to do maths but kept getting stuck.. haiz so vexed.. if i find out is that R MEENA give the wrong question i'm gg to slap her. serious. make me waste so much time trying to figure out how to do then in the end if the question is wrong !@#$%^&* she's gg to get it! haha yah la tmr gg to read through the econs notes again.. think i really have to start revising my work ler if not i cant catch up.. haiz yep yep.. that's about all for today.. gg to sleep soon with my burning throat. if u wanna hear a sexy male/female voice gimme a call! muhahahahaha 999 u can get me :)) ciaoz`

tired but happy.

Went for Aloy and jr's church's yearly event on both fri and sun the SpoOk show.. haha was quite enjoyable la.. and the happy thing is that i've made my decision ler.. hmm..just that i've yet to carry it out coz of QUEEN la.. u guys should know right? haha i know jr cant wait for me to convert but i really need time u know.. haha yep yep but anyways that day after watching with my JJ peeps the pigs suggested to go have supper when i'm on strict diet!haha but i dint eat anything la only drank water coz i wasnt really hungry and QUEEN was yelling at me to go home ler.. today went again for the show with Aloy and his friends.. a bit weird but i enjoyed myself.. though my butt was aching throughout the show.. haha i think the seat not very comfortable huh.. lolz yep yep.. oh yeah must update u guys on last week.. wah intensive exercising.. haha tues-jogging with vivien, wed-swimming,thurs-jogging with YL,fri-swimming,sat-HOCKEY oh man... haha and i'm down with flu now.. must be fri i swam too long while waiting for JT to come.. *ahchoo! lolz but i was really feeling very sick yest and mr tan actually said that i was faking it.. *boohoo.. JR asked if i was crying.. sigh.. see la.. i think when i start to sound very negative ppl would think that i'm crying even when i'm just ill.. lolz but anyways.. that's nothing too much to worry.. lolz :)) haha tmr i'm finally gg to get a new watch TRA LA LA LA.. haha swatch watch baby~ haha a whopping $160.. lolz think i'll have to skip lunch for the rest of the month! lolz hmm.. was thinking of getting a new bag.. oh yah i need 1) a new shoe bag 2) new shin pads 3)new hockey stick grip 4) a new shoulder bag.. that's all! haha think fri gg down to queensway with sm to get the stuff.. oh yeah.. QUEEN's gg to be away for the whole of next week so i can go out to chill at night! haha call me out if any peeps wanna chill okie.. that's all! love all~

sinking into depression again??

oh no.. bad news.. i think i'm gg to sink into depression again? i dont know leh.. just now went to had meeting with TT for sept tuition camp thingy and QUEEN and she was asked me where i was so when i told her i was having meeting but she thought i was attending some church activities and started yelling.. haiz.. how sia why izit lidat.. i dont know why she is so anti-christ? what can i do to convince her?? i feel so lost now.. AGAIN. and i hate this kind of feelings.. how :~( went to church service a couple of times but only last sun i really felt very touched till i wanted to cry but.. if QUEEN doesnt approve of it i'll never going to do.. it's very easy to say that to accept and tell her later but difficult to do.. u will seriously wont understand because u are not the one doing it.. isnt it? haiz i dont know la.. many times i had the urge to raise my hand when the pastor ask, but i know i have to face the music when i come home since the QUEEN is sooooo anti-christ.. haiz and i dont want to do that.. i've done that for all my life and this time i want her approval then can i do it in peace. or wait till i'm 21? but what aloy said is true.. i'm 19 already and should be making personal decisions myself.. but.. but.. i think she'll disown me.. other ppl say disown maybe like joking lidat.. but QUEEN means business.. she'll make my life hell.. haiz dont know la. i should stop talking about depressing stuff. today morning i went for econs lect and it wasnt that bad.. after school actually wanted to go jogging with vivien but it just had to rain.. so we ate lunch in school then shop arnd west mall for christina's present, then in the end still decided to go jog. haha not bad we did 2.4km okie.. wanted to look out for eye candy but what we had was some ah peks and steamed chicken guys.. super fair and still run half naked... -_-'' i was like sooooooOOOOOOOOOo disappointed.. lolz at night went to meet TT and we had a small talk la.. really enjoyed it.. :)) i finally said my piece.. hahaha but not him la.. lolz.. oh yeah before i end off wanna share this christian song which really touched my heart.. *clear throat*
"You laid aside Your Majesty..
Gave up everything for me..
Suffered at the hands of those You had created..
You took all my guilt and shame..
When You died and rose again..
Now today You reign..
In heaven and earth exalted..
I really want to worship You my Lord..
You have won my heart..
And i am Yours for ever and ever..
I will love You..
You are the only one who died for me..
Gave Your life to set me free..
So i lift my voice to You in adoration."
oh my.. i really love this song.. if got chance ask me to sing to u okie.. hahahahaha ok la gg to end off here ler.. tra la la.. :))

i'm confused..

just now chatting with jr online and i felt that she said some weird stuff.. first, she started out asking me how i feel about he bf.. of course our ching nei nei is nice la.. then suddenly she said if anything happen to her then kelvin will be left to me?! What the heck? i'm so worried.. what the hecks.. chai if u are reading this, talk to me if anything's wrong okie.. dont bathe so late also.. haiyo..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

this morning went service with Aloy.. quite alright la.. they played one song " You laid aside your majesty" oh my.. FOR THE FIRST TIME, i was almost moved to tears.. but i dint cry la.. lolz after that went lunching with CHAI and kelvin and met Aloy to study after that.. alright la did quite a bit of work at least i finished socio tutorial.. something that's super boring.. haha i think i really cannot study at home.. will slack too much.. though 2 person studying together will talk but at least wont sleep and waste more time.. hahaha we should do it more often.. haha :)) ok la nothing much else to add. tmr meeting hjb and vivien to go out.. that's all i feel like sleeping ler.. byebye.. hahahahaha

jiang jiang jiang jiannnnnnnnnnng! hahaha

today went for my first official training with SRC hockey.. it was too bad but just that the team only got guys.. hahahaha wanted to get a tan de but ended up drizzling.. haiz tot there would be girls training also but all guys.. got a few eye candy la.. but no chance also.. all younger than me. come to think of it.. i'm really getting OLD.. haha i always help ppl to count their age and forgot about my own as if my age would stop.. hahaha sorry.. talking nonsense.. today while training, i suddenly feel like sweating as much as i can.. hahaha it's been really a lOOOOOOOOOoooooooong time since i exercised..haha even swimming i dont sweat.. i dont think anyone does, hahaha sorry ar.. talking a bit nonsense now.. yest went to watch TIM SUM DOLLIES with aloy,fishy,sm and her sis but by the time we got there, the tics sold out already.. what the heck.. haiz i was soooooooOOOOOOOO angry with myself for not getting ready the cash.. damns but after that we had quite an enjoyable time so it wasnt that bad afterall.. hehe went to chill out at pacific coffee and city hall there the sofa like for king to sit one.. not bad.. hehe.. shall go there and chill again but the drinks there the prices like a bit steep.. :/ haiz.. nothing much la.. this week, hectic la.. haiz very sian also.. got work to do but see already also sian lor.. haiz ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz ok la.. gg off already tmr still gg church in the morning.. bye peeps!

edtydgdkfn!!

ok.. everyone's busy mugging so no one's online and what the heck am i doing here? haha.. IBM is just so super boring.. haiz oh yeah.. today i have a thing to comment on.. i think a SCORPION's sting is the most powerful and poisonous one.. in this case i'm referring to the horoscope.. haha so guys never ever offend a scorpio or u'll live to regret it.. haha yah la i really think i can GET JEALOUS EASILY.. lolz serious. dont know la.. these few days i'm getting real extreme mood swings.. dont know suddenly can get very very sad and the next moment i'll be ok le.. haiz how sia.. are girls made this way? hmmm... maybe

:? life is getting worse?

oh my.. so early i'm home already.. supposed to do some revision for IBM tmr but i just had to come online and blog..tsk..tsk.. just now before i came home i went the bank to do fund transfer to another ebay seller and when i wanted to come online to reply her email? guess what? i've deleted the person's contact and couldnt contact her? how nice.. i was so panic lor.. damn can u imagine paying $9 and not getting anything? ok la 9 bucks to me maybe not a lot but HELLO?! it's still money right?yah la.. i think this few days i'm really pissing mr tan off lor.. kept having evil thoughts.. haiz that day on msn i was like a bitch but i was really.. disappointed.. i dont with him or myself.. maybe both but after talking to fishy i'm ok already la.. she sort of "kai1 dao3" me lor.. haiz but today that feeling came back again.. i was attending socio lect and of all things the lecturer must talk about suicide.. and suddenly i had this very strong feeling to commit suicide.. i want to know what it is like to be on the other side of the world.. izit really true that devoted christians go to heaven? not as if i'm a christian but i could check it out? haha dont know leh.. i know i should stop having such ridiculous and just focus on my studies stop thinking so much but how can i ? usually ppl commit suicide because they are suffering from depression. maybe i'm too u know.. i keep having extreme mood swings.. WTH? i dont want to bother aloysius but i just cant help it la.. when we're smsing each other i will bring in this topic and i feel that i'm pissing him off. haiz but what can i do? what can i do? i'm really lost.. haiz tmr gg to watch TIM SUM DOLLIES cuz my sis got cheap tics at $4.. haiz hope it would turn out good. Sat gg for hockey training hope it would be good too.. keep ya fingers or maybe.. pray for me. yep thanks peeps :)

heya~

finally.. mr tan's birthday bash is over.. haiz this thing has been running in my mind for weeks.. imagining all the awakwardness i will have to endure when i'm there.. and indeed i did la.. lolz but luckily sm and fishy were there to acc me lor.. i dint know our dear mr tan dint have any girl friends.. tsk..tsk... except his 2 precious female classmates.. hahaha which made fishy thinking that is the cute guy's gf.. lolz so damn funny.. :D anyways made a new friend.. dont know can be considered anot la.. haiz.. so sian.. school has started for 3 weeks already and i admit i have not really adjusted to the system and the haze- like environment in SIM everytime during break.. it just sucks lor.. seriously.. I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO TRY AGAIN FOR NTU NEXT YEAR.. coz i'm quite sure staying in SIM is not what i want in my life? i dont know leh.. how.. :? sigh.. we'll see how next year.. pray hard that i can make it into NTU.. my dream school.. sigh..:( yep yep.. ok la.. this is one thing i dont wanna admit but maybe i do have feelings for him.. but so what?!?! if he doesnt reciprocate then too bad la.. not say i never go through such things before.. haiz let nature take its course but sometimes if nature is too slow should we humans take over the job? muhahahahahaha talking nonsense.. lolz i'm not very sure of my feelings also.. sometimes maybe have but sometimes like not there? aiyah this kind of things very hard to use words to describe de.. if u wanna know.. call me up and i'll tell u personally.. lolz.. i've been slacking all this while man.. shitty.. got stuff to do but i feeling lazy leh.. the lecturers in SIM also cannot make it la.. woa lao especially the IBM lecturer..always like to talk nonsense and tease girls, waste time and release us late for class.. WTH.. sucks lor.. this is just so different from what i had imagined.. haiz and this is not the kind of uni life i've been looking forward to after JC.. i believe for many of us too.. haiz.. SUCKY.. anyways i've been trying online shopping for quite a while and i got hooked.. lolz u should try it out when u got nothing better to do or u just wanna slack.. hahahahaha ok la.. i guess this entry should be long enough ler.. just want to add one last sentence.. i hate it when i msg someone and the person just refuses to reply.. (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE) !@#$%^&* ciaoz take care peeps.. miss you all~ :)

:?

yawn.. today went to catch the maid with aloy.. muhahaha so damn embarrassing la.. i was yelling throughout the show.. ok la not really but most of the time.. haiz so scary but still nice to watch :)) hahaha wed for me is rest day.. no school so morning i went for tuition then swimming and at night went out with him.. yawn.. oh yeah. i forgot to thank u aloy.. for calling me that day after u read my very depressing entry. thanks man. that little act touched my heart. seriously.. :) yep yep but i've really thought it through ler.. i realised that my problem cant even be compared to my friend's troubles lor.. her parents declared bankrupt, on the verge of divorce and she has to work to pay bills. what are my problems as compared to hers lor.. what the heck so i shouldnt whine about it anymore.. haiz.. but sometimes i really need some breathing space also so guys put up with me a little okie? haha but that's the point of having a blog what izit it? haiz school has started for 2 weeks but i'm still not very used to it la.. BUT i dont wanna to complain anymore.. like what mr tan said u can choose to go through this 3 years happily or can drag yourself to school also like so sian lidat.. but i guess it's always easier to say then to do it right? but even so, i'm willing to give it a try.. so guys hopefully u will be able to see more happy moments in my blog and not all depressing ones.. i realised that ever since i left JC all my entries would be filled with cursing.. muhahahaha yah la i'll try and cut down on that.. till then.. take care everyone!!

you will NEVER understand :((

guys would never experience what i'm going through now.. i've got my own school stuff to settle and jr's camp thing and another side my mum's up to my throat already.. i really feel like ending my life now.. at this point of time.. i dont want to think about any of this stuff already.. i cannot handle them.. i'm not strong enough. serious.. i'm nervous about the camp, i have to lie to my mum whenever i go out.. who can even understand all this? dont tell me u can.. i know u are lying. BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm mad at everybody mad at myself.. so sick of this world.so sick of everything. leave me alone