has my time come?

hey.. it's been a while since i last blogged.. very lazy to blog also.. haha yep yep that day i went out with aloy and guess who i saw?! my goodness he would be the last person i would want to see and i did.. haiz do u call this fate? J! argh.. i was like so damn paisey to see him.. at that moment i suddenly felt that i was doing something bad.. but apparently -_- i wasnt la.. i'm single so i can do what i want.. but.. to the extend of letting others misunderstand? i dont want.. haiz that day when we went out aloy was looking at my phone then he saw TT's pictures.. haiz i dont want him to misunderstand. then when i went out with aloy. J had to see us. damn what the heck man?!? actually i also dont know what i want la.. haiz.. just now we went to visit TT cuz he wasnt feeling well and so he hasn't booked in yet and i was watching some funny shows and i started laughing very loudly as usual and he actually said "aiyoh u laugh until so loud, next time how to live with you?" woa lao since when i say we'll live together? or is he hinting something? cuz when i ask him " i got say want to live with u meh" then he said " oh yah, i mean your parents?" someone.. PLEASE tell me is that this all is my wishful thinking.. damn. haiz then when i went out with aloy that day.. for the first time i think we just met up for dinner lor and movie.. and he is the one who initiated it la.. AGAIN REMIND ME CONSTANTLY! haha we went to eat subway for dinner cuz quite late liao then he was very hungry.. un-professional me eat until the whole table and skirt very dirty but he was like nothing happen and wanted to find a 'tian mi mi' place to eat -_- but dint la coz the air was too polluted.. haha i've never been serious before but i want to say something very very serious here! i really dont know what i want. damn. how do u make a choice? can i not make one? and if i dont want to make one why do i get jealous? for no reason? maybe what they say on tv is true that scorpio peeps get jealous easily huh.. i was quite convinced.. but haiz.. yah la i cant make a decision and this decision is no one can make for me de.. it's just my own personal choice.. and the greatest shit is that i'm jobless. fuck. how can this be true? haiz... $_$ life sucks even after exams :/

Ah-nei-you-ha-sei-you!

muhaha.. it's been quite a while since i last blogged.. though i was online practically the whole of last week, but i was just too lazy to blog.. muhaha.. yeps.. so now i'm attending bible lessons from Arthur.. maybe someday i may really become christian but i think for the time being maybe not yet cuz i need some time to really accept christ.. oh wells everything is not really going well for me.. i dint land myself the AES admin job.. damn must be coz i can only start in MAY that the bloody woman rolled her eyes and just eliminated me. fuck. whatever but sad to say... bye to my $1000 a month sit-there-do-nothing job.. sigh.. god save me.. sucks.. tell u guys something.. that day when i acc sm to see KOK for our bible lesson we went MAC and so after we finished everything i hadn't finished my drink and guess what? he just took it and drank from my straw.. i was like oh my God! but he like just drank it like normal.. even if it is TT he would remove my straw and drink from the cup la.. what the heck..i'm not trying to say anything here but hmmm... maybe i'll keep ya updated on the happenings.. muhaha last sat aloy asked me out but i couldnt coz i was super packed.. had to meet up with TT and JJ peeps since he got into army and at night got gm's birthday.. what the heck and i postponed it to this coming sat.. not really looking forward to it coz i look like a pile of shit now.. damn. really missed TT.. i felt a pang of jealousy when i knew that he was meeting another girl ALONE after the meeting with us.. damn why sia.. i should know that i dont have any feelings for him liao.. but why now this? fuck. but seriously i think it takes both hands to clap lor.. maybe we both have been behaving the wrong way that even my cousin mistaken us and even wanted to tell the bitch that i'm in a relationship.. -_- what the heck la.. damn.. yah la now i'm not asking for anything but just hope that nature takes its course and i will accept anything that comes my way.. today i went to SIM to apply for the business course coz till now i havent receive any letter from any of the unis and hopefully no news is good news.. and i had to take picture using those auto type of machine. damn guess what happened. i put in the coins and i thought i had to press some buttons and it started snapping.. how cool in the end one the pictures showed me bending down to examine the button.. how fuck.. hahaha but it was quite an experience... :P yeps fri i'm gg down to the attitude dance studio with JT and SM for some cardio dance class hope it will help me shake off some fats.. muhahahahaha time to exercise.. lolz k la that's all for now.. tmr i still have to go down to MOLE.inc to help out and shun bian gope some nice biscuits.. hahahahaha an-yeong-yi-kay-sei-you!

8th april

sianz.. i just woke up not long ago and later still have to go kumon to work..damn actually i'm feeling kinda lost now TT is in army.. why huh? haiz so sad.. damn.. yest i went back JJ and true enough AK was telling me stuff about jesus and wants to have 4 sessions with me to tell me all the stuff.. but i was explaining to him the main hindrance is my mum la.. she sort of limit my beliefs.. and my religion is what she believes in.. actually i dont really mind also la but if i have the freedom to choose from what i want.. i would rather.. -_- haiz i dont know la but i dont like christians to be very pushy like keep asking me to convert or what la.. OK?! damn so sian also yest JR ask me if i want to look for a customer service job at MOE from 10-2 i think it's good la.. one month lidat can earn $600+ dollars plus all my other tuition jobs sure can get a thousand dollars de lo.. hopefully i can secure that damn job.. yest went for the interview and i screw up the whole shit.. FCUK. the damn man was like so bu shuang with me lor.. haiz or maybe he is like what sm said that he has attitude problem.. but still i hope i can scrape through lor.. i still at a dilemma whether should i apply for SIM leh.. coz to think of it $52.50 is NOT a small sum.. but it's like a back road for me la in case i cant get into NTU or NUS (CHOY!) i think i'll consider again before i apply.. SUCKY oh yah btw i've gotten myself an english name.. muhahaha ZUAN peh.. nice and special no ppl have de.. -shy- lolz k la gotta go for lunch liao.. buai

Happy April F00l's Day..--> what e heck

ok.. another day just passed lidat.. actually tmr wanted to go blading with JJ peeps de but Jas couldnt make it so i think the whole thing cancel lo.. sian.. got to go for tuition in the morning tmr.. haiz.. but at least the dog my tutee has at home and the $$ makes me go.. muhahaha.. yest i was watching the "LADY FAN" and in the show one of the guy told the girl he liked "if i could, i would give you all the happiness in the world" woa lao after hearing that sentence i got goosebumps sia.. haha but i really cant imagine the feeling leh a guy that like u until will say this kind of thing.. but will he make good of what he says or just empty promises? haha who knows.. what the heck think i'm talking nonsense again.. haha haiz something's troubling me again.. SUCKY! that day when i know i was shortlisted for the interview i msged my CT and he congratulated me la.. nothing amazing but.. he started tell me stuff about GOD and wanted to meet me outside! goodness.. not say i'm interested in him or what la but somehow i dont have this good feeling.. but i can guarantee that he wont be up to anything.. damn am i contradicting myself? hahahah what the heck la.. tmr gg tuition in the morning then evening gg shopping with fishball peh to buy nicer clothes besides the usual tee shirt and jeans.. sian sun got tuition AGAIN haiz.. earning $$ not easy ah.. now i finally understand.. hahahahahahahaha but it seems like time really flies.. just when i thought i'm still growing up in a glance i'm working already and all the guys around me are enlisting into army already.. time really really flies.. it's so fast.. i read in a mag they said " there's no free lunch in the world except at mum's" haha true right? the only time we wont have to spend money and get a place to sleep and a meal to eat is at mum's mah.. haha saying about enlistment TT gg in liao i better get him a present on sun. a cap perhaps. he wants to wear a bandana.. what is wrong with him.. haha anyone who knows where to get nice and cheap caps TEXT ME PLEASE.. sank u very much :) ok la that's all for today.. ciaozzzzzz

something to be happy about

GREAT! i received the letter for me to go down for interview next thurs for the BA in NTU de.. my goodness finally got a dream come true.. haiz hope it will be smooth for me.. TT going to be enlisted next thurs.. i'm missing him already.. miss him not as in BGR type but as a friend.. no more ppl to acc me to gossip at night.. sigh.. ciaoz

coming home late.. haiz

sucks man.. now every mon----wed i'll only be home after 10 la what the heck.. and i bet bitch is going to show me the famous black face and sing the well-known opera. damn even if i explain to her that I'M WORKING NOT GOING OUT TO PLAY..somehow she'll say i'm talking back to her and blah..blah..blah.. damn. so i dont bother to do so la when she calls to kb i'll play the shut up game. shut up and let her nag the fuck all she wants. i just cant be bothered lor.. seriously.. that day when she said"u everyday go work until so late might as well dont work, stay at home good enough liao" and i was like what the heck la.. you ask me stay at home for what? do homework ar? what the hell la?!?! i think she just dont understand.. then that day i acc aloy go study also must tell her say i gg to visit my teacher.. woa lao also not say i'm doing something bad but haiz.. as usual if i tell her that i'm surely gg to get free tickets to DA OPERA! haha.. anyways.. what can i say man.. working at xue hai is fun la i get to teach the kids and stuff.. really got power to scold and do what i want in class lor.. being a teacher is REALLY SLACK.. seriously lor.. haha no wonder so many ppl want be teacher.. haha hope i can land a place in nie.. haiz.. sian man my love life is a clean SHIT i mean sheet haha.. seeing HIM like nothing also leh.. now this HIM i also is dunnoe which one.. haha maybe is aloy ba or TT or J but i think now i dont really care liao ba.. wait till i go uni.. muhahahaha *evil laugh gotta go liao my fucking eye is itching like hell.. damn

heya!

woa liew.. it's been quite a while since i last blogged.. haiz so much has happened over a short period of time.. think the last time i blogged.. havent get results yet but now the As are out and i cant believe i got B D O what the heck.. but actually i'm not disappointed at all cuz i was expected this kind of shitty grades lor.. just that my GP really made me feel disappointed.. i was expecting a B3 or B4 but fcuk.. i got C5.. damn.. maybe i was overconfident or what la.. but now i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that i can get into NTU NIE.. i really want to go there.. partly cuz there got cute guys! haha that day the guy that talked to us during the open house.. my godness.. haha but i guess cute guys will become not cute after you get to know them.. just like TT? haha i dont know la but haiz.. i just want to be good friends now. FULL STOP.. i dont wanna think of all this shit anymore.. True la i may feel lonely at times but do i really need a guy now? the thought of being burden-fied just turns me off.. and the fact that i cant let my parents know it.. damn.. worse lor.. but true enough sometimes i really think that we're more than friends la.. but so what sia? it just stops there.. we went blading again last week and after that we went to celebrate jas's birthday.. not bad la had quite a lot of fun.. haha although i think blading is really scary.. haha i'm quite terrified of the thought of falling down but i'm determined to learn it well.. haha not gg to let it have the same fate as knitting.. haha i think i'm really have "san fen zhong re du" whatever i like wont last for more than 3 months.. and this is the same towards guys also.. seriously.. i maybe crazy over this guy for some time.. doing everything for him but suddenly one day when i wake up i just feel dumb over all this shit then i realise that i dont really like him that much.. haha what the heck.. aiyah dunnoe la maybe i'm still not matured enough to be in a relationship? but if got any cute guys in uni... MUHAHAHAHAHAHA no la see how ba.. my wish now is just get into uni.. others can wait.. :P seriously.. haha went shopping with sm yest.. bought lots of stuff... i think top shop's really cool man! i think they had this new series of makeup and bath accessories and i bought a body mist from there.. cheap cheap $12.90 only.. haha bought nail enamel from red earth also.. $13.60 this one ex but the colour is the one i've been looking for so peeps if you're reading this call me up if you wanna do manicure! haha i can give you discount.. lolz.. so fun.. today went to eat international buffet at United Square.. very nice but very very very filling.. the food there has a wide range of variety lor and i think the coolest part is that we get to drink fruit juice using test tubes! haha i wanna set up a restaurant using all the chemistry apparatus to eat de.. haha good idea ba.. anyone interested please draft up a business proposal.. hahahaha we can be partners.. i'll consider except TT cuz i know he's out to cheat me! lolz feeling very bloated now.. really very full.. not a good feeling.. okay gotta ciao feeling very warm now.. damn

sigh

i'm sick.not love sick but really sick as in cough,flu and sorethroat. muhahah ok but that's the main point. the thing is. there's these two guys. i told both that i'm sick. One replied " Dont pass to me leh" and the other one said " Let's get sick together" Fine. so what now? i also dunnoe. yest when i saw his friends(before that they were apparently looking for me cuz jas heard them yelling my name) and i dunnoe him except one is my sis's friends they were like all waiting to see me la.. and my sis's friend actually said "jiu yang da ming" What's that supposed to mean sia? he's been telling his friends bout me? but for what? the day before i lent him my mp3 player and his friends thought that we had some sort of ai mei guan xi. in the past i thought so too know.. i also very confused now.. when he told me that i was like a bit shocked la but aiyah.. dunnoe leh!!!!!!!! ARGH howz? he taught me mahjong and i felt that we were like flirting on the mahjong table la.. that's very bad Daniel wont like it.. muhahaha but anywayz i think i'm just going to accept the fact that guys and girls can be good friends so.... we can too.. ciaozzzzzzzzzzzz

CNY!!!!

what is he trying to prove when he goes to buy 4D and the number is my unit number? ok la whatever maybe is my wishful thinking. damn tmr still got tuition with china boy.. sigh ciaoz.. the shitty headache is killing me!!!!

so happy¬

today is the happiest day of my life(2005) in the morning i went over to TT place to learn guitar and i learned the G chords already.. haha he said that's the easiest but when i learn it.. damn.. my fingers are super painful lor.. he say will grow some dead skin there then next time play liao wont be painful le.. but i doubt so.. haha after that we went to east coast to rollerblade.. though we dint get to sun tan but at least i learnt a little of rollerblading.. haha jasmine was holding on to me then when at the slope both of us were so confident but we end up falling and embarrassing ourselves.. haha so paisey lor.. she almost toppled over me but luckily she siam in time or else.. haha she ended up with a big bruise on her knee hahaha and today's also the first time i held hands with a guy but too bad la he's just teaching me how to rollerblade----> TT haha i guess the feeling is really different la.. although we held hands i felt that it was no big deal lor cuz he's not the one mah.. but i suddenly have this feeling that if one is in a relationship it's like carrying a burden and will be super tiring lor.. haiz.. even holding hands this kind of things will make me think of so many stuff.. really ar.. but i really had lots of fun.. after that me TT and jasmine went to far east to shop for new year clothes.. stupid TT wanted to buy new shoes but i told him say that design not nice but ppl insist on buying i wonder what his mum will say.. haha today so paisey la when i went to his house in the morning his mum was at home lor so i went to his room and dunnoe his mum will suspect that we're up to some mischief.. hahaha but please la i won't :P wahahaha really really enjoyed myself today we ate orange on the bus and i say until very loud on the bus "any fresher u have to peel it yourself" haha then got a ang moh guy look at me la.. but who cares.. after that got a few old woman boarded the bus and they look like the witches by ronald dahl? is this how u spell his name? haha dunnoe la just now news got say NTU offering 300 more vacanies for students hope i can get in successfully.. haha btw after i quit my job at MOLE and kumon i'll learn more stuff.. i feel that it enriches my life.. wahahaha ciaoz

haha

i love to hear him say " i'll call u when i reach home" hahaha make me sound so important.. :P

sian

i'm so super bored.. tmr hafta work at kumon then still got tuition with china boy.. if he's going to fang wo ge zi again they're going to get it.. i'm no pushover k.. haha whatever.. sigh..thinking about him now.. wonder if he's doing the same.. sigh* i'm supposed to acc him to highlight his hair today de but thanks to kumon i'm supposed to work till 6.15 then by the time meet liao too late ler.. haiz..all the obstacles.. lolz.. whatever he said to go cut it after CNY so still got hope la to meet up lor.. hope by the time he will still ask me..:P if not yah lor.. like what i've told sm if i dont see the guy i like.. slowly i'll forget about him but this time i dunnoe leh.. i keep having mixed feelings.. sigh* so bored going to sleep soon tmr must wake up early to go sun tanning... ciaozzzzz

shagged¬

oh my god.. so tired today morning sm came over and we went swimming after that had to go kumon to work.. almost doze off again.. damn even though we were super busy at that time.. i think something is wrong.. haha i need kopiko.. whatever.. today i got my pay at kumon.. only a measly $230 haiz.. i think it's so sad la i work there so long liao only to receive such spastic pay.. after work i had to rush to redhill to meet the JJ peeps cuz we meeting to go JR's mother's place for dinner.. so tired qiong here qiong there.. i tot we wont get to communicate today but i was wrong lor.. ever since we started on the choco enterprise.. and till the end of it i guess we had been in contact daily.. something which i look forward to.. heez :) coming thurs i'm going to acc him to have his hair highlighted and trimmed.. i think he's something wrong la.. i thought he just had his haircut though his hair is still as long as ever..:P i called him on the phone just now when we were at the coffee shop to return his call cuz just now i called him to ask for directions and i thought he had nothing to say to me.. i least expected him to say "i want to talk to u".. wahahaha though i was happy to hear that i think i embarrassed myself also la.. cuz i said bye bye almost immediately i finished what i wanted to say cuz i couldnt hear him and also partly couldnt be bothered?! i dunnoe la maybe i should just treat him like my buddy lo.. who says guys and girls can't be good friends? haha.. sat going rollerblading with the JJ peeps hope i wont paisey myself cuz i've never rollerblade before.. haha maybe will end up with scars.. whatever it is i just hope that it will be enjoyable lo.. i've learnt how to knit and he said that if i know how to knit liao and do something for him.. and now i'm wondering what present to give someone when they turn 21? gosh.. peeps out there any suggestion? maybe something cheap, good and meaningful? haha text me if u have any.. ciaozzzzzz

Perish in the name of love

i must say.. yesterday was the most memorable day of my life idunnoe la but i felt that it was lo.. for the first time in my life the guy that i had a crush on actually asked me out to buy CNY clothes.. when we were out i took a liking on a quiksilver shirtn he actually liked it too.. wahaha but too bad the smallest size theyhad is XL which is apparently too big for him.. heez.. yah lor. so we just walked around and we went to pacific plaza thinking that there are so many surf shops there maybe can find something nice but when we went there all the shops were closed liao lor.. so he suggested sitting down to think where we should go next.. haha for that moment i thought he was going to biao bai.. but please lor.. i think i'm too thick skinned to think of it that way.. ppl like me are not worthy of being in a relationship.. argh i hate myself.. but after that he suggested walking to wisma to check out the surf shop over at that side but when we walk there the shop is closed too.. so he suggested that we go drink coffee but i said drink liao wait tonight cannot sleep.. if i'm not wrong i think he asked about thrice if we should go get a cuppa but i said no la.. on one hand is i dont want to go home too late cuz i never tell mum that i'm going shopping.. she'll kill me on the other hand i dont want to be awake until 3+ even though i still did despite not drinking the coffee.. haha haiz i told xy bout it and she said maybe he wants to cosy up la but i doubt that's the case.. but come to think of it.. he's 21 this year and we've known each other for like 5 coming 6 years liao leh and this is the first time he asked me out to go shopping lor.. but when he confided in me that he's having some relationship problems with his classmate for being too popular.. haha i started thinking if he asked me out cuz his friends didn't want to go out with him.. if that's the case.. i'll be super disappointed in him.. damn.. why should my thoughts run wild lidat? :( dunnoe la so sick.. his going for haircut say that he wants to book it on fri but aiyah i dunnoe la so damn confused.. i want to know what he is thinking about.. i guess it's the same for everyone who has a crush lor.. sigh* sometimes i feel like msging him " how i wish i'm a guy so i wouldn't fall in love with you" but i think that it's super duper obvious that i'm trying to biao bai and he 100000000000% wont take me seriously de.. my goodness.. wo bu zhi dao la.. my mind's in a whirl now.. ciaozz think i'll do some knitting before i go to bed tonight.. tmr sm coming over to sun tan hope lime green wont be downstairs and that the sun would be super strong.. watch out for this corner.. haha

:/

gosh.. just now he just asked me out next week to go shopping for new year clothes.. hope it won't be a let down.. sigh.. guess i'm still not ready to let go? but i'll try okie? maybe this shall be my new year resolution ciaoz

the point of no return

i should snap out of it soon.. the day before was fuck.. i blogged but my high class lappy cocked up and great !nothing was saved..!"£$%^^%$££@£!^

are we fated to be?

my gosh.. just now when i couldn't come online i was like praying hard that i could log on.. and if i could it would mean that we were meant to be.. and i couldn't believe it when i actually logged on and saw HIM online.. at first i said hi but he logged off so i thought never mind la at least i saw him online but he came back and we're talking now.. gosh.. i think is i zi zuo duo qing la.. must be i watch too much love dramas liao.. but it really feels good to share your daily events with someone know.. though the person may not be very interested..but i think he alright la.. he like only listen to what i say lor.. but nvm! i happy to see that also.. hope something good turns out.. sigh* nighties

i really dont have the keys to your heart..

haiz.. so sian.. now after As liao everyday also work ,work, work.. sometimes i wonder why i am working so hard lor.. seriously.. how much money can i earn? i think my body is in a very bad condition now .. everyday very late then sleep next day have to rush to work again.. haiz evil cycle leh.. like the web of love lidat.. EVIL.. and can never get out of it.. damn i read my previous entry and felt that i was really really heartbroken at that time but dunnoe leh.. i feel that now maybe we're just friends lor.. seriously.. that day when i asked him if he missed his ex he said no but i felt chills lor.. woa lao what kind of damn feeling is that la.. sucky.. haiz i come online everyday hoping that he would and thank god.. he would but so what? i think he somewhat knows and is aware of my feelings la but SO WHAT?! no one makes the move we'll remain friends forever.. but that's not what i want.. I WANT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS! GET IT?! argh.. he'll never know it.. fuck. why? if u dont like me why did u do all those things in the first place? u want me to fall in love with u izit? if that's what u want.. your wish came true ok!? damn. i'm getting emotional.. haha but the stuff he did are really the first time a guy ever did to me la.. sending me small notes to tell me to jia you during As.. christmas wishes together with melted choco.. haha and guess what?! we almost cohabited for a day.. but my mother dint allow me to do so.. haha of course i dint tell her that i'm staying with him la..if not all reading this please attend my funeral.. haha dunnoe la.. i'm feeling so damn confused by all this shit man.. seriously.. how i wish everything could be back like in the past.. me not liking u.. treating u just like my buddy.. i wish i may.. my wish will never come true till the day i give up on u.. chinese have a saying.. good cow never eat grass that it has passed.. but me leh.. too bad la i'm not a cow?! hahaha whatever talking nonsense now.. guess what? my occupation now is part-time tutor cum tuition centre assistant cum child care assistant.. how cool can it be? hahaha i'm only currently tutoring this china boy.. he's 14 oh my! he's quite cute leh.. haha maybe i should take a pic with him.. lolz :P i think his mum is out to cheat my money la i told her i want $150 for 8 lessons and that's super cheap liao lor and she gave me $120 for 8 lessons.. !"£$%^&*&^%%$!££"$!%"&! damn it lor.. but aiyah i see that they are not very well off so yah la.. kind ppl like me are hard to find.. hahaha must ji de if not the A level results come out will zao nie.. hahahaha ok la i gtg liao.. blogged long enough ler this time.. ciaozzzzzzzzz

heartbroken

ok..fine.. i get your idea.. we HAVE to remain as friends.. thanks for breaking my heart..

so long nv blog liao

woa lao i think it's been years since i last blogged.. fwends who have constantly logged on to see my blogg. sorry to have disappoint u.. haha been very very very busy ever since the exams over plus my high class com is down.. now taking a risk to use my sis's lap top to blog.. haha yeps anyway i've got a new crushie.. and u peeps should know who HE is la.. but too bad.. he doesn't get any of my hints and seems to be out to make me more heartbroken.. haha i dont know la.. keep your fingers crossed for me and hopefully i can write some nice stuff WE did together.. haha ciaoz.. tmr still gotta work at TT great..

Love is like ice. The harder u hold onto it. The faster it will melt.

*sigh* it's halfway thru my As and i really feel like giving up. seriously. my maths paper 1 is 101% gone liao.. haiz dunnoe what's wrong with me also.. fuck i wonder what's going to happen to me. hope i can get at least a bloody E for maths then i can get into NTU NIE.. haiz.. damn it. three more papers and i'll be free liao.. but i dont have that kind of freedom feeling cuz i know i screwed up the maths paper.. i was like day dreaming during the paper wondering what's going to happen to me.. so much things happened recently. haiz yesterday i heard on the radio bout the definition of " Ai Mei" as in love de. And i realised that my relationship with TT may not be that simple afterall.like just friends only? maybe it's ai mei. i think both of us realise it but just dont want to say so like nothing happen lor.. aiyah dunnoe la. i shouldn't be thinking bout all this shit now. this few weeks i hadn't thought about HIM or mentioned anything bout HIM but that day he suddenly msged me. bloody shit. i think that sort of ignited the flame of love.. hahaha whatever u call it. shucks lor.. i feel that we always feel awkward when we see each other in school leh.. hmmm how come huh.. izit a good thing or bad? dunnoe la.. sucks i'm feeling so sick now. got flu and then just now drink pear juice also kena choke. shucks must be something bad going to happen.. : oh wells~ hope the rest of the papers wont be fucky. cuz i've got confident in my chinese and chem papers but it's all fucking chee bye maths paper that's going to drag me down.. Argh! btw if fishy you are reading this.. can i meet u on the 19th then u lend me the xia ri xiang qi vcd? hahahaha ciaoz keep in contact!

thurs- A LEVEL CHEM PRAC

it's been quite a while since i last blogged and i guess it would be the last before my As.. can say that i've been mugging hard this few days at kap and going back to school constantly for consultation.. haiz.. so damn stressed.. dunnoe if what i've prepared myself for would be sufficient for the As not.. haiz.. my bloody maid keeps peeping at what i'm typing.. sucks.. yah anyway my fave teacher has left JJ and i'm feeling not very good lor.. haiz really miss her.. all the times i bully her and we laugh at stupid things.. i just miss them.. hope i can meet her again before she heads for cheena.. : ( haiz all the ppl i love are leaving, leaving me behind with da bitch. think she has really gone crazy.. everyday scold me like very fun lidat and keeps spoiling asshole. fuck them. still say he want to go into triple science stream.. haha! very funny. during exam nv study watch tv slacking. if can get into triple science i will go eat shit man... i really hate them. haiz.. k la dont want to spoil my day cursing them... i need to go study liao and i'm so happy that my house upstairs undergoing renovation not noisy. yeah! hahahaha ciaoz

my mum's a fucking bitch

i wonder if there's any other person's mum who would call their children early in the morning to yell at them and spoil their mood for the rest of the day. fuck man. i've got a chee bye mother. damnit la. i'm so pissed now. she keeps asking my thinks-she's-very-skinny-maid to check on me. fuck. what time i wake up. woa lao come on la.. it's human rights lor cant i even decide what time i want to wake up? and i even set an alarm liao la.. cannot also. fuck her. i'm so so damn pissed now. think tonight i'm not going to get peace liao.. she's surely going to kp until the whole night de.. that time my sis went to dye her hair and this is what happened. she dint scold my sis only directed her anger to me. fuck her. fuck.. fuck.. fuck.. spoil my whole day's mood. So what if i dint do well in my prelims? i can still pia for the As what.. then she only care bout my grades la.. not even bothered bout the way i'm studying. typical fucking only-care-about-results stubborn bitch singaporean. FUCK

R.I.P

i'm a goner.. seriously. got back most of my prelim results and they sucked.. now what time already and i'm still getting this kind of crappy results? maybe i dint really work hard enough but i cant help but slack leh.. haiz.. if As also lidat i think all my friends out there can get me a purple coffin next year liao.. GP 61/100 ; CA 58/100 (but still got one more paper maybe got some hope :P) ; MH 22/100 ULTMATE BA? ; CH dunnoe yet but 101% is fail de or else mao liau liau wouldnt have given me the revision timetable. fuck lor.. just look at my maths results.. i dunnoe what's wrong with me.. i've been trying to do some math revision this days hope they'll help.. saitty. somtimes i really feel like giving up cuz i study and study but results still like fuck lidat.. like no matter how hard i push myself e results will still be the same.. :( so what's the point man? but hopefully my As results will turn out otherwise though i know chances are small.. hope bitch can get e hint.i'm not asking for much just let me get into NTU. Arts and social science or business.. PLEASE! haiz i know la saying here is no use de must work hard. i'm trying my best liao ler.. hope there'll be some improvements in my results.. btw.. TTG rmb we said we'll biao bai together after the As? think maybe u have to do it yourself cuz i'm giving up on HIM liao.. i cant stand it ler.. i've deleted all his msges in my phone... hopefully i can forget him. he's like practically ignoring me la. WTF? so yah la from today onwards i'm going to make myself forget him.. though i know it's going to be hard i have to.. anyway now studies more important no time to miss him also.. growing fatter everyday.. hahaha must play hockey and swim everyday after the As lo.. ciao liao back to 'simple' maths! hahahaha buai~

finally over~

woa lao after 3 weeks of strguggling and keeping myself awake, finally the god damn prelims are over.. -phew- i'm like so relieved now.. really i think the 3 weeks is the hardest time of my life or should i say yest? woa lao i woke up at 3 to study till six then slept till 6.30 only. what the fuck la i really felt like dying. waking up in the middle of the night to continue studying... it just sucks. really.i better start mugging for the As now or i'll really have to stay up late when the time comes.. just now i went to read TTG's blog and she said she got highest for paper 2 chem! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u owe us one treat.. hahaha think i'm going to get the lowest la.. what the hell.. whatever la i really tried my best to study liao or should i say i dint really put in a lot of effort? i dunnoe la.. so relieved that all this shit is over and cant wait to see how badly i scored. haiz.. but yah la i think i limit myself to slack till the end of this week then after i must really pia liao.. cant afford to waste anymore time ler.. haiz.. this few days dunnoe is i got attitude prob or what la been ignoring jas,jr and wp they talk to them or more like they ask me question i just shake or nod my head.. i really cant be bothered to talk to them leh.. i dunnoe why also.. kaoz so sick and tired of making myself suit their way of lifestyle and behaviour. i want to be me. crazy mad me. not just funny me in front of them. it's really tiring to put on the mask and try to integrate into their way. i'm sick and tired of trying.. tmr they going k box actually we already agreed? but i dun rmb saying that? yah but anyway. last min i decided not to go liao.. i dont think i'll have fun even if i go so why bother? wait i go there show black face then spoil everybody's mood. no point also la. i just wish that the As would come faster and i dont have to go to school anymore and face them. I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!!!!! i'm just going to continue slacking at home go swimming tmr hope it would be sunny and go for haircut. cant stand my hair. now looks like.. i dunnoe mushroom?can fight with TTG liao..haha anyway wp just msged me i really think that i'm a very bad friend and i dont deserve them.. yah la anyway just leave this shit aside first.. i'm not in the mood to settle it now.. today i went to watch "The Terminal" with chris and i think it's a really superb movie lor.. woa lao Tom Hanks can act really well and the story's very touching also.. heez quite worth the money la just that stubborn me dint go toilet be4 the movie and my bladder was on the verge of bursting during the movie.. haha but anyway i still enjoyed it.. at least no pressure! haha~ haiz i came online hoping to see many peeps online but only like 3 ppl only? what the hell la.. everybody died already ar? kaoz.. saittie ( * )( * ) haha cant wait for next sat to come the whole bunch of my GSC class friends are going down to our fave teacher's place for a gathering before she leaves for china... haiz i'll be so sad when she goes lor.. cuz she's really my teacher cum friend leh.. i can even bully her.. lolz.. yah it's always lidat we dont cherish the ppl around us and when we're going to lose them we'll regret.. haiz anyways ciao liao today's entry super long. damn got mosquito bite me it's dead.. buaiiiiii...

DEAD

talking to aloy now online.. asking him to watch garfield at suntec so he can help me win the huge garfield.. haha i really want it ler.. it's so big and cute :P anyway today i went school for consultation and yah my CT saw me and he came over to ask "wah so yong gong ar jia you" hehe so nice of him.. shucks bad omen. lolz but i dint felt like seeing him though i knew i would cuz i was having bad hair day.. my hair is hopeless liao.. looks like shit now. cant help it. lazy to maintain it.. hehe meet fishy and sm for lunch we went to swensens and i had teriyaki sphagetti... slurpz so nice.. super full and i heard from smelly fish that sana is leaving singapore for good. she's staying in pakistan ler.. so sad! :...( i get really sad when i know i wont get to see my friends anymore.. gosh think on that day we go send her at the airport i'll cry lor.. cuz my fave teacher going to china for 1 and a 1/2 years and i think if i go send her off i'll cry also.. so i'm still deciding whether i should go to e airport not.. wait i cry then super paisey.. hehe today think i slack the whole day la.. only did some chem.. sucks. better buck up tmr.. 2 more days only.. shit. bye.

BURRP!

just came back from dinner with my uncle.. so nice he brought us out for dinner and we had sakae sushi.. so full.. we had 38 plates plus 4 red plates and 7 moshi ice cream lychee de somemore!( HUI i finally got to eat it) haha burp! i'm really super full now.. and satisfied.. haha my uncle's very nice to bring us out.. hehe now i'm only home with bastard and maid. both parents went overseas! haha i'm supposed to be freed but i dont feel the freedom? kaoz.. maybe cuz i know bitch will call anytime to spot check? she suck la. yesterday she dunnoe mad or what at first scold bastard then suddenly started scolding me. fuck la. also not my prob dunnoe drag me in for what. sucks. today i went swimming downstairs. i was so pissed. at first i wanted to sun tan cuz the sun was quite strong but after i went down the sun like dun have ler.. so i just swam hoping for the sun to come out again and it dint so i was like ok. forget it den then when i went upstairs the bloody sun came out FUCK. was i pissed man. then there was this guy like so hao lian that he got to sun tan woa lao.. i'm going to try it again tmr.. hope the sun will be out.. haiz.. must exercise already.. going to explode into a pile of fats soon.. all my muscle transformed into fats.. sucks. and i cant stop eating.. :P haha stress and keep eating.. tmr morning i'm going school to ask mao liau liau questions.. sucks la the papers all so difficult i dunnoe how to do. haiz uUu the papers that time hui zapped de like got missing de ler cuz got quite a few only got ans dont have the questions then i zap liao waste $$.. haiz dunnoe what the hell. tried to the tys also find it very difficult. die liao. i better buck up during the one month or so or i'm dead. just now heard form my sis that one of her friend broke up with the bf at this period when he's having his prelims.. sucky la. at this important time. she's such a bitch. so what if she's pretty.. kaoz.. make the guy so miserable. she still ask the guy not to think so much.. how can? use leg hair think also know cannot la.. sucks. but guys dont worry i wont do this to you de.. hahaha whatever.. i'm talking nonsense ate too full liao.. haha k la must go study ler.. byebye

i'm gonna flunk my prelims

seriously, think i cannot make it ler.. i really dunnoe how. my math suck and my chem also like not stable de.. chinese i havent even started studying la.. can go and die already... hope everybody performs badly in the As so the whole standard lower.. hahaha yesterday i went out with TTG and she's mad.. when i reached city hall so was nowhere to be seen so i called her.called and called no response. think i called her continuously for 17 mins.. NI KAN NI ! luckily at the 18th min she picked up.. very funny. she went to HMV and yi kou qi bought 3 cds.. spend over $50 haiz.. super rich.. after that we went to suntec wanting to catch garfield de but the timing very shitty. at 7.30 if i watch already then dont need to go home liao.. hahaha but..but.. if we had watched at Cathay we would have a chance to win the super big garfield there.. i want! but haiz.. in the end we had to walk all the way to marina square to watch and it was raining and renovation was going on.. so shit. luckily the movie is not bad.. i like garfield.. he's cute and he can burp! hahahaha if he was my cat think i'll squeeze him! (everyday) hahaha then after that come home the usual stuff lo.. at night i tried to do the NJC paper 1 and it was super fuck. i cannot do everything.. what the hell. am i not prepared or is the paper fucking difficult. seriously. i only score 12/40.. if A level lidat can go commit suicide liao.. later i am going to attempt the paper 2 not very funny. if i cant do again, i'll get super demoralised.. but before that i better start on my chinese.. haiz.. going to flunk maths.. can u imagine the worse exam conditions? sitting in the freezing hall and got a table with only three legs and cant stop rocking? fuck la.. i was so pissed that i gave up balancing it and it just kept rocking throughout the paper.. cool ba? haha after the paper we had phototaking. quite dumb la cuz the photographer is the school's photography club de. cant the school pay outsiders to do a more professional job? before the shot, sm told me say they take pictures damn lousy de nv even say 1..2..3 sucks la.. so i told my CT and he was like saying if i'm not happy with it i'll ask them to take again and again and again.. haha so funny. then before the shot we were all ready suddenly he shouted. MUST SAY 1..2..3.. huh! hahaha so funny la (Oops am i developing a crush? :P) then after taking the formal pic we had to take a informal pic so he walked behind and i think he wanted to stand somewhere near me.. dunnoe izit i duo xin or what la.. but i should know student and teacher is impossible de lor.. i've experienced it before and know how it's for me to forget him.. haiz he's still so cute.. really miss him leh.. everytime if i take 173 i'm hoping to see him at clementi or at his school but haiz.. u know.. the more u want to see somebody the more u wont get to see him.. it's only at the wrong timing then will he appear.. haiz whatever la. think i've got thing for older guys. they seems more mature.. heez. k la today's entry quite long i must go study liao i only got 5 more days (including today) before my next paper.. ciao liao byeeeeeeee~

sucks

just now went to check out hui and sm's blog. seems like no one came online to blog recently except me. haiz when my results are like shit already i should be studying hard and not blogging here. sucks. yest just had maths paper 1 and fuck lor think i'm going to flunk it all the fucking shit i cant prove.. use wrong formula have no idea how to do.. that's so cb and i was having cramps sitting in the i-think-it's-zero-degrees hall freezing and trying to think of how to do.. fuck la.. i really hate maths. yest TT say that he thinks that he may not be able to make it to uni i'm very scared that i'll have the same fate as him.. i dont want.. though i know chances of me being that is quite high.. damn it ar i dunnoe how also.. maths really suck lor. i still got quite a few chapters i'm not familiar with and only got a month away from the As.. how sia. this is so fuck. yest i studied till 3 in the morning and this morning bitch woke me up at 9.30 saying that our maid had ran away. fuck. she was hanging the clothes when i woke up la.. what run away so sucky. and my bastard bro.. woa lao think my family arh.. really suck..oh yah one thing i must mention about.. now i dunnoe if i really still like HIM not.. cuz yest i was looking at HIS pic hehe then i suddenly asked myself if i really still liked him.. i couldnt answer cuz i was so damn scared that i have a crush on my stupid CT. woa lao.. i dunoe.. argh! how do u define if u love someone?
1. do things out of freewill for him
2. sms him and hoping that he'll strike up a conversation
3. paisey to talk to him in school?
4. try to avoid him as much as possible although i may want to see him very much
5. become jealous when he's alone with other girls
6. when he sends u simple msges like even "take care ya" you'll feel warm at heart
7. every single thing of his (money) you'll keep it and wont spend it..$17 hahaha :P
argh.. i'm so in love.. but dunoe with who.. aiyah maybe i can like 2 person at the same time? hahaha no la i not so bad de.. haiz cant wait for all this shit to be over.. i wanted to biao bai together with hui after the As de but now i cant even be sure of my own feelings how to biao bai? my goodness.. maybe i should do a sign test.. (numerical analysis) hahaha i love him. i love him not. i love him .i love him not. i love him .i love him not. i love him. i love him not.i love him.i love him not.i love him.i love him not.i love him.i love him not.i love him.i love him not. i love him. i love him not.i love him.i love him.i love him not. i love him.i love him. i love him.i love him. i dunoe! do i love him? can time tell? this is so fuck.

prelims..prelims..

sai.. prelims coming ler.. actually it's tmr la.. but i'm a bit sick of studying and sitting in a pile of dust.haiz.. yest studied till 2 (first time so late) and couldnt wake up till 9.30. shit haiz after tt got tuition with beef but dint managed to clarify all my doubts.. haiz.. i must really pia now. i did maths but not chem and CA on hold la.. sucks. must squeeze all and finish studying cuz i hate that kind of hopelessness i have when i dunnoe how to do questions during exam... haiz.. now talking to my teacher and sana.. yawnz.. think i'll qiong again after this. must liao. k la short entry this time.. buaiz i love him.

love-sick~

I miss him.. badly that is. argh.. must study hard.. sucks cant wait for exams to be over i'm going to BIAO BAI!!!!!! hahahaha

happie teachers' day!

yest i went back to new town to see da teachers and i was shocked to learn that last tine my chem teacher mrs lim actually became the vice principal! and the saddiest thing that i've learnt is that my ex physics teacher mr james tan got some viral infection in his right ear and had to depend on a hearing aid! gosh man.. so many things happen after we left new town.. woa lao.. so damn sad for him la but glad to see that he had taking things into his stride so ok la.. i was like bullying him throughout our whole visit.. so song! he wore this weird shirt that a brush can be stuck on it de and i took a few pics of him! hahahah snoops say that i'm crazy but who cares man? think i'm too stressed la.. before that i went to visit the drink stall auntie and she's still the same. hope nothing will change next year when i visit them again during chinese new year.. haiz.. this morning just got scolded by bitch cuz i slept until 10+ fuck la also nobody wake me up.. i was quite tired last night lor.. damn it. i'm in for it tonight liao.. jialat. fuck her sia. later going over to jing's place to study hope it will be fruitful.. damn it i got stomachache need to go shit liao.. ciaoz I WILL STUDY HARD! miss him!

ghkldflgka;klf

it's been quite a while since i last blogged.. think the last time i blogged my high class computer went crazy and dint save any of my entries.. sucks hope it wont be so this time round.. yah prelims are super round the corner and to be exact i just started revision..think i'm really doomed la.. dead ler. i dunnoe how.. i've got tests every week then my revision schedule have to adjust just to make time for the bloody tests.. sucks la dunnoe how also.. haiz oh yah be4 i forgot today something bloody embarrassing happened.. after morning assembly today i swing my bag just normal to carry it but i dint realise that AK was behind me and i think i accidentally hit him( not accidentally i think i really did) shit and where? somewhere sensitive? sucks man.. he was like " how dare u " but i pretended not to hear cuz i was talking to wp.. woa lao super paisey lor.. luckily dint see him anymore for the rest of the day think i'm too embarrassed but i did not do it on purpose also de mah.. heehee.. actually that day SM asked me if i liked him then i was HUH! what the hell la? crush on my CT? i'm scared that i'll la cuz he just has this very special bonding with our class lor.. but yah la i wont allow myself to fall in love with him and i'm 99.9% sure just that 0.01% sometimes i wonder if i have a crush on him also.. but alast! J is the BEST! hehe tmr's maths mock i'm doomed for sure just came back not long from celebrating fishball's birthday.. we went mouth kitchen to eat and sure did i explode.. ate super lot la.. but throughout dinner only me and her talking the others all super quiet dunnoe y also.. generation gap ba.. dunnoe la.. i hate asshole. he got new phone new specs. and i'm stuck with my blue rimmed specs and high class 3310. think i'll change to permanent contacts when i'm in uni la (bt that's if i can get it) and i'm going to get a super nice phone.. i just love my 3310. u dont be jealous.... ciaoz gotta rest ler.. @_@

fuck. something's wrong with my blog. what i typed just now all gone.. FUCK. i love u

djchsdljkvbadfjkvb

cough*cough*cough* think i got lung cancer or what. cant stop coughing.. haiz.. on fri 13th, aloy's bday. went to the SPOOKS show wit jr,wp,tt and yah aloy went with his classmates lor.. i kinda miss him.. heez.. Hmmm.... dunnoe if that kind of feeling is coming bac! ha! yah and u koe what? he waited for me after the show! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! why? he told his friends to go to the food court first then he came to talk to me.. hehe was kinda happy and shocked. jr wanted him to send me home but luckily she dint see him. i dint want to embarrass myself if he rejects la i mean this kind of stuff should be he offer to do it himself and not someone ask him to do.. sound so mechanical.. haiz.. yah anyway we just talked lo.. nothing much la but he said he wanted to make cookies.. Hmmmm.. after the As think i'll be super busy.. we say already. after the As come my house then we make cookies,cheese cake,mango moose cake,muffins,sushi.. wah so excited.. cant wait for the As to be over! ciao liao tmr still got grp 2 and grp 7 re test.. -sucks- :

Sick..

oh wells~ i'm sick.. got fever (38.5 degrees), flu,cough,body ache.. kaoz.. all come at the same time.. so sick.. slept until 10.35.. (oink oink) haha so bored. but i must start studying liao or i'll not make it.. just now went to read hui's blog and she already finished her revision for chem and me? i haven't even started a single shit.. die liao...
Things to complete today:
1. finish GP TCA
2.Finish chinese lian xi
3. study for CA test tmr
4.Continue for revision on all sub (stick to my study plan)
that's all liao.. better not blog too much a bit waste of time.. hope i'll be fit to go school tmr.ciaoz

i am sick.

woa lao.. i'm sick AGAIN.. think i've became super weak ever since i went to JC even FIshball is stronger than me.. but maybe cuz of yesterday la.. can u believe it? i went to k box with BITCH until 1+ woa.. sang until like crazy.. then now sick already.. i went to hui's house to study but not very fruitful cuz i couldn't do any of the simple maths. damn feel like killing myself. watched Singapore Idol. kaoz there was this guy he sang super softly than he complained that the judges didn't give him any comments when in fact they couldn't hear him.. so dumb.funny la.. saw TT on TV but he like camera shy lidat.. maybe he's not cut out to be a idol afterall.. hmmm... but who am i to judge him anyway? today's blog will have to be a short one.. i'm really feeling damn sick. aching body, block nose.. then tmr i'm still going k box with hui they all.. dunnoe whether i should go not.. so so sick.. but i promise them liao if dont go like very bad lidat.. haiz.. dunnoe la see how i feel tmr morning.. yawnz.. that's about it la.. I MISS HIM------ badly.

Memo~

1. I miss HIM. I really do. I love HIM. I really do.
2. i want a new PHONE! maybe T610? we'll see.
3.tuition tmr. will see beef. hope he is cuter :P hahaha
4.watching the village tmr hope it'll be scary.. lolz :)
5. I miss HIM.
-bleh-

bored~

yawn.. so bored i cant do anything this days.. dunnoe what's wrong with me.. As coming soon and i'm not even working hard.think if i flunk it cant really blame anyone...i dont feel like studying this few days.. i really need some motivation to work hard but i dunnoe what.. kaoz.. i feel like going overseas to continue my studies but i think BITCH wont allow haiz.. dunnoe how.. prelims think one month away and great! i havent start revising.. and the damn problem is that i've got so much work to do and havent complete yet.. SHIT someone help me.. trying to do gsc now but i cant find any damn info online.. dunnoe how.. sucks all this just sucks.later jj coming over to study hope it'll be fruitful.feel like dying. i miss uncle :~(

what are u trying to show?

i dont know what HE's thinking.. seriously. i feel lost... he keeps telling me to concentrate on my studies.. only 2 possibilities. 1. he thinks i'm attached and hope i wont spend so much time with my so called bf (he's jealous) 2. he's just concerned. As much as i hope HE is thinking of option one, i dont think so... yesterday i saw him in school again tot he was going home. if i'm not wrong i think he was talking to me asking me something but i kept saying byebye to him... weird me. ok whatever.. i tot i would see him at the bus stop but my hopes were dashed. he sent me a few weird messages yesterday that kept me thinking bout them. here it goes "everyone i have met has some influence in my life. i realised that beneath the sack of unhappiness situation,i realised how beautiful life is. So, at times the best ans to things may be jus to observe it longer.N dun b angry if it did not go ur way for everything would hav a reason for it to happen." what did he meant bout this?? i dont understand!!!!:( it was only when i told him that it was drizzling then he sent me this msg " u know i hav always like a small drizzle. the rain give me isolation but yet the idea of not being lonely.. Besides it cools me down =)" when i read this msg i replied him that i learn something new about him and he just told me to concentrate on my studies... SHucKs. i got a bad feeling that he knows that i like him? shit. better not be. actually the previous entry i said i've forgottne bout him but i think it's not true la. i can't. it's too hard for me to let go. everytime i see him in school i'll just go gaga.. cant! shit. someone teach me how to forget a person. :( prelims coming. i haven start revision. congratulate me. great. fri got CA test need to go study liao. bye.

heya~

yesterday i went on a so called date with aloy.. and hmmm... quite fun. :) we went shopping at heeren for bracelet cuz he wants it (how vain):) he better not read this.. yah la whatever and when we were looking at bracelets, a few times i actually helped him to put on the bracelet cuz he couldn't do it himself.. it was really a nice feeling like u know helping your boyfriend to try out stuff.. but yah la i know we wont even be together.. yah so.. we walked around in heeren and guess what? i saw bloody prince of eye bags with his bloody gf holding hands trying to look very loving.. pls.. get the hell out of my sight lor.. i cant stand it.. trying to act couple.. sucks.just sucks. yah so after that we actually intended to go eat sakae sushi de but think a bit too ex so we end up eating at far east instead.. he brought me to eat hor fun which was like ok only and he kept saying that it's nice.. weird. whatever la.. he had to go for a haircut after that so we were like kind of rush.. hmmm.. so sad if not we could have gossiped more.. think yesterday was once i spoke the most to him.. haha yah after that think he was still early so he walked me to taka to buy donuts for my greedy sis and i think it's really nice of him la.. it's quite a distance from taka the food court there to far east and he dint say anything like dont want to go there or what.. for that he deserves another star * hahaha.. yeah i had an enjoyable time yesterday..(though we met bags) :P today.. went to school for college day.. sian but ok la hope i'll get a few cip hours.. haha i very bad right.. yah anyway saw HIM but dint feel anything.. actually i loathe the sight of him.. maybe is bcuz of that time embarrassed myself in front of him then i dont want to see him anymore... think i very bad but who cares anyway.. for that.. i think i've already forgotten bout him liao.. as in dont like him already lor... i think that's good la.. cuz i think i like him until i very xing ku. so near yet so far.. not a good feeling. perhaps i'll be better off without him? who knows man? let time tell. i better start mugging for the prelims liao.. though i know i'll still suck at it.for the previous test TT actually scored better than me.. i was actually mad at him coz i thought that he dint deserve to do better than me when i actually handed in my tutorials that i completed MYSELF. for once. hahaha.. yah la anyway that's bout all le la.. hope i'll dream of aloy and bryan tonight.. muack*

sucks

ok.fuck.yesterday was the shittiest day of my life.. what can be embarrassing than to embarrass yourself in front of the guy u like? damn i was like wanting to kill myself.. i was running to the toilet leh.. so fast that i slipped and fell right onto the floor.. kaoz.. it was really super duper paisey.. kaoz and now my knee hurts. ok. whatever. just dont feel like seeing him anymore.. but seriously come to think of it, i think the more i dont see him the more i dont like him already.. heez~ or maybe i should say i think i gotta crush on someone else.. haha and the person is... -drum rolls- Bryan! and guess what? he's from new town and one year younger than us.. yes. u and me.. jie di lian... :P haha woa lao he's super duper cute lor.. especially after his softball trainings his face red red de.. wah.. i see already can melt sia.. very cute. yah la come one it's just a crush and i cant foresee us being together. ha! (as if we would. he dont even know me) lolz. :P yah la but he's just super cute. last time in new town i dont think i ever see him be4 haiz.. if got then maybe i would have gotten to make friends with him.. hehe yah anyway this few days i've been feeling quite FUCked up with SM. i dont know what's wrong with the both of us. keep getting into quarrels. it's been lidat ever since the starting of this year. i keep getting pissed by her. and the fuckiest shit is that i think she doesn't regard me as impt as he best friend AH MENG! damn. whatever la say i'm jealous or what i dont give a damn. she asked her out to watch brotherhood. blah blah blah.. forgetting bout me. damn. maybe in her heart i'm just no one. seriously speaking, i don't really like ah meng coz i think that she don't really like me either. i dont make friends with ppl who dont make friends with me... that time go visit elizabeth in the hospital she already show that she a bit bu shuang me la but maybe partly is coz of what sm complains to her about me? yah la i dont really give a shit. this friendship is encountering many problems and i'm quite sick of having to keep up with her mood swings and stuff. maybe we have held on for too long and it's time to let go? yah la i dont know. tmr i meeting aloy to pass him his stuff then we going for dinner. hope it'll be enjoyable. ciaoz~ :

i dont wanna live anymore

today just sucked for me. i had my nmr test and i felt so damn bloody stressed. i dont feel like living anymore. everything's going wrong for me. i'm flunking my tests(including today's i guess) suck. i dont think i can make it for the As. so damn stressed. sm say this is the route i've chosen so i just have to make the best out of it but i cant. i feel sucked off my soul. my everything. i have no time for anything except to study.what the hell. and to make things worse. just now when i took 176 home and when i was boarding the bus some fucking guy in front of me actually elbowed my face. fuck. and he dint even apologose. just treat as if nothing happen. what the hell. today's real shitty. everyone thought i was something wrong and i was la k.. i've got attitude problem. checked out TT's new T630 like not very user friendly.. maybe i should continue waiting for my dream phone but if i die then dont need to wait liao. great.

Meet the BITCH session

maybe to the others it's the meet the parents session but for me.. it's the meet the BITCH session.. haiz the day i've not been looking forward has finally arrived.. at first i thought is only my dad going but i think he dragged the bitch along or she wanted to go complain la.. so they both went and meet all my teachers.. gosh for the first time in my life i really felt like dying leh.. so pressured by them for the need to do well.. and yah AK tried to crack some weird jokes but i guess the both of them weren't too amused.. ha. whatever.. subsequently they meet up with my chem chinese math tutors yah that bloody bitch actually asked all my tutors to give me extra work.. damn her lor.. as if my hw can finish lidat.. and the worse fucking shit is that she actually went to find the principal to complain bout me joining interhouse and stuff.. bloody. yah la whatever.. and guess what? i saw HIM in school with his mum... haha maybe will become my future mother-in law? hahaha (come on la it's just my wishful thinking) but i still hope that it can come true.. :P at the time i most dont feel like bumping into him.. i did.. and also... today we had badminton interhouse and i won.. haha so happy.. k la i want to go watch tv liao... ciao think i'll study hard and do my nmr stuff later.. hehe muack*

youth DaE~

heyz.. today's holiday for all youths... hehe maybe except the poly students.. well, actually today i should stay at home to study de but.. haiz AK dated the whole class out to watch SPIDEY!! oh my gosh.. the movie was awesome! very nice.. but i still prefer spidey 1.. yeah whatever.. so we went to cine to watch and after that AK act floor head snake brought us to some killiney kopitiam for toast and tea and there got one sucky waiter with some stupid attitude problem.. kaoz.. then AK ended up gossiping with us and commenting bout his attitude.. and for the first time i dint felt that he was the teacher cuz he managed to merge with us quite well.. yeah after that TT wanted to go centrepoint read mag.. (like got so much time) so the whole group of us went along.. and guess what? AK told us a big secret.. haha think i was laughing like a mad woman when he told us that.. when he was young he dreamed of becoming spider man and he went to school to catch a big spider.. and he actually extracted the spider's blood ( he said it was neon blue in colour) and transferred it into his veins on his arm and he just laid there waiting for something to happen.. and all he got was a small bum.. hahaha dumb izit it? i dunnoe whether what he said was true not cuz when i told sm she said maybe he was lying.. but who cares la? i mean i'm really shocked to find that he's actually this kind of person leh.. in my view he's those serious type of teacher but after today.. gosh i actually find him childish? or childlike (this is what he said).. till now.. he's still into transformers leh.. the toy BOYS played with and he actually harbour thoughts of becoming spider man? hahaha so after he told us that we were like all teasing him and stuff la.. can u imagine your civics tutor ( A GUY) is actually into doreamon? hahahahaha yah la whatever.. this sat is the MTPS.. wonder what he'll say.. (your daughter keep teasing me and dont respect me by calling me "ah de")hahahaha think i'll die a horrible death with a excellent result of C F F.. haha dunnoe i tuition also tuition until so shitty results... oh btw i think i dint mention in front that AK was the one who suggested that we go look at TOYS!!!! gosh.. my opinion of him has totally changed.. :| dunnoe for good or bad.. but the seriousness i've always held for him i think... Gone with the wind.. yah so after viewing the toys i took 171 home and i felt that i boarded into a live scene of french kissing.. kaoz.. one couple i think around my age was somewhere near me and the both of them were like french kissing there.. ON A CROWDED BUS! how sick can it be.. i could even see their tongue in each other's mouth ( that's how close i was to them and how gross) kaoz.. they want to kiss go home and kiss la why on the bus.. but i think only me and my friend saw .the rest like COCK-eye leh.. sucks man.. one more even disgusting scene was the guy was holding onto a cup of drink so he fed the girl with it and he took a sip then after that? French kiss again.. woa lao .. i dint mean to see la but kaoz just right in front of me.. AND THE GUY SQUEEZED THE GIRL'S BUTT.. i think they felt like fucking on the bus but too bad not enough space..hahaha so sick la they all... yah but i had an enjoyable day today.. how i wished time hadn't passed so fast.. but... i believe now and i think that it's true that when you're busy with something u won't have time to miss the GUY u like... so hope i can keep myself busy always so i won't have to miss him anymore.. ;)i dont wish to like him anymore and make myself miserable.. ( talk easy action hard) :) ciaoz!

Squash~

heya.. so long nv blog ler.. hehe no time.. everyday go school super sianz. yep later i'll be going to school to take part in the interhouse squash tournament.. WOOHOO! hope i'll get to clear my rounds and not end up like last time... anyway.. yesterday we went to play badminton to get ourselves warmed up for the badminton interhouse.. so excited and i was appalled that actually a few j1 guys were so enthu bout it that they joined us to play.. haha we played till 6 lidat then went home liao.. whole body aching yest but i dont feel anything today.. haha sporty mah me.. lolz.. yah so monday AK gonna bring the whole class out to watch SPIDER MAN 2.. i'm so excited.. can see my ex-husband in action.. haha after that dunnoe whether i should join my classmates for another movie or should i meet up with aloy for a date.. haha if that's what he calls it.. yah la whatever.. i'm always sandwhiched b/tw him and my friends.. yawnz cant be bothered.. aiyoh 10 liao.. i better go get ready for later.. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz missed him as usual and i dint get to see him in school at all this whole bloody week.. i just cant believe it lor.. he signed up for squash but dint go?! haiz.. so disappointed. maybe he's trying to avoid me? great. oh another thing.. TT dint make it to the third audition for singapore idol.. the judges said that he sounded like he was selling durians.. haha actually i'm a bit sick of him not doing his work and keep wanting to copy from me?! haiz.. dunnoe la. so sick of everything and flu is back AGAIN! buaiz`

boring~

k.. just want to blog something be4 the school reopens tmr.. what the hell.. i dint even felt that there was holiday.. sucks.. and the worse shit? i just heard from my hockey teacher that there will be a meet the parents session AGAIN on 10 july.. great.. dooms day for me.. now i'm supossed to do my work and here i'm blogging.. no wonder my results like shit.. hehe.. yeah and another shitty thing.. my phone is officially spoilt and i dont think i will be getting any new phone for the time being cuz i cant bear to part with all the nice nice messages HE sent me and the rest.. so i'll just go repair it and for the time being i'll be using the cool ex-hp of mine--- 3310! hahaha yah la at least got phone still can sms ppl.. k la enough for today liao.. ciao.. HOCKEY ROCKS!

DAMN.

sucks. this morning i woke up at 6.45 wating to go to school.. luckily mum fetched me to school if not i'll be late and guess what? FUCK. the bloody teacher forgot that he had to see us and talked to us for only a bare 10 mins be4 he left for his meeting.. woa lao.. damn it arh.. who he thinks he is.. make me wake up so early to go to school to find him talking to us for 10 mins only.. FUCK. and another bloody shit is my phone is spoilt! cant charge.. dont know what bloody hell.. then the bastard still dont allow me to change phone.. ask me go repair.. my that phone how much only.. by the time repair liao i think will cost even more for a new PHONE!. FUCK.i'm so so pissed now.

L0ve-sIck

i'm so sick of falling in love with you.. damn. saw HIM yesterday at jurong east MRT u call this fate of what? but he was wif JX ( my ex ogl) yeah.. i dint really felt like seeing him at that point of time but yah we just met and waved and i was whisked off by e stupid train.. why couldnt we just have taken the same train if we are even allowed to meeT? :( i really felt like crying when i thought of the scene.. i tried consoling myself saying that maybe cuz they both stay aroung BB area so they also coincidentally met each other? haiz.. hope i'm not lying to myself.. yesterday had tuition until 10.45 and i reached home at 11.15 gosh.. ultimate` first time tuition until so late.. YAWN... so tired and sick of living.. hw,hw,hw,crush,crush,crush,sick,sick,sick,die,die,die...

THe truth is tearing up my heart.. i cant recognise this place the endless road without a stop sign.. cant even find a stranger this time`
Why am i still holding back my tears? in this loniless there is nothing to fear, every chord still seems a wonder how we could be together? everytime i ask i wish this would be the last`
Why am i still talking to myself? hoping you will have the keys to my cell.. every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper how do i get out this i think... i never will~

bee-careful of what u wish for..~

heya.. think i'm quite hooked on this blog thingy.. every two days must come up to blog... sai man.. so bored now supposed to study for the stupid chem retest but here i am blogging.. think i'll flunk it again.. actually wanted to blog yest but mum was hogging the com whole night.. yah so.. now here i am.. lolz.. yest i went to have my haircut at westmall and GUESS WHAT? i met HIM.. how qiao can this be man? haha i was like so shocked to see HIM and HE was shocked to see me and my new haircut.. just for that split moment i think he was staring at my hair?! haha thinking that i just had a thunderstorm created in it? lolz.. and the thing is that be4 i went for the haircut i was wondering if i would meet him there.. a bit out of the world la.. but IT DID CAME TRUE!!!!!! haha :P yah so happy to see HIM la.. happy happy... lolz but i think i'm paranoid leh.. everytime something i consider good happen to me i'll think that something worst will happen to me later.. how? kaoz.. sai man i'm still down with flu... shit. got headache also.. going to rest soon.. tmr still got chem lesson at 8? FUCK. go there also waste time.. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz in class de.. :( ciaoz!

sTill Da SamE..

heya.. today's a boring day.. yawn.. morning met up with sm and the rest of her class ppl to visit elizabeth in NUH.. she had an operation to remove her appendix.. i see that she's quite weak but should be able to recover soon.. anyway i was super duper late when i met them.. we were supposed to meet at 1.30 but i only received sm's msg at 12.30? so how in the world am i supposed to reach buona vista at 1? kaoz.. whatever lor.. i just cant be bothered anymore.. when we went there we bought lizzie a get well soon balloon.. very nice.. heez.. but the super sucky bitchy fucky MEI LENG also bought a balloon for her.. make us look so unoriginal.. sucks.. oh yah and i met Julian there? weird isn't it? lolz... he was there to visit his ah gong.. hope all those ppl who are sick will get well soon.. and this plus HIM.. think he's got a bad cough.. i also.. got flu.. sucks think i use half a box of tissue in 3hrs.. sucks.. love-sick as well.. lolz.. well, today there are some things that i just couldn't stand bout her but i guess i just have to tolerate it cuz she's my friend.. had tuition at night..6.30-8.30 but the tutor was late.. i really enjoy tuition now.. quite fun and i get to learn quite a lot of new stuff i tot i already knew.. yeah.. that's about all i had my dinner at 9 just finishing bathing and yawnz.. going to bed soon but be4 that i'm eating ice cream now.. yummy.. cadbury top deck ice cream... bought a pair of ear rings today too.. $1.90 only.. hehe so happie.. okie.. gotta work hard liao.. ciao!

whAt arE friendS f0r?

i dunnoe man.. seriously.. i cant understand the ppl around me.. even those whom have been my friends for like so many years.. all the time we've spent can be forgotten in small incidents.. yeah whatever... feel very very very X 100000000000 disappointed and depressed to know that the person whom i've treated as my best friend turned out to be like this the worse, have thought of me lidat.. couldnt she have put herself in my shoes and think from my position? haiz.. what's the meaning in life man? not just this incident but also quite a few lor.. it's like i feel that at times she only want me to listen to her rattle off with her crush and complains of ppl in her class but me, i never do that.. though i got lots of things bout HIM to share with her.. i feel that she never give me that chance.. so as time goes by i wont discuss with her about HIM already.. i see no point in it as she wont bother to listen to what i say.. HOW? to whoever is reading this.. this is really what i'm feeling now in my heart.. i feel that i've given too much in this friendship and perhaps both of us are too hot headed to give in.. but i really dunnoe how am i going to resolve this? i feel that i'm not in the wrong and so does she.. dunnoe how..:~( what are friends for if they're not there when u need them most? :~( argh.. damn it my knee's hurting again... shit. ok for the time being i'll forget bout what happened and talk bout some happier stuff.today i went out with fishy and we had delifrance for lunch.. -slurpz- super nice.. so full.. i bought lots of stuff and of course.. burnt a hole in my pocket.. be4 going home we went to ARt FrienD and i bought some D.I.Y stuff to make for aloy's bdae.. hope he likes it.. cuz i spent a lot of time making it.. hehe.. k lar i dont want to blog liao.. hands getting tired.. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

the cold wAr starts...

FUCK. it's bad to start an entry with a vulgarity but i'm feel fucked up AGAIN. damn i really want to know what the FUCKING HELL sm is thinking (go read her blog) i guess the person she say that's not talking to her is me.. FUCK. what's her bloody problem? though the gathering has been cancelled and there's no point getting all worked up about i really feel that she should at least think about what she said to me is correct.. bout "i cant go for e BBQ cuz i'm going for my SUCKY class BBQ" and the bloody problem is that we're just not speaking on the phone but i bloody smsed her lor... if the person she mentioned in her blog is not me then forget bout what i said earlier on but i'm 99.9% sure that she's referring to me.. yah la whatever la.. if she thinks that i'm petty so be it.. i give no fucking damn bout it.. we've been friends for like 6 years liao and if that's her conclusion bout me.. FUCK IT. so be it i just cant be bothered. i dont want to be like her living my life for others. just becuz the guys in her class wants they all to go if not they will be regarded as outcasts.. what the fuck? i see no bloody damn bout it.. she should just do what's deem fit for her.. i'm just going to keep my bloody mouth shut.. let see what's going to happen tmr during tuition.. hope i wont blow my top since she say that i'm a petty person.. FUCK.

F-U-C-K that BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just got back from school.. just now chem prac and i screwed up the whole shit.. dunnoe wad i was doing man.. just flumbering throughout the whole thing.. haiz.. got study also no use la.. wonder how i'm going to take my exams this yr.. maybe i should get retained?! but think da bitch will throw a knife at me lor.. yeah.. whatever.. i was damn fucked up by her yesterday.. she insulted me in front of the whole family (NOTE: i dint say my family ) FUCK. i was damn pissed.. guess wad she said? " if i were to die now i would donate all my money to charity rather to give them to u" what kind of parents would say this kind of stuff to their children? sometimes i wonder if i'm really her child.. and what wrong did i do? NOTHING. FUCK. i merely asked her for my tuition fees and she there rattle on bout my phone bill. like is i what the phone bill to be so high de... even if i ask her to bring me to change the bloody podlite plan that's supposed to be cheap i bet i'll kena scolding from her also.. damn.. what can i do? i got no money and my bank book is with her? FUCK. think if i can get into uni i'll apply for hostel and stay there for my whole uni life.. if caleb say need lots of cca points, i'll get them. just to get the bitch out of my sight. if she dont want to pay for my tuition then ask her to keep her bloody mouth shut when my results suck. dont want to pay for my expenses then give birth to me for wad? FUCKING FUCK.

integration SUCKS!

i'm damn pissed now. (go read sm's blog be u read mine) damn it lor.. i'm not trying to say that it's her fault that the two bbqs are on the same day.. just that I CANT MAKE ANY SENSE OF HER WANTING TO GO TO A BBQ THAT ALL THE PPL THERE ARE THOSE SHE HATES? Fuck lor.. wtf and now she's like trying to put all the blame on me? DAMN! that day she said she wanted to talk to me and i ignored her? HELL WITH HER.. be4 that should i tell u what happened? i was already pissed with her for not coming for our BBQ and then she made me wait 20 mins for her to come to go tuition together.. WTF? ok la although i'm the one usually late but is she arrive early lor.. how u expect me to smile at her after all this shit had happened? i dont even want to see her.. ok damn now the BBq is cancelled and i dunnoe how think we going to seoul garden for lunch... sucks all this just sucks.. i dunnoe my life's turning upside down..damn... yeah whatever.. i'm just pissed at her THAT'S it.. i give no bloody damn bout it lor.. and today i was so so so so heartbroken.. we took the same bus de and supposedly if no other jjcians going to board the bus who happens to be my friend or HIS we would have walked to school together but.. haiz unexpectedly HIS friend boarded the bus and well.. he just smiled at me and i gave a bloody look.. sucks.. all this just suck..what's wrong with me man? i dunnoe also.. after school saw HIM going home alone.. ( MY BEST CHANCE) but.. i was going studying with caleb so lost another chance... haiz :~( i really want to cry man.. why? why is everything going wrong? parents not willing to pay for my tuition fees FUCK! then cant do any bloody integration, love of my life is becoming SHIT of my life... feel like ending my life.. maybe only death can solve everything but i cant bear to leave those who i love.. FUCK

fArked up!

heya.. today blogged a bit early huh?.. hehe cuz no one at home.. i'm home alone.. lolz yeah whatever.. this morning just got nagged by da bitch for my stupid hp bill.. damn it lor i also dunnoe y so ex.. think it's the bloody plan $9.90 podlite.. sai la i feel like changing but dont think bitch will allow.. woa lao i had a small quarrel with her just now.. sucks lor she.. kaoz spoil my day again.. this few days i also dunnoe wad's happening.. i dont seem to be able to get along wit ppl well..?! whatever.. sucks.. later i still got maths tuition with the china guy.. gosh! later i puke right into his face ar.. haha dont feel like having tuition but my maths sucks and i dont seem to be able to find one suitable tutor.. haiz dunnoe how also.. sucks man.. oh yea yesterday me and fishy went out.. quite fun la we had sakae sushi for dinner then nydc for dessert! haha when we went to sakae sushi there was this caucasion guy.. WAH HE'S SUPER CUTE.. like very manly lidat and apparently i was like staring at him.. hahaha think he noticed also la but who cares.. lolz! he took 3 RED PLATES leh.. super rich.. hehe (see i was paying so much attention at him :P) then after smelly fishy suggested we go nydc eat cheesecake.. gosh it was heavenly.. -slurrpz- super nice and thanks to all this eating my pocket burn a hole liao.. hehe but i had fun la.. :) yesterday TT msg me to tell me say he's back in sing and suddenly i felt that i missed him.. kaoz what was i thinking man? only 1 week nv msg him and see him i actually missed him? dunnoe also leh.. haiz confused..confused..confused.. ?!?!?!?!?!?! another thing that pissed me off... here it goes.. we're going to have a ex classmate bbq party at my house then i was supposed to ask all the jjcians if they could come and bloody! only 2 ppl bothered to reply me.. ng nei nei and sm.. but guess wad sm told me? she say she cannot come cuz she's going to her SUCKY class bbq? wtf lor? if she finds her class sucky i would like to know why she's still going for the bbq? go there also see black face only? woa lao so she told me say that if she dont go then the guys will find them outcast? again.. WTF?! if she really hate her class ppl then why give a shit bout wad they say about her? kaoz.. i also dont understand her la... so i dont care liao.. the class BBQ is still on and she just have to choose between them.. sucks man.. pissed me off. ok la i shouldn't be so demanding since that her class is the one that asked her to go for their bbq first but.. since she hates her class? then i really see no point in going lor... aiyah i dunnoe also la.. everytime i give her advice she also dont bother to heed then later she's going to come complain to me like last time i told her not to buy the digital cam cuz like waste $$ lidat and not as if she's going to take pics everyday.. instead to go buy a nice camera phone.. she insisted on not listening to me then now regret liao lor.. what can i say man... i'm very sick of it liao.. DAMN so fucked up by everything.. GOD SAVE ME

burpz~

heyzz.. just blog be4 lunch.. so full now.. actually yesterday wanted to blog at night de but my stupid bro was using the com till 1+ damn him ar.. i think he is crazy or wad la.. aiyah whatever cant be bothered by his bloody and stupid behaviour.. yeah.. yesterday i went out with aloysius to watch SHrek2.. -yippee- hehe very sweet movie.. actually we wanted to go ps to watch de but he wanted to go home to bathe first so we went to his house and then after he wear like ah pek lidat so we decided to go tiong bahru to watch instead.. hehe actually wanted to go walk walk with him de around tiong bahru de la but jr wanted me to go to her house to help make the cheese cake for her bf so had to leave early :( if only she dint come so early... we could have spent some time talking.. haiz.. yah anyway.. this so called 'date' was enjoyable and maybe we can still do it after my exams? hehe.. and one thing i need to mention.. stupid aloysius actually passed me 2 of the scouts ticket thingy and ask me to help him sell.. woa lao ever since i know him he has been asking me to do that for him.. kaoz.. bt nvm la since i'm such a nice person i'll do it for him but AHEM! he better treat me lunch+movie+dinner+new wallet.. haha yah hope he reads this.. lolz ;P but i dont think he's com is ok liao.. (told me that his 6 month old com broke down) i think he visited too much porn sites liao then dio virus.. haha. yeah.. so that's all for talking bout aloy.. now to my sis.. dunnoe y this few days i'm like damn pissed with her.. everytime talk to her will end up scolding her and dont talk for the rest of the night.. maybe i'm having PMS? haha yeah whatever lor.. i'm just not happy at times that she keeps spending time with her bf and spending $$ on useless stuff.. haiz :| dunnoe her la she should be old enough to think for herself.. oh yah another thing that pissed me off.. just not i asked sm whether she want to go out anot then she said ok so she was the one who ask me to ask fishy out de so ok settled.. then since we're having dinner together fishy suggested that we meet at around 3 (which is later la) then sm say dont want cuz too late liao she want to go straight from school so ok la me and fishy compromise with her and say we meet at 1 then she msged fishy say she's in a ridiculous mood and dont feel like going liao.. fuck lor what's her problem? we already compromise liao cant she do the same too? :( haiz yah la i dont want to think about such dappening mood stuff ler... sucks man fucked up my whole day.. but i dont care her la later i'm still going to the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE with fishy.. hope i can get some nice stuff.. hehe oh yah e day be4 i made cheese cake hope those we managed to try it love it.. hehe then next time can make more i also bought muffin mix then can make muffins.. lolz.. i just love baking.. hehe too bad HE dint get to try it.. actually i wanted to msg HIM to ask if HE wanted to try de.. but i think now it's best to keep distance from him for the time being i dont want to have anything to do with him... :~( i've already deleted all the smses we talked on but only those forwarded ones i still couldnt find the courage to delete them.. haiz hope i can get over him soon.. but i guess i still love him.. muack*

........

yeah.. juat a short note.. i'm still missing him... I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM.....

`HeArtbreAk of HArdbreAk?

yeah.. today's maybe the suckiest day of my life.. in the morning went for maths and the bloody lecturer kept calling me dunnoe for wad woa lao.. made me embarrassed myself in front of the whole lt group.. sucks lor...haiz.. yah then after that i still got the bloody self study thingy.. actually i shouldn't call it bloody since i agreed with HIM that this self study thingy is actually good.. yah so WP and JR left earlier and i decided to stay back myself in the library to do my work cuz i know i at home sure slack de.. yah i did lor.. yah whatever.. so during break time i msged HIM cuz he said HE was sick yesterday and okay he said he was feeling better ler but he told me something that really broke my heart.. maybe it's nothing to u the one reading it but to me... haiz :~( he said from tmr onwards he will off his phone during the day so that he can focus on his studies.. what the hell did he mean that when he told me that lor.. isn't it indirectly telling me to stop smsing him? FUCK lor.. maybe is i too sensitive or wad lar.. but i think when u're in love with somebody.. you'll tend to be over sensitive.. damn it i got no one to talk to lor.. no one will understand cuz they'll just say that i think too much la.. haiz.. dunnoe how.. i think studying in school is really effective man.. wont feel sleepy.. yeah.. so that's bout it that fucked up my whole damn day.. can't stand it.. i dont want myself to fall in love with him but i cant la.. damn it.. somemore now is not like leh.. it's love.. but one sided.. haiz.. tmr going still to see him in school dunnoe what's going to happen.. think i'm going to kill myself later.. bye

i'm so in LOVE with You~

Hey Hey~ today's sunday and i'm feeling lazy.. hehe anyway i think it will be a short entry today.. it's going to be 12 ler and i still got maths lec(damn it) in the morning at 8 yawnz think i'll be falling asleep.. yeah anyway today i'm HAPPIE!!!!!! haha why? think the only person that can put a smile on my face is HIM ! and i'm smiling cuz of HIM! lolz.. yesterday we had like a short conversation then i asked him something but he dint reply me until just now.. yeah so we continued our little conversation like one day after i started it? Wah.. it's like so cool! hahaha i'm on cloud nine man.. really.. only just now i found out that he has to go back for the 2 week bloody self study thingy.. haiz but i think it's a good thing lor.. maybe i can see him? haha but at least better than slacking at home... yeah but he told me that he wont be going to school tmr cuz he was sick! hahaha i think why he must tell me that?! yah anyway after that i really regretted not asking him if he needed someone to accompany him to the doctor cuz i'll gladly do it.. hahaha so i just told him to rest early and drink more water.. how dumb can i be?! kaoz... shitty asshole!

BBQ~~~

the day that i've been waiting for finally arrived.. today we had JJ's hockey farewell party BBQ at my house.. wah.. it was really a success man... though not everyone came, we all enjoyed ourselves very much.... all the food, special cocktail we came up with.. haha all the lame jokes and exchanging of pressies.. how i wish time wouldn't pass so quickly.. haiz.. yeah after the BBQ the whole gang came up to my house and we watched the recordings of the match we played against AC.. it was super funny lor.. thanks to the remarks made by Hanan.. haha i think this is the happiest day of my life besides HIM talking to me la.. haha yah so anyway we really had a lot of fun.. shafa was supposed to give a speech that was touching but in the end i couldn't make out what she was saying cuz she was like mumbling through out the whole thing lor.. in e end only she and naddie ending up crying.. so anti-climax lor.. we all.. haha luckily the BBQ was at my house if not i dont think i can stay until very late... today.. tiffy ,daisy,annie,shumin,janice,shafa,nutzi,naddie,carrissa,amal,hidayah,
nisar,harun,hamsha,razali,gary,jiefeng,iskandar came.. we exhanged pressie and i got the one shafa made.. it was super cute lor.. though i can only save it for my baby's future use i still find it very adorable.. hehe thankies shafa.. yeah so we gossiped bout the girl we all hate,haha made fun of harun and her and there la basically the whole day.. laughter was just everywhere (thanks to the lame things i kept cramping about) haha after watching the recordings they left lor.. a bit sad la cuz i was thinking if this would be our last gathering together? hope not lor.. i was very shocked and happy when shafa told me that the TPJC coach wanted me to join their club! hahaha but i got second thoughts if i should join cuz even if i join it would be after the As lor.. i dont want my studies to suffer cuz of hockey.. and i dont think i can handle both of them well if they come at the same time... yah lor... dunnoe how also.. but Harun said that he is going to set up a club and i was thinking if i should join his club cuz at least if i do i'll be training with him... someone i know? haiz dunnoe la think i'll leave it after the As to decide lor... oh yeah.. next week i'll be catching Shrek 2 with either my hockey pals or aloysius.. i haven't make up my mind to watch with who cuz aloy say he wants to watch that together then my hockey pals say that i let them sit aeroplane if i dont go with them so i also dunnoe how.. sometimes if you're too popular like me it's very troublesome de... haiz dunnoe how la but anyway.. i'll just have to make up my mind.. heez~ k la that's a fairly long entry today my eyes popping out liao.. nighties ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz.....

l0vinG y0u is all i wAnnA D0....

heyz.. today's a boring day.. Vesak day.. morning mum instructed me to change the tortoise water and damn it.. my tortoise was nose- bleeding.. haha haiz it's neck i think is about to break liao then now the nose bleeding.. i also dunnoe where got vet can treat my tortoise de.. sucks man :( haiz after that mum brought us to temple to pray yeah then to gp's place to pass them some stuff.. after that we went to some lion city hotel to have lunch.. nothing amazing though my mum said that the claypot rice is fabulous.. alright la.. taste like the kopitiam's one?! she's weird.. k whatever.. after that we went to our gm's place.. and i was dumbfounded to see my gm become so weak since the last time i saw her.. she was sitting on the wheelchair and staring into space.. even when my aunts and uncles talk to her also no response.. my mum said cuz she's suffering from depression that's why she dont feel like talking.. hope she'll recover soon.. heard that she's so weak that she had a tube and a urine bag connected to her bladder cuz she's too weak to go to the toilet herself... :~( my gm!!!!!! and i'm such a bitch i dint go and visit her for i think two weeks ler... cuz i'm always busy.. but the thing is that even if i go ler.. also nothing to do.. not as if i can help out.. haiz dunnoe how also.. now can only pray hard that she'll recover soon.. just now read shumin's blog then i realised that they had training yesterday and they dint tell me.. damn it lor.. ok la i was at Batam yesterday but if they had bothered to tell me i wouldn't have went to Batam lor.. woa lao.. how can they leave me out lidat.. sucks man.. kaoz.. yeah anyway yesterday's Batam trip was quite alright la.. i expected better but my mum was on business trip so dint do much except see her attend meetings.. yawn..ZZZZzzz yeah managed to try the famous seafood there.. had fried SOTONG!!!!! chilli crab, steamed prawn, chilli kang kong, and some boiled snails? SLURRRRP! the lunch was quite nice la except that we ate with my mum's colleagues then must act gentle.. kaoz if i've went wif mt and sm i wouldn't give a damn bout my image lor.. kaoz.. heard from the uncle that the SPA treatment in Batam is damn dirt cheap.. only $50 for a 2 hr session.. still got facial leh.. woa lao in the end we dint get to go cuz not enough time.. i was like so disappointed cuz i thought maybe they could so something to my rotting face? haiz..
:( yeah.. that's bout it la... missed HIM today.. so i forwarded some message to him and he actually bothered to send me another one... hahaha i was practically jumping for joy! hahaha yeah anyway i just miss HIM and cannot have HIM hope i'll see him tmr... i'll be going to Giant to buy groceries for the BBQ on Fri.. yeah.. that's bout all i'm going to blog today... nitez... :*

b/tw Fa+e and c0inCidencE.. dere's only one thin LinE~

yeah.. got this line after watching THE MUMMY RETURNS.. haha yeah nice show after that got DEEP BLUE SEA but like very scary lidat so i dint bother to watch partly cuz i wanted to blog? haha whatever.. aniwae.. today i dint get to go to the Zoo wif hui's niece all THANKS to her da sao who insisted on bringing LM there.. in e end she brought her there herself.. wad the hell lor.. kaoz.. spoil all our mood... so in the end we went shopping at Bugis then suntec.. dint really buy much stuff today.. just some small gifts for the hockey party on fri yeah.. and a pencil box for my sis but THAT BITCH!!!!!!! she dun want it.. ha! better for me.. she's so darn choosy so i just use it myself lor.. the good news is all my stuff can go in leh... PRUS my calculator... that's so amazing... lolz :P yeah whatever.. heez anyway i'm going to BATAM tmr... can't wait... though it's just across the waters for 45 mins.. hahaha i'm still looking forward cuz i hope i can play and enjoy myself.. hope da bitch dun show her bloody black face again or it will spoil everybody's mood... oh yeah.. i'm wearing the hockey bra i bought yesterday and it's very nice to wear.. nicer than the princess one i bought last time... izit cuz it's new that's why it's nice to wear? haiz whatever la.. eh i think today's the new record.. i dint think of HIM yeah.. HIM the same old HIM that has been running in my mind for months.. just now finally told hui how i've been feeling this few days and months and + she read my blog so the only person who knows what i'm really feeling and thinking is HER!!!!!!!!!! yeah better keep it a secret of else... *hiak*hiak* actually i chose not to tell sm bout it cuz.. haiz i also dunnoe i dunnoe wad she'll think of me saying all those crampy stuff in my blog and plus she is already very vexed thinking bout the guy she like?! don't think she'll be in the mood to listen to what i have to say...i doubt she'll be interested even.. haiz it's always lidat i have to listen to what she says but she wont bother to listen to what i have to say.. yeah.. it's lidat.. just lidat.. :( not that we quarrel but it's true that i get unhappy with her sometimes.. just like once after hockey training, she suddenly not talking to me.. so i tot she's angry with me so i left her alone and time crept by be4 i knew it it's been a week since i last talk to her so she wrote a letter to me saying that she's angry with me.. but over what? she also nv tell me.. that really pissed me off lor.. i cannot stand ppl getting angry with me over nothing? what the hell?! yah la but it's over liao so i dont wish to talk about it also ler... haiz... life's so boring.. this morning i had maths tuition.. i tot he was going to be some cute guy.. But..bUt..buT..BUT he turned out to be some CHINA guy.. woa lao he's very sick lor.. i see already feel like puking.. think i really discriminate china ppl they are like so sick.. kaoz.. i'm so bad.. lolz yeah but i think he teaches quite good lar so i have no choice but to see his EEeeeeeeeeKKKKKK's face every week oh god.....haha hope he can really help me in my maths or i'll sure die.. feel like retaining but bitch will kill me la.. haiz dunnoe how la... *yawn* super tired tmr still have to wake up early to take the ferry... ZZZZZZZZZZZzzz be4 i log off give myself 10 secs to think of HIM then i'll call it a day.. haha 10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1..0!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah that's enough for today.. ~nighties~